Sisters Before Misters?

Message

I don't think I have the strength to open the message.

I thought she was dead.

I screw my eyes shut, take a deep breath, and let it go.

I tap on the blinking envelope.

And open the message.

It's not Jackie.

It's her mom.

I can tell by the way she starts the message.

I begin to read.

*Hello Amanda. I'm so sorry I didn't get to you sooner. I didn't have your number, and couldn't find Jackie's phone. I invited you to the funeral, but you didn't show. I lost all happiness and sanity since Jackie has left us. All I could do was cry. I haven't smiled, I haven't laughed, I haven't eaten, I haven't drank anything ever since she's been gone. I have lost myself. Amanda? Please call me when you get the chance. I have so much to tell you..*

I keep rereading the message... Not knowing what to do. Should I call Nancy? Should I text her?

What the hell should I do ?!

This text threw me off guard so much.

I can't think straight.

Argh! Why did you turn your phone on Amanda?! Why?! Why are you so stupid?! So useless?!

So worthless?! Huh?! What's the point eh?! All you do is make MISTAKES!! You screw everything up!!

Jackie's death is your fault!! You did this!! If it weren't for you, everything would be fine!!

Perfect, without... Without you!!!!

I scream.

Loud.

And I don't stop until I lose my voice.

Everything's screwed up because of me.

This all happened...

Because of me.

It's all my fault.

E v e r y t h i n g.

Is m y fault.

And all happiness I have gained, has now been sucked into a black hole.

And I don't catch it in time.

The strength that has been gained snuck away without my knowing, and it was already sucked in when I realized it was gone.

And I'm back to where I started from.

Only worse.

Extremely worse.