The Truth About Barney. ✔️

2 Barneys?

"I'm sorry what? A porn star?"

"Yeah you wanna judge me now?" Lady Barney glared at me as she grabbed a shirt from the rack behind me.

"Oh no. Not at all. That's cool. My cousin..um she's friends with a pornstar and she has no STDS!" I laughed forcefully. Man I sucked.

She raised her eyebrows at me. "You're terrible. What do you want?" 

I took out a joint and looked at her for permission. She nodded. I lit it before answering.

"I was nosy and decided to see who Barney really is. It's you?"

"I'm Barney Monday to Thursday. And Richard is Barney from Friday to Sunday. Basically any three days me and any three days him"

Who the fûck was Richard?

"What's your name, Lady Barney?" I exhaled some smoke and pulled out a chair to sit.

"Diana. Ever hear of Diana Rivers?"
I shook my head.

"Diana Rivers in a lesbian circle?" She smiled devilishly.

I was in the middle of inhaling some weed when I choked and had a coughing fit.

She laughed loudly. "Man, you're so easy to mess with!" She said gasping for breath as she plopped back down on her purple sofa.

I scoffed. "Shut up, you Barney pornstar. I always thought Barney was a pedophile who kidnapped kids from the park."

She laughed even harder. "You're into some weird kinky shit. If barney was a pedophile, why would kids like him?"

Ok. She had a point. But I hated Barney. His costume looked so creepy with that damn grin on his face all the time singing gay songs and hanging out with kids. I honestly thought he was 40. Maybe Richard was 40.

"You never know." I said handing he my joint. "Your partner, Richard could be the kidnapper."

She took the joint and put it to her lips watching intently stare at her actions. "Are you a kidnapper?"

"Sure. I'm here to kidnap Lady Barney." I rolled my eyes at her. "Tell me. Do you have some kind of voice changer that makes your voice sound like a hoarse molestor?"

"We do. Yes." She reached over to her dressing table and pulled out a mic and some small device that was attached to it from her purse.

She spoke into it.
"Hi every body. I'm Barney. How are my favorite kids doing today?"

I cringed. Barney's gay voice made my insides churn.

"Nice trick." I smirked while taking my joint from her. And your height? You're not too tall. Although your legs are..." I trailed off looking at her jeaned up legs.
"Shame you cover them."

"Jesus. You need to get laid." She flipped her hair. I wear wedgies built into the costume. Are we done here? You interrupted my nap."

"Fine. Fine.  I'm leaving." I stood up and winked at her as I took a step.

"Wait. Careful there's a.."

Oops. Too late. I yelped as I saw the floor racing up to slap my face.

"..bunch of wires there." I heard Diana finish. 

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Whatcha think? 2 Barney's? Haha.

This little whim story is coming to an end. Next chapter will probably be the last one. This story is just for fun. For me to de-stress. Lol.
Vote and comment. Love you guys!  ❤️