Broken Strings

C H A P T E R S E V E N T E E N

He could taste the faint alcohol on her lips.

And he wondered if she had kissed him thinking he had been her husband instead.

But she never talked about it. The Monday after, she acted like nothing had happened. And he did the same.

And Sebastian finally gave up.

He moved on, because she too had moved on.

But they still continued being friends, and sometimes even a little more.

"I'm sorry, for everything."

He finally looked up at her, pulled out of his thoughts, thoughts about the days he had met her.

He was sure his eyes were red and puffy now and his heart was broken once again. He was going to lose her forever.

He finally stood up and walked closer to her. And he watched as she started shaking, her tears getting heavier and her heart breaking into smaller pieces.

Sebastian closed his eyes, not wanting to watch to see her cry, and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head.

He was watching the girl he loved give up.

And it was fucking sad.

He was watching the girl he fucking loved give up.

She was giving up. And she was sorry. She shouldn't be sorry.

There was nothing for her to be sorry about.

It had all been his fault. She had never done anything wrong.

He gently held her face in his hands. She was weak. She was very weak.

He could see it. She was dull, she was dull and nothing more. It was as if all the bright colors and sparkly hope had finally faded and all that was left was a pale gray.

A pale, dull and sad gray.

"You need to take the pills Anisha. Promise me you will. They will help." His voice cracked as he held her and wondered if this was the last time he would get to hold her this close to him.

He loved her. He loved her with everything he had. And watching her give up, it was fucking sad. He was practically watching her, dull and fade, a little day by day and all at once.

Anisha shook her head. He shouldn't care. No one could love her.

She didn't deserve love. She wasn't lovable.

And she wanted nothing more than to give up.

"It doesn't matter. What will I get? Another week to live? False hope that I'll get better?" She smiled, painfully. It was reality, it was her reality.

"I'm not going to get better, am I?" Her lips trembled but her voice still held a hint of hope to it. A pathetic hint of hope.

Hope that she would get better. Because she wanted to get better.

She looked up at him, her smiling fading as she took note of the sadness in his eyes. And she already knew the truth.

Anisha Hayes was fighting against time. She was near the end. She was near her end.

No bit of hope could save her. No medication could save her. No prince charming could save her.

Nothing could. Nothing could save her.

And she smiled, pathetically. She looked down at her hands as Sebastian placed his hands on her shoulders.

"You need to try Anisha. You have to try." And that was all he could do. He could only ask for her to try. He wanted to beg her to seek another opinion. He wanted to beg her to have another blood transfusion.

But he already knew the end. And she did too.

"I'm tired. I'm really tired." And everything became gray for Anisha. Everything became gray and dull. Every bit of hope was finally gone.

Her days were less than a few. And there was nothing left.

She wasn't going to get better. There was no point in trying.

"I'm not going to get better." She shook her head, looking down at her hands, tears streaming down her face and her voice holding every aspect of a broken heart as she acknowledged the truth. "I'm not going to get better. This is it for me."

And it was, it was it for her.

This was her ending.

Life would continue on without her. That's how it worked. And she was going to slowly fade away, fade away into nothing.

But she still thought about Andrew, about Ryan and Mira. And how they would be, without her. Because they would have to continue on with life. But without her.

"But still, it's so fucking pathetic but I can't help but wonder how he will be. I can't help but wonder what how he'll be without me. I can't help but wonder if Ryan will even miss me. And with Mira, I can't help but cry. I mean, how much of me will she even remember?"

And it was the one thing that was tearing her apart.

She wouldn't get to watch Ryan and Mira grow up. And every night these days, she always went to sleep dreaming about the events in her children's life that she would be missing out on.

She imagined what it would be like to watch her son graduate. Or what she would cook when he brought home his first girlfriend. And Anisha would also imagine Mira, dressed in a white gown, on her wedding day.

And that was what made her bitter. Because every day, she was watching everything get taken away from her.

Because life wasn't fair. It wasn't fair for her to end like this.

But she wanted it to end. But she didn't want it to end.

She just didn't have it in her to fight anymore. She had fought and fought for so long. But she was tired now.

It was her reality. This was her truth.

And for the first time, she smiled that evening.

She smiled and bit her lip, remembering that once she had been loved. That at some point Andrew had loved her.

That some time, long ago, he had held her with care, he had looked at her with want, and he had loved her with every bit of his heart.

But he was too late now.

And she still thought about it. About how Andrew would be without her.

She had seen how Cassie's death had torn him apart. And she didn't want him to suffer like that when her time came closer.

But she couldn't help but wonder if he would even cry. If he would even cry for her.

She looked up, a sad smile on her lips and her voice holding sadness. "But still, it's so stupid how everything always comes back to him. And I can't help but wonder if he'll even care that I'm near my end. I can't help but wonder if he'll cry as I lay on my deathbed."

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Okay just to let you guys know, the next five or so chapters are going to focus on Anisha and Andrew. Everything that happens does not mean she forgives Andrew. She is trying to give her kids happy memories of her and of when the four of them were a happy family. And her wish is to be loved by Andrew one last time.

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