Save Me

Days Go By

The days leading up to the first day of school were a blur of melting snow, movies, and too many cups of hot chocolate spiked with cinnamon. I spent more of my time with Peter tucked up in his room than I did in my own house with my father. He knew I was avoiding him and for the moment, my father was allowing it to happen.

True to the judge’s word, someone stopped by the house from Social Services. I was conveniently there with the paperwork Mr. Marks had given me the day before to present to the worker. She sat us both down on the couch, me on one end all closed up like a moonflower with my father on the other end completely open to have this conversation.

The worker looked from one of us to the other, scribbling down a few notes before looking definitely at me.

“How are you holding up, Cassie?”

“It’s Cass,” I said rather sharply. “And I’m holding up just fine.”

She nodded and wrote something else down. “Are you settling in ok?” I nodded. “Ready to start school tomorrow?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Mr. Kennedy, how are you planning on handling your business if you don’t mind me asking?”

My father folded his arms over his chest. Maybe he wasn’t as ready to answer her questions as he had thought. “I’ll be here for the rest of the week and then I’ll be heading back into the city for a few days.”

“And what will happen to Cass with you…away?”

I really wanted to snap at her, tell her I was an emancipated minor and I didn’t need a babysitter but I just sat on my end of the couch, silently simmering, and let my father answer the question.

“I’ve hired a part time housekeeper. She’ll keep an eye on things and Detective Collins has agreed to spend some time with her while I’m gone.”

“You do realize that those people are not a suitable replacement for a parent.”

“I understand that but I’m trying to make this work to the best of my ability.”

The worker looked over at me but I was staring off at picture on the mantel. My father had a bunch of different ones ranging from ones of me by myself, me with my mom, and of course the one picture of me and him that Peter had taken when we first moved in. The perfect depiction of a happy family.

Too bad it was just a fabrication of the truth.

Our family wasn’t happy.

It was broken.

“Cass? How do you feel about that?”

I shrugged, still not looking at her. “It is what it is.”

“You don’t sound too happy about that…”

I was about to cross both arms over my chest but checked it and instead stuck them under my thighs. “I’m just playing the hand I was given. It’s the best I can do…”

“You chose this,” she said carefully. “You had a completely different option.”

“An option I was never going to take. I told the judge as much when he asked.”

She considered me for a moment, glancing over at my father on occasion. I’m sure she took note of the fact I never looked at him and barely acknowledged his presence as we sat there waiting for her to say something else.

“I must say, Cass, that I’m a little unhappy with your current living situation. I think you’re hardly ever home even when your father is. That tells me the stability you’re supposed to be finding isn’t happening.”