The art of survival

Mind over matter

I was a little girl in the 4th grade when it all started. I was being severely bullied and even worse my parents were splitting up. I was nine years old and suicidal.

 I was the type of girl who was into Pokémon and video games. When my mom and dad were at work I would be home alone (my brothers had stuff to do after school). I was severely afraid of my home being broken into and me being kidnapped. My mom would show up eventually and my dad was always on his computer. It wasn't one of those happy families you see on TV. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. There was arguing, fighting, words said and doors slamming. "Stop mommy stop daddy! STOP" I would scream through an endless amount of tears. But, they never did. 

My teacher didn't like me and the other girls were always pretty and popular. Something I was not. Soon I would be moving in with my dad with no notice whatsoever. Apparently he had met a new girl in such a small amount of time that it hurt. Her name was Roma. Enough said as I don't want to talk about her.

 Then I developed a crush on a boy in the 5th grade to which he would tell me " You're not pretty or skinny or popular like Angelena" It was hours of crying after that. I would soon develop an addiction to theft and to destroy others property. I got in trouble many many times and it just made it harder on me.

Oh boy, this is the most interesting school year yet! The year I become suicidal to the point of hospitalization. I knew nobody in the beginning of 6th grade year. I made friends and lost a few here and there. No biggie. I was doing pretty good but, then I became a target for bullying. I was called names and pushed around. I often came home and isolated myself. I started self harming as a HORRIBLE coping mechanism. I would make cuts on my thighs and wrist to which would leave permanent scars on my skin. I was finally hospitalized and started on my bipolar and depression meds. I started focusing on life and what I wanted to fix. I would have panic attacks here and there but, with steady breathing and the belief it will get better, I got better. 

My 7th grade year, I became so much better. I became happy. I made friends and set myself up for success. I would soon join choir and find my passion for life.

Oh my gosh. 8th grade year is my favorite! I figured it out. My whole entire life. I made friends and got rid of negative ones. My choir won 1st place in a national competition.  I'm still learning to cope. As I am learning it will get better. I've gotten over sexual assault, bullying, and suicide. I'm happy to say I'm alive❤️