No Games Left to Play

27: Baby Talk

After I told Peeta I was pregnant, he couldn't keep his hands off me. He would make up the most random excuses for the sole purpose to lay a hand on my lower abdomen. I had to ask him why he always wanted to feel my stomach. He said he wanted to see if my belly had gotten a bump yet— that he wanted to see if he could feel the baby growing. Every night I fall asleep to him telling the baby stories, only to be woken up the same way. It would be an understatement to say that Peeta is beyond thrilled about having this baby. He is without a doubt madly in love with our child.

"I love you to the moon and back," he whispers to the child every morning and every night. "Always."

I was hesitant to get so attached to the fetus growing in my womb. Even after I had gotten the repeat blood results back from Jade, it took me days to believe her when she said everything looked perfect and that I shouldn't have a single problem with this pregnancy. In fact, her exact words were, "everything should go absolutely swimmingly." Her reassurance was settling, but there was still a piece of me that is petrified for the things to come. I'm walking on eggshells, waiting for something tragic to happen.

Jade warned me about the inevitable morning sickness, and lucky for me that kicked in pretty strong right away. It's so bad that I feel the fire crawl up my throat before I can even fully wake up in the morning, and then I'm rushing to the toilet every hour until mid-afternoon. It's been this way for six weeks.

"Hey beautiful," Peeta greets me with a smile as I somberly walk into the kitchen.

"Hi," I whine.

"Tea?"

"Please."

"How are you feeling?"

"Same as I have every morning for the past month and a half," I groan, slumping down in a chair. "Miserable."

He frowns, "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" 

I shake my head, "Probably not. I think I'll just have to suffer."

"Do you think you should see Jade?"

"I don't know," I shrug my shoulders.

"Would your mom maybe have a trick or something that will help?"

"That would require telling her," I say after taking a sip of my tea Peeta placed in front of me.

"Which is a bad idea because?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready to, Peeta."

"Tell her," he kisses me on the forehead. "Before someone finds out and tells her before you get the chance."

"Someone like you?"

"I could slip up," Peeta winks.

"I'll call her after breakfast," I sigh, knowing I won't win whatever battle this is.

"If you really don't want to tell her I'm not gonna make you."

"What if something happens," I start to ask. He opens his mouth to interrupt me, but I don't let him speak. "She's old, Peeta. When something happens and we break the news to her, it'll break her heart and... a-and what if it kills her?"
"Honey, nothing is going to happen," he says. He kneels down at my feet and dries off my wet cheeks with his thumbs. "You need to remind yourself what Jade said every time you start feeling uneasy."

"Easier said than done." 

"I know," he says, tucking some hair behind my ear. "I'm scared too."

"You are?"

"Yeah," Peeta nods. "I have been since you told me that you were pregnant. Then Jade said things were going to be just fine and I felt confident that nothing bad was gonna happen, but now I'm scared that I'm not gonna be a good dad."