The Hidden Life of AJ Lee

Chapter 15- Wind

I felt the sense of emotion taking over me and dared to bring my body to sit on the ledge, my feet now dangling over Chicago. It was beautiful. The colors flashing all around, the wind combing through my hair. I closed my eyes as I felt myself lean into the inviting breeze.

Before my mind could even process what was happening, someone engulfed me in their arms, forcing me to my feet and away from the ledge. I started thrashing, but hold only became stronger.

"Hey! Let go of me! Let go!" I screamed and hollered as loud as I could. The arms around me loosened and I broke free from their grasp, turning around to see who had the nerve to touch me. I saw the hazel eyes that looked down on me with concern.

As we looked at each other in silence, CM Punk suddenly grabbed both my arms and pulled me close to him, forcing his lips against mine. My eyes widened in shock at his sudden outburst, but his inviting familiar touch soothed me. As I let my eyelids flutter shut, I returned our kiss with just as much emotion as him. I wasn't sure which emotions we were feeling. Sadness, anger, longing, grief. Whatever they were, they were strong, they were powerful, they were pure, and they were real.

The kiss deepened as Punk gently bit my bottom lip, his hands now protectively wrapped around my waist to keep me from leaving him. I moved my own hands so that they now laid on his chest. The whole world seamed to vanish, everything except for me, Punk, and the shimmering city lights that twinkled around us.

It was Punk who eventually broke our kiss, but even then our faces were only centimeters apart. My forehead rested against his as we both tried to regain our breathe. He spoke. "Please tell me I didn't just save you."

"S-Save me?" I quietly asked, still trying to catch my breathe. "Save me from what?"

Punk's hold loosened on me so now I was looking at him directly in the eye. "You're depressed, I find a note on my floor reading 'Goodbye', and then I run up here to see you sitting on the ledge of a building, what the hell do you think I was trying to save you from?"

It took me a moment to process what he'd just said. The goodbye, my disorder, me on the roof. All the signs pointed to it. Punk thought I was going to kill myself.

Then it dawned on me. Was that what I was going to do? Of course, I wasn't planning on it, but suicidal thoughts weren't uncommon in depressive states of bipolar disorder. If he hadn't have come up here, would I have, in the heat of the moment, pushed myself off the ledge?

Would I really be dead if Punk hadn't have been here?

He must have seen the panic on my face and brought me into a tight embrace, my eyes wide and about to be broke with tears. My mouth opened to speak and my shaky voice spilled out.

"O-Oh god, I-I don't know," I mumbled. I didn't know what else to do but repeat those words over and over again. With every choked gasp that escaped me, he only made the hold tighter. My legs gave beneath me from pure exhaustion and the overpowering emotion, but I didn't fall. Instead, I was lifted off my feet as Punk now held me bridal style.

"I've got you, AJ, I've got you," he whispered into my ear. I snuggled into his chest as I felt him walk away from our current position. The lights from inside the building soon awaited us.

Punk took me back to his residency, gently helping me to my feet as he unlocked the door. He led me into his bedroom, telling me to sit on his bed as he went to find something. I hugged myself waiting for his return.

When Punk showed his face again seconds later, he held a t shirt in one hand and a white towel in the other. He set them both down on my lap. "Go take a shower." Punk ruffled my hair. "It'll make you feel better."

I nodded as he pointed towards the bathroom. Once inside, I turned the nob so the water was a steaming temperature, carefully stripping down and stepping in the shower. The hot liquid felt wonderful against my skin, washing away the dust and oil that covered it, feeling so much better than the cold air outside.

Because of my desire to go to sleep, I simply marveled in the water for five minutes before placing my feet back on the tile floor. I slipped my bra and underwear back on before pulling Punk's shirt over my head, then leaving the bathroom and finding his bedroom once again.

Punk was now in sweatpants and a white t shirt, turning down the covers of his bed as I entered. His attention automatically focused on me as he patted his hand on the mattress. "Come here."

Not knowing what else to do, I sat on the mattress next to him. He climbed inside the mess of covers and grabbed my waist, pulling me in after him. His arms wrapped around me and, if possible, the hold was even tighter now than on the roof. Almost as if I was his life source.

"Punk-"

"AJ, you have to listen to me when I say this." his voice was smooth and pure, "I've already lost you too many times now. I'm not about to loose you again."

Loose me. I wasn't sure if he was talking about me leaving him again or the fact that I could have taken my final breathe tonight, but I buried my face into the cloth of his shirt. It was felt in the atmosphere that neither one of us wanted to ask questions.

I was about to drift into slumber when his voice brought me back to life. "Um, I, uh, I thought I might warn you, I get pretty bad night-"

"It's ok," I looked up so my gaze met his. "I get them to."

Punk cracked smile and lightly kissed my forehead. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I said softly and let my eyes close. At the moment, I didn't know what we were. Friends, lovers, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that, for this short moment, both of us were happy. And I could tell neither of us wanted this moment to end.

- El ♥