Lady Eilean

Chapter 9

No one stopped us, nor turned a spare eye in our direction, and soon we were free of the castle grounds. I ripped off the cloak and enjoyed the feel of bright sunshine on my face. We made our way to the river, picking our steps carefully through the boggy, muddy ground.

"Mother is going to kill me if I ruin this dress," I said, stopping for the fourth time to collect the ruffles and the flounces in my arms. It was a desperate struggle to keep the skirts from dropping into the muck.

Alex looked over his shoulder, noting the wet stains streaking up the light blue silk, "Your hem is ruined, you might as well surrender. You lost the battle, Eilean."

Huffing, I dropped my skirts, "Yes, but I had hoped to hide my tracks."

"A foolish notion," he teased as he approached the bank of the river.

The river was wide and fast but had several offshoots where the water collected in rocky shallows. Concealed from the castle by a steep hill, we would be hidden from view. While I had become adept at sneaking out before dawn and seeing the world in the rosy glow of early morning, this was my first time outside the castle walls in broad daylight. I was dizzy with the wide expanse of a world open to me, the brightness of the sky, the charming picture as sunlight danced on the sparkling water.

"This is beautiful," I said, in awe.

"By all means, paint a picture. But I brought you out here for a purpose," Alex bent and swiftly reached into the water. He pulled out a bright green frog and held it aloft. "I need your very special skills. If you still have them, of course."

A challenge glimmered in his eyes and his lips pulled to the side of his mouth in a playful smirk.

"It has been a very long time since I tried to catch frogs," I said, seeing what Alex had planned for Walther's wedding night.

"Think you can still beat me?"

I grimaced, looking at the pools before me. The mossy rocks, the slippery mud. It made me queasy to even consider touching a frog. Feeling the creature squirm and wriggle in my fingers. Enduring the frantic thrash of them in my pockets. I shuddered.

When I didn't answer, Alex laughed. "Coward."

"How did you find out where Walther and Bess were staying tonight, anyway?" I asked, watching as Alex pocketed another frog. It was unlikely they would spend their wedding night in the castle.

"I went down to the kitchen to get some extra buns after breakfast. When I saw Cook preparing a basket of wine and other food, I asked what it was for and she told me."

"I'm glad to see her confidence can be peddled for the mere price of some blue eyes and flattery." I chuckled. Alex and Cook had always been thick as thieves. He loved her sweets, and she enjoyed mothering him.

Alex looked at me innocently, "I flatter no one," he said, dropping his hand to press it over his coat pocket, which was wriggling frantically.

"Not unless cinnamon buns are involved," I shot back.

"Or pretty ladies." He winked.

I took a step back, stumbling at his words. "None of those around here, I'm afraid."

Alex opened his mouth but promptly closed it. He turned back to his struggle with the frogs. I watched him work for a while, wondering if I had made some kind of misstep. Deciding it would do me no favors to replay the exchange repeatedly in my mind, I let it go.

"Come," Alex said after he had secured about twenty frogs, "these beasts won't be happy for much longer. Let's get them to where they need to be."

"Lead the way," I said, gesturing with my hand.

Alex exited the ankle-deep water of the shallows and looked at me with a bright smile, "To the Knights Inn!"

Sneaking through a side entrance of the inn, Alex and I ran up the stairs to the topmost room. A polished gold plaque on the door read "wedding suite". We barged in.

"Look! They've decorated it so beautifully!" I said, admiring the sprays of wildflowers placed around the room and tumbling down the canopy of the bed.

"Oh! I jumped, noticing a maid in the room, sweeping the grate. "Excuse us."

"We are leaving a good omen of love and good luck for the happy couple," Alex said evenly, doing his best to keep his coat from jumping.

The girl swept her eyes across Alex and I, taking in our mud-streaked appearance. She pressed her lips into a fine line, unimpressed and disbelieving. Gathering her things, she left the room, shooting us an annoyed glance as she passed.

"So much for witnesses," I grumbled.

"How do we keep the frogs in the bed?" Alex asked, struggling with his cargo.

"Prayer," I snipped irreverently. "We'll just tuck in the sheets, of course. But be quick with it so we can get back."

"Nervous someone will notice you're gone?"

"Not likely," I said, glum.

"You are far too locked up," Alex said, crossing to the bed. "You were as a child and it's worse now."

"I know that," I kicked at the door, frustrated. "I don't control it."

Alex looked at me with a sad, compassionate smile, "I think you have more control than you realize. You just don't accept it."

"You don't know what it was like the last three years. Before you showed I don't think my brothers even knew my name. All of this — " I held out my arms wide, "the riding and the lessons and being included are brand new. It only happened after the Standing."

Alex grunted and busied himself with scooping the frogs out of his pickets. I assisted, holding up the bed covers so he could deposit our wedding gift.

"It's easy, too easy, for all of you, to imagine how you would do things differently. But none of you are me, Alex. And none of you are women. As men, you have more freedoms than you realize."

"I am sorry," he said, looking at me. "You're right."

"Give it time. Give me time. I can attend lessons now, I can sneak out with you and my brothers at dawn, but I have to be cautious. Anything and everything I do can jeopardize my...success...at fulfilling my duty."

Alex frowned, "Do you want it? Do you want to marry and used as a bargaining chip?"

I blinked a few times and considered. I had never even asked myself such a question. "No," I answered.

"What do you want?"

Shaking my head, I tucked the sheets tight around the mattress. That was an even harder question to answer. "I don't know."

I met Alex's gaze and found comfort and understanding there. He nodded. "I hope you find out, one day. I hope you are given the chance to find out who you are and what you want. I hope you will be free to pursue your dreams." An ember of warmth sparkled in his eyes. A secret, strong emotion I couldn't decipher.

"Thank you," I breathed, nearly undone at the intensity of his blessing.

"I won't stand for your abuse," He swore.

Laughing, if only to deflate the heavy air of the room — air that was too alive, too potent — I said, "If you think I'm being abused, then you have been much too spoiled, Alex."

"No, you have been much too unloved."

I had to look away, to blink back the sudden rush of feeling that overwhelmed me. It was confusing to receive such open, frank concern. I wasn't sure what to say in return.

Alex smoothed the bed covers and allowed me a moment to pull myself together. When I again looked at him, he smiled. "I hope they use a bed warmer," he said with a mischievous smile.

My vulnerability vanished in an instant and I laughed. "You're terrible."

Alex grinned and held out his hand, "Let's get back."

Without hesitation, I clutched his hand in mine. It was so familiar, so soothing. We didn't drop our hold on each other until we were in sight of the castle gates.