Staying Afloat

02 | bitter sweet

"Memories, even bittersweet ones, are better than nothing."

-J.L Armentrout

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10 years ago

            HOME, THANK GOD. I was thoroughly drenched. Water was dripping from my sleeves; I squeezed each of them creating a small puddle on the floor. My hair was separated into long dark strands hanging down my back each leaving trails of water in their wake. My shirt was chafing against my back making it burn in aggravation.

            The thunder clapped several times and there was a flash of lightning that illuminated the hallway. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass. I filled it up half way with ice and the rest with water. Droplets of condensation instantly formed on the outside of the cup. I put it up to my parted lips and let the cool water invade my senses. It was in this moment when I heard the moans. What the hell? More moans. I trudged upstairs following the sounds that increased in volume as I got closer. I pushed open my parent's door and immediately had to turn away. So much for coming home early. My mom was wrapped around a man that was definitely not my father.

            "What the hell?!" I yelled throughout the house. I was sure the neighbors could hear me. I didn't care. I felt so betrayed in that moment.

            "It's not what it looks like!" My mom cried and I laughed, it was hoarse and dry; a cruel laugh.

            "You mean to tell me that this is not you having sex with a man who is not my father. NOT YOUR HUSBAND! On your SHARED bed!" She couldn't be serious! I was so angry; my blood instantly ran hot. I could no longer feel the wet clothes clinging to my body as I briskly walked further into the room picking up each piece of clothing and throwing them at my mom. "Get dressed! And you!" I pointed to the man looking up innocently at me. "Wipe that innocent look off your face and get your ass out of my house," I walked out and slammed the door shut. Today was definitely not the day for this. My poor father, what would I tell him? I instantly wished that I had stayed at school.

            I heard my mom's gentle footsteps approaching the island in the center of the kitchen where I sat head pressed to my knee. I was trying to will away my headache.

            "Beatrice, please don't tell your father," she pleaded with me, her voice breaking. She put her hand on my knee and I quickly brushed it off.

            "How dare you put me into the position?!" I grunted through clenched teeth. I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, "what the hell do you expect me to do?! You cheated! You betrayed Dad, this entire family!" I paced away listening to her whines of regret. I was done.

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            "DAD, EVERYTHING IS perfectly fine here! Don't worry," I lied. Everything was most definitely not fine here. My business was failing and I was flat broke but I'd rather die before admitting it to anyone. I would dig myself out of this hole. Alone.

            "Bo, if you need help. Please call me," I was starting to think that maybe he was reading me much better than I originally thought he could.

            "Of course! If I need help you will be my first call," I reassured him. "I have to go now but I will call you tomorrow?"

            "Yes, please do! Love you sweetheart!" With that, I hung up. I missed him a lot, but I knew he was happy. He was living his ideal life and I didn't want to burden him with the troubles of my struggling business.