Holy Judgement: a Dan x Phil fanfiction

The beginning, the middle, the end.

It was a breezy summer night, the sky was still bright despite the time being exactly 8PM, as if the sky was naught but a façade wearing the cloak of day. A lie disguised as truth. 

Daniel was sitting at home, staring at his channel's front page and smirking to himself, scoffing at the viewers, for every view equals money and money is what every human being strives for, is it not? Dan felt happy but this happiness was false and maybe a small part of Dan's mind knew this but he rest of Dan's mind and soul was too attached to this fake feeling.

Dan's thoughts were soon interrupted by the noise of a door busting open, his bedroom door to be exact. Startled by this loud noise, Dan let out a pitiful yelp and quickly turned his body around to see who it was; Philip, Dan's friend was drunk again and in a bastard rage like no other, Phil was slurring his cusses like a loudmouthed maniac would scream about the end times on a street corner but unfortunately for Dan there was no police officer to pull the enraged buffoon away and lock him up.

Phil stumbled over to Dan, Dan remained seated in his chair, trembling ever so slightly. Phil forcefully grabbed Dan by his shirt and whispered "Fuck me." still slurring. The alcohol on Phil's breath was almost unbearably strong.

As Dan heard these words coming from Phil's beer-drenched lips, he felt a bittersweet feeling of lust and replied to Phil's demand with a "Yes, daddy."

After Dan said this, Phil dragged Dan onto the bed and put his open bottle of beer on the bedside table and removed his clothes in a slow, sloppy way. Dan did the same but way less drunkardly. The two clashed their naked bodies together, emitting a smell of beer and cheep aftershave.

Phil grabbed a hold of Dan's greasy, ugly hair and forced his head unto Phil's erect, smelly vagina.

Just as Dan was about to insert his dorito covered tongue, the pair's sinful coitus was interrupted by an ear-piercingly loud crash as the front of their house was suddenly turned to dust by some sort of explosion. An explosion which caused a bright light to shine upon the homosexual lovers.

The explosion was triggered by Jesus Christ himself. "Thee shan't continue your embrace, for this is against the word of God. The day of divine judgement is upon thee and the rest of the sinners of your kind!" He proclaimed.

Dan and Phil were too dumbfounded to speak, instead they let out small whimpers as if they were two dying dogs.

Just then, Jesus stared into the souls of Dan and Phil and found nothing but sin, nothing else but sin. Jesus took it upon himself to eliminate these two sinners from the earth and he chose to do so with a divine power reserved for only the most evil of man.

Jesus let loose a laser-looking projectile which zoomed towards the two, the laser penetrated Dan and Phil's skins and tore them apart until there was naught but blood covering the rest of the house. 

Leviticus 20:13

"If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be putto death, for they are guilty of a capital abomination."