Birds || Fuenciado

Chapter 27: I Promise You

Alex doesn't say much. He kind of just leans, on the worktop of his desk, hands over his mouth. His normally jovial, dancing eyes have gone dull, shocked and upset and angered, and he just closes them and breathes out slowly.

I don't say anything either. Neither of us can.

"Vic..." he starts softly, and then shakes his head. "I thought...from what you told me, I thought maybe he'd just been beaten up..."

I nod, not saying anything, and wrap the blanket tighter around my shoulders. I've made a change in scenery from my usual position of the bed today; I'm curled up into the corner of my room and swaddled in the sheets I've pulled off my bed. There's something about snuggling into a corner that somehow feels safer than sitting on your bed.

"I'm in shock," Jack says quietly, shaking his head, licking his lips. Even he has lost his silliness. "How is he?"

"Post traumatic stress," I tell him. "And depression."

"Fucking shit. Is he on any treatment?"

"We can't afford what the doctor offered," I shake my head. "Meds too expensive. Therapy is too expensive too. We're trying to figure out where we can get the money from..."

Alex just stays silent, and almost looks like he's going to cry. "Have you gone to the police?"

"Yeah. Mike gave a statement. They've been interviewing Green and his posse...but we haven't heard since. There's a full inquiry going on at the school, Nick and Jordan told me there are cops down there interviewing teachers, the new principal...trying to work out how this even had an opportunity to happen."

"How did this have an opportunity to happen?" He suddenly says, sparking fury. "It should not ever have escalated to this point. If she'd let him come out of classes, or if she hadn't merged them -"

"Ugh," I sag. "Don't. There are a thousand points things could have been different."

"When I was in high school," Jack starts, quieter than I've ever heard him be, almost matching the tone of the ever shy and reserved Zack, "I...I was actually assaulted. Like that. In that kind of way."

I raise an eyebrow, surprised, as Alex spins slightly in his chair, eyes wide, mouth hanging open slightly. He's silent for a moment, frozen, as Jack looks down at the desk and traces a pattern on it with his finger, and then Alex makes a conscious effort to shut his mouth. "Oh my...Oh my goodness. I...I didn't know -"

"I know you didn't know," Jack half smiles. "I never told you, did I? I was in freshman year. It was a sophomore, so the year above me. He and his friends invited me over to his house for pizza and coke. I didn't know them that well, but thought it sounded okay...didn't turn out so great, in the end. It never went as far as sex, but...got kind of close. I mean, it damaged me, of course. So on some level, I can sympathise with Mike. I can imagine what it's done to his self-esteem, his self-worth, his confidence...and his assault was violent and didn't stop at assault, it went to rape as well. He must really be suffering...is he very different? The few times we talked he was always so bubbly."

Alex wraps a comforting arm around Jack's shoulders and rubs his arm, not quite knowing how to respond immediately, and I feel pretty sorry for him. This is a lot to take in in one conversation. "It's like someone replaced my brother with a very bad, cheaply made, poorly functioning copy," I tell him. "He's just...lost everything. I'm so angry, because he's always been sunshine and how dare someone take that away from him? How dare they tune that out?"

"Totally."

"He's like a ghost," I shake my head, and then scoff and rub my face. "God, I'm sorry guys, I'm just throwing this all at you as if -"