Rebellion

13. Blunt Adhesion

“Relationships begin to weaken, then fail when we stop doing the things that it took to get them in the first place.” – T. Jay Taylor.

•••

“…I mean, it’s not like we’re taking it too serious or anything…”

Too serious.

“…I’m not too serious about it, you’re not too serious about it…”

I’m not serious about it.

“…we’re just easing into it and being casual about it. It’s that simple…”

Casual. Simple. Not Serious.

Damn it.

Tiolu banged both of her fists in frustration into her desk once more. Ever since the previous night, Dayo’s words hadn’t left her head for even a nanosecond. His statement about their relationship’s devotion kept on ringing and replaying in her head like a song on the top of her playlist. She knew he spoke the words without much thought and reasoning, but she also knew it was the plain truth.

Anyone with half a brain would know that when a man uttered such statement, it meant he wasn’t ready at all to move to the next stage. What was the next stage anyway, she thought. Complacency in their current stage wouldn’t of course inhibit them from having a fantastic relationship together. But she couldn’t exactly decipher the meaning behind his words.

Casual.

Perhaps, it meant that they weren’t exclusive to one another. Was that what he was hinting at? That while dating him, she could still see other guys? Have a sexual relationship with another guy? Of course not. Dayo was the embodiment and symbolism of morals. Definitely, there was no way he could involve himself in two sexual relationships at once. Besides, it was just yesterday that she was explaining herself and past ordeal so it wouldn’t be misinterpreted. Surely, she didn’t go through all that in vain for him to declare that she was free to do whatever she wanted.

Casual.

Maybe it meant that they didn’t have to adhere strictly to date protocol and rules. It made sense in some sense. For example, he was apparently burdened by the fact that he had to check in regularly on her with phone calls and texts. His schedule was more than hectic and he hardly had time for himself. So definitely, he didn’t have all the time in the world for her, perhaps it was just a bid to propose a motion in which he controlled the rules of contacting her.

It couldn’t be. The sentence sounded way over the top and extreme to be centralized on their contact schedule.

Casual.

Its intention could probably be directed at the amount of devotion they dispensed into their relationship. The number of dates, level of intimacy, frequency of contact and–urgh! It was still related in some sense to her previous point. There had to be a potent reason behind his words asides from the glaring ugly truth. The glaring ugly truth that disturbed her greatly for some unknown reason.

Casual.

There were no two ways to it. Of course, his statement meant their relationship was never going to progress past its current stage. What she didn’t grasp however – was the reason behind her anxiety. His proposition didn’t only make sense, but it was also in accordance with a numerous number of her principles. Why it perturbed her however, was the big mystery.

You want progress, Tiolu.

The voice of her subconscious reverberated through her head. Just like every other time it spoke, it was true. The only reason why she was perplexed by his utterance was because she wanted something on the contrary. Once again, her feelings and emotions had become jumbled and had morphed into a mess. It was indiscernible and why she was willing to admit that she wanted progress, she couldn’t exactly uncover the reason behind said want.