Gotham's Apocalypse (A Joke Story [Sequel to Cruel])

25: Both

I wanted to do both.

I wasn't sure how that would happen, but it was a one-step-at-a-time process. I had been hit with this realization as I was doing my homework in the school library, and overheard someone as they walked by speaking to their friend in a hushed whisper. "Did you see the news this morning?" he spoke. "Gotham City is so boring, it's almost like the super villains gave up."

"Are you serious?" his friend answered with a harsh whisper. "Are you saying you miss the destruction? We should be thankful the city was able to afford repairs on the buildings that Miss Morphine bitch made! Sheesh."

"Aw, come on, man. I didn't mean it like that. I just miss seeing Batman chase people down on live television. None of the super villains have done anything lately."

"I'm saying thank god for that."

I held back a smirk as I put my books away. I wanted to see the life of crime, so I was going to go observe it. I slid my backpack on my shoulders and walked home.

I put my backpack down on my couch and ran to my bedroom, trying to find some inconspicuous clothing. All I could find was a big black hoodie and a pair of black jeans. The most conspicuous outfit I could have possibly found, but, I knew how to slide by undetected. I'd just hide in the shadows.

Shadows were my friend, after all. I grinned as I allowed the shadows to escape my hands. Maybe I could perfect the shadows and cloak myself in them.

I walked out of my front door and groaned when I realized the only way to Old Gotham would be to ride a cab, and no cab would voluntarily do such thing. It was basically crime row.

God, I really needed to steal my car back from Joker's. I wasn't sure how I was going to, though.

"Fuck," I groaned. A car was out of the picture. I was about to give up when a car slowed down and parked in front of my house. It was a black Lamborghini. Huh. What was that doing around this part of town?

The driver got out of the car and walked around it to reveal himself. I recognized him instantly as Billionare Playboy Philanthropist Bruce Wayne, the same man who "donated" 20k to my funds to keep me on lockdown in my house. "Hello, I'm Bruce Wayne-"

I cut him off. "I know who you are. How do you know who I am?"

He smiled. "Please. I had to send that fat check to someone with a real name rather than an alias. Of course I got that information, but don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

I didn't doubt that for a moment. Wayne wasn't an unpredictable man. He seemed like a pretty simple dude.

"Doing something you shouldn't be?" He questioned humorously, approaching me with more confidence than I expected in a man who knew my true identity.

"Well, I would," I said half-jokingly. He probably wouldn't pick up the half-serious side. I hope. "But it seems I don't have a car. It's in a place I really can't go safely. So it looks like I'm walking."

"Nonsense," Bruce responded with a slight wave. "I'm sure I can bring you to fetch your car."

I raised an eyebrow and folded my arms. "No offense, but a pretty boy like you steps foot in that side of Gotham, and your Lambo will be as stolen for parts used to fund the heroin addictions in like, 20 homeless people and henchmen. I can't protect both you and the car."

He snickered. "Well, obviously I wouldn't be taking this car."

"Why are you trying so hard to help me?" I questioned suspiciously with narrowing eyes.

He let out a sigh before shrugging. "Honestly, I'd rather you not destroy this city and if it means spending some time making sure you're assimilating to the real world nicely, then so be it."

This struck a nerve in me. "No offense, again, but I don't think you understand the real world as much as I do. I don't think you've ever had the pleasure of hitting rock bottom with no escape besides lunacy, and I don't think you've ever had anything but a cushiony, well-funded lifestyle. Thanks for your money and your weirdly placed concern, but you don't know me and you wouldn't be able to understand me even if you tried. Now, see ya, I'm going to go find something else to do besides waste my time."

I started to walk down the street towards town when he said something that made me stop to turn around in curiosity. "I have a job for you. You could just buy a new car if you successfully complete it."

I slowly turned around to stare at him incredulously with an eyebrow raised. "I'm listening."