How To Love (Editing)

Audition

And turned into an unfeeling bitch.

I roll my eyes. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Next to me, Katie is oblivious to my whole internal argument. She's just sitting there, chewing on her nail. God, she's got to get rid of that bad habit of hers.

After what seems like an eternity, the last person stumbles off the stage and after a good ten minutes, Penelope, with her notebook in hand, takes it and the entire auditorium becomes so quiet you can hear a pin drop.

"That was amazing!" she gushes. "All of you did a fantastic job, however, as the roles are limited, only a handful of you would be selected. But this does not mean you weren't good. Every one of you did a great job, I guarantee that. And now," she flips a page in her notebook. "Time to announce the names!"

There are murmurs of anticipation and everyone sits up straight in their seat,  faces eager and full of hope.

"Aaron Tanner will be the Beast."

A collective sigh echoes through the room and I see a few girls shoot Bianca looks full of jealousy. I don't blame them. Aaron is the school's Golden Boy, with perfect grades, is a perfect basketball and football captain and, according to some, has perfect abs too.

I kind of feel sorry for him. Spending time with Bianca is like doing an impromptu tango dance. One wrong step and she'd rip your head off. 

As expected, Kathleen gets to be the Faery Queen and Ariel and Calla are voicing the other faeries.

" - be Pierre!" Penelope calls out gaily.

I'm so busy sitting there, wondering what would happen if Bianca got the role of Beauty, that I didn't hear the name.

And then I saw the last person I've ever expected to see stand up and punch the air, hollering loudly and high-fiving his friends.

Whaaat? Him? Why? WHY?

My heart drops to the pit of my stomach and I'm suddenly glad I only swallowed a piece of garlic bread for lunch. I try to focus on my breathing so it would stay even, but it's clearly not working because Katie turns to me and she's got this strange expression on her face. 

I know that face.

"I know." I whisper, my voice wobbling. 

No, no, no, no. This cannot be happening. 

Why, of all people here, does my ex-boyfriend have to be chosen as one of the main characters? Let me tell you, I only had one ex-boyfriend my whole life. So yes, it's him. Him. 

Shoot me now. For a split second, I want to stand up and tell Penelope to just give the role to Bianca, because I don't think I can handle facing him anymore. I just can't.

Fuck you, the same voice arguing with me earlier snaps. You're being a coward if you plan to ditch the role because that jerkpid ended up on stage with you.

I pause.

Besides, it continues, don't be so stupid. He's the antagonist. Beauty hates him. You will be able to act the whole hate scene with ease.

I blink.

"That will be all for now," Penelope gets to the end and I frown. She hasn't mentioned Beauty. I'm confused. So is Bianca, who is looking around with a perplexed expression.

"For the role of Beauty," Penelope catches my eye and smiles a little. My heart nearly skips a beat. Did she just - does that mean -? I got it? "Ms Miller and I still need some time to decide."

My heart falls down to my feet.

Ms Miller stands up and addresses all of us. "You may all leave now."

"Wait a moment please. May I see Holley Allan? Where are you, sweetie?" Penelope calls.

Around me, I receive death glares, including an especially harsh venomous if-you-think-she's-offering-you-the-role-in-private-you-are-sorely-mistaken one from Bianca. I don't even return it. I'm in too much of a shock.

A famous Broadway star wants to see me alone? So does that mean I'm getting the role then?

God, the suspense is killing me.

"I'll see you at the normal place," Katie mouths to me before she leaves with everyone else.

"Hello, Holley," Penelope beams at me as she gets off the stage. My mind is still reeling. I can't believe I'm having an actual conversation with Penelope Garcia. "I know you're hungry and waiting for your delicious lunch, so I'll make it brief." she arches a perfect eyebrow. Wow, they're fab. Where did she get them done? "You really want the role of Beauty, don't you?"

I waver slightly. Sure it'd be my dream come true if I got it but...Tyler's going to be there.

I look down at my feet, something I've never done before. "Yeah. I do."

"You sound unenthusiatic."

I sigh. "I really want the role, I do. It's just...can you cast someone else as Pierre?"

"You mean kick Tyler out? He's perfect for the role, I'm afraid. And he's extremely happy to get it. I don't get it, is something wrong?" she smiles knowingly. "Boyfriend trouble?"

"That'd be an understatement." I mutter.

"Well, I'm sorry but you'd have to take it or leave it. Bianca Jones is up as well and it'll go to her automatically if you don't make up your mind now."

Tyler. Oh God. Him. I'm going have to face him all over again. I've worked so hard to forget all those memories, and now they're back, taunting me in the face. I don't know if I'm strong enough to go through it again.

On the other hand...after this play, I'll be in Penelope's company and I can forget about him forever. And my future will be completely secure. I'll never have to worry about money ever again. Adelaide would grow up with a fulfilled childhood and I'd be in Hollywood. 

"I'll do it."