Unscripted. // Lucas and Marcus

Chapter 17 : Escape from Reality...

Nani's P. O. V. :

   Marcus’s door swung wide open all of a sudden and the light was switched on. My heart automatically dropped to my stomach. In response we both immediately pulled away, focusing our attention over to the door.

   It was Lucas. Ugh. Not this. I don't need this. And everything was just going so well. He just overall ruins my mood. But honestly I was kinda relieved it wasn't someone else.

   He looked at me as if he was astonished and that confused me until he finally spoke up.  

“Nani! What happened? ” He asked racing over to me to cup my face.

Oh right! I had forgotten all about my injuries, all that was captivating my mind was Marcus.

“Oh so now you want to know how my well being is?! It's not like you cared before! ” I said awfully bitter,  standing up from the bed and yanking his hands away.

“Of course I care, I always have and always will! But It's not like you cared about me when.. ” He yelled,  but ended very quietly. Then dropped his head right as his eyes began to water.

“What are you talking about? For the fucking sake of my life just say it already! What did I even do? ” I yelled back on the verge of crying by how mad he was making me. I couldn't even be sad about it anymore. He's driving me crazy. I already have enough going on. After that I could sense Marcus stand up from the bed behind me.

“Just tell her. ” Marcus said and I immediately turned around to look at him.

“You mean all this time you knew and didn't bother to tell me?!... And you of all people knew how much it was upsetting me! ” I nearly shouted in his face and he shot back.

“Hey! Calm the fuck down! You know I can't intervene so I don't know why you want to put me in the middle! I'm not the one to tell you! You're so…you're so… ”

   At this point I began mad crying and was drenched in embarrassment,  but was also still engaged. And not gonna lie, I couldn't believe he full on yelled at me,  but I definitely couldn't believe he cussed at me. And just as everything was seemingly getting better.

“I'M SO WHAT?! ” I yelled back and awaited for the possibly heartbreaking words to escape his mouth.

“YOU'RE SO AGGRAVATING,  EVER SINCE YOU GOT BACK HERE IT'S LIKE I'VE BEEN LIVING IN HELL! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU,  WHY CAN'T YOU JUST EXIST! ”

   That was the one of the most hurtful things anyone had said to me in general. But hurt one hundred times more to hear it from my crush, but most of all someone I loved and referred to as my best friend.

   Instantly my eyes watered and I took off, nudging past Lucas. I grabbed my bookbag from his chair and was on my way home.

   As I was walking out the twin’s door I could see in my peripheral vision an apologetic looking Marcus and a taken back looking Lucas,  not that he didn't agree with Marcus’s words.

   Thankfully my pain was easier to adjust to since some time had passed,  so the walk home wasn't terrible.

   I was more than halfway up my driveway before sensing another presence. I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was.

“What Lucas? What now? ” I asked unamused by being followed.

Nothing was said so I turned around to look at him.

“Well are you gonna tell me now? ”

Silence. He looked like he so desperately wanted to say something,  but couldn't.

“You know? I wish Marcus was more like you…and knew how to hold his tongue so damn well. ” I spat,  walked into my house,  and slammed the door.

I was so done.

   I knew my Sisters were somewhere around the house, but that didn't matter to me. I went straight into my room and locked the door. I then headed straight to my bathroom. I turned the faucet to the tub and let the water run while I rummaged through my cabinets for pills. I didn't want to feel anything anymore.

   I found a few bottles and didn't even care to read them before gathering all of them. Some were to actually help me to lose weight. I got them secretly after my first encounter with  Aria. I know… I'm so pitiful. I'm practically making less of myself by even taking her words into consideration,  but for some reason I couldn't help it. Probably because it concerned Marcus, she basically told me he liked girls in shape. Am I not not one of those girls? Apparently not…Marcus wouldn't be so distant with us being a thing if I was. But I shouldn't be thinking that materialistic. I just don't know anymore. And what he said to me was horrible,  but I kept forcing it to the back of my mind to deal with later. I just couldn't now. My world was upside down. And all I wanted to do is what Marcus wanted, for me to just exist.

   I don't know why,  but everything,  every bad memory from the past few weeks came crashing down on me. That's when I couldn't take it anymore so I chugged down different types of pills all at once. I then swiftly got in the tub, fully clothed and continued swallowing pill after pill. For some reason getting in the tub has always soothed my nerves after tragedy. And has kept me from…cutting again. Though no one knows of that or ever will so I hope.

   I typically would just lay on the bottom of the tub and hold my breath,  looking lifeless. It would always put me to ease. When I first started doing it as a child my parents would freak, but eventually got used to it. They would always tell me not to before they did though, not that it ever phased me. At least not before I found out this time was different. The room was spinning and the water was climbing in height. Everything started becoming a blur then quickly the darkness crept up on me and I was gone. I tried to fight it,  but it was too late. All that was left of my reality to me was the sound of running water and that quickly faded too.