Abasement With Heavy Hearts

Chapter 22

"I have plans for this official date, Evan. I've had two weeks of smoking and drinking alone in the house to plan this." Connor remarked, moving away. Evan's face dropped, the sudden realization that the car smelled like smoke coming back.

"A-Are you high or drunk now?" He asked, anxiety replacing the happiness he felt.

"Sober. Don't worry, Ev. I'm not that stupid." Connor rolled his eyes, putting the car in reverse. "You have a list of books you want, right?"

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They pulled into a parking lot of a Barnes and Noble, a soft look consuming Connor's eyes. Evan swallowed a lump in his throat, the feeling of unknown fading from his brain. "You- we're at a book store?"

"Can't you see?" Connor remarked, turning the key out of the ignition. His hair was tucked behind his ears, his tan buttoned-up shirt hanging loosely on his body.

"Of course, y-yeah. But, do you like books? Because I don't want this to just be about me. That seems selfish and I don't really want you to be anywhere you'll be bored, but-"

Connor pushed his lips onto Evan, cutting him off. "I love to read. That's why I decided to come here. We can spend an hour or so here and then go to dinner. C'mon, I'll be a good boyfriend and buy you a few books."

The car door opened before Evan could reply, Connor stepping out. "You don't need to b-buy me anything." Evan insisted, going out his own side of the car.

"Of course I do, you're my boyfriend." Connor added, taking Evan's trembling hand in his. Evan relaxed mentally, but physically tensed.

What if people stare? What if people are homophobic and yell at you two? What if Connor goes after them? What if they go after Connor? What if they go after you? What if-?

"No one's going to hurt us." Connor whispered as they entered the store, reading his boyfriend's thoughts.

"How did you-?"

"You squeezed my hand so tight my fingers are tingly. You're nervous, I get it. I say fuck everyone who doesn't have the decency to shut their mouths. If they see us, two males, holding hands and think they need to yell at us, they can. Whatever in my opinion." Connor started, his emotions heightening at the topic. He paused to take a deep breath, releasing Evan's hand so they could look around the store. "Sorry."

"It's okay, just calm down. Let's look at books." Evan insisted, his eyes already scanning the titles at the entrance.

"How sad is it to be in the 'last chance - half price' section? Like, their book is so bad they can't even put it on the shelves." Connor changed, picking one of them up. He turned away from the section, book still in hand, signaling he was going to buy it.

"Pretty d-damn sad." Evan laughed, almost choking as Connor pat him on the back.

"I can't get over you cursing, it's fucking adorable." Connor grinned, following Evan deeper into the store. Evan had already begun to scan the popular section, looking at books that were, for some reason, getting more and more popular.

"T-thanks? Do you like Harry Potter?" Evan asked, picking up the first book. He frowned, the cover had been changed from the original one.

"I prefer classic books. Or shitty ones. Or cliché ones."

"Oh okay, I really like Harry Potter. Or fantasy or science fiction books. Comic books and all that... But classic books are pretty good." Evan rambled, his palms turning to sweat.

"Tell you what, Ev. You go find me some comics or science fiction or fantasy or whatever, and I'll find you some classics. See you back here in fifteen."

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They met back at the popular table, a stack of books in each their arms. "I got you a bunch of comic books because they're small and they only take less than an hour to read and there's so many superheroes. I got Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Nightwing, Aquaman, Spiderman, Captain America, Iron Man... a couple others sorry I'm rambling sorry."

"No no, it's cute. What else?" Connor asked, his eyes widening at his task for the next few weeks.

"The first two Harry Potter, Ender's Game, Odd Thomas, The Hobbit, the first Lord of the Rings, and the entire Narnia series." Evan finished, a dark red blush creeping on his cheeks. "Sorry it's too much, I'll put some back. I don't know what I was thinking or-"

"Ev, I have two weeks before I start at a new school. That's two weeks home with nothing better to do than read. I love it, thanks."

"You're welcome... w-what did you f-find?" Evan asked, adjusting himself with all the books in his arms. Connor's pile was considerably smaller, but the books he grabbed her thinner.

"The Great Gatsby, To Kill a Mockingbird, Catcher in the Rye, For Whom the Bell Tolls, a book of Shakespeare classics, 1984 and the Lord of the Flies." Connor told him, having to look at the spines of the books. "All pretty good."

"I've read s-some. Been meaning to re-read them though."

"Perfect. Let's go check out."

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They returned to the car with two large bags of books, having split the cost between them. "Ready for dinner?" Connor asked, leaning over to peck Evan on the cheek. They both blushed as they moved apart, a smile on both their lips.

"Yeah."