his plucked flower

Chapter 18: Ivy

This was everything he wished would never happen she, his girl, was terrified of him to the point of tears. She was shaking, because of him.

He quickly pulled away, watching as she quickly rubbed her aching wrists. His eyes wanted to glisten with the need to produce tears but he wouldn't let them. He didn't want to ever be weak.

"I'm so sorry baby."

His hand raised wanting to caress her cheek but she immediately flinched and pushed herself harder against the wall. He couldn't stop the tears this time as they slipped down his cheeks and he pathetically let them.

"I didn't mean any harm. I just- I don't know. I just grew mad." He took a shaky breath in. "I came to talk to you. Please, just hear me out."

Lillian shook her head, her tears free falling. She bit her lip, preventing herself from saying anything. Her heart was pounding against her chest wanting to break free and escape this nightmare.

"I messed up. The moment I saw you in that coffee shop I just- I didn't want to lose you just as I found you. And, baby, I truly wish I just manned up and told you then we won't be here."

Her eyes looked down before re-meeting with his. "Axel, first you turn everyone against me, then beat me up, then lie about every single thing-"

"Not everything. I never lied when I said I loved you."

"I'm not going to be your stupid toy Axel! Just stop with these jokes! It's getting old!" she cried, her cheeks soaking with tears that glistened in the living room light. Her teeth clenching so hard she swears her jaw cracks for a moment.

"It's not a joke. I promise, baby."

"Stop fucking calling me that!" Lillian hissed.

"Don't say that word, you don't say those words." He frowned, the sound of the word coming out of her red lips made his stomach churn.

"Maybe I've changed, Axel! Maybe I'm not that stupid innocent girl you think you love!"

"You didn't change, baby. I know you better than you do yourself. Everything is just getting to you and you don't know what to do. You're freaking out, you're scared. You think the world is punishing you for just existing but baby it isn't." Lillian gulped. "If anything I'm the one who changed. I'm not that stupid naive little boy anymore."

"What are you going to do to me?" Lillian whispered, her thoughts taking her back to the knowledge of his crimes.

"I'm not going to do anything. I just want a second chance-"

"Oh, I've given you plenty," Lillian said with a cracky voice, her tears getting to her.

"I was an idiot back then."

"Okay, then. If you're so keen on getting me back tell me what do you work as?" Lillian inwardly patted herself on the back.

She knew he'd lie, she was certain of it. If he wanted her back he wasn't going to tell her he was a criminal. She was testing him, not because she was going to give him a second chance but for the laugh it would emit.

"I'm no good man," Axel whispered.

"What do you work as?" Lillian hissed, fighting the urge to slap the torn look on his face, she knew it was all an act, a joke, a mere sense of entertainment for him.

"I'm a- I'm not a CEO," Axel quickly concluded.

"I figured."

"Uh." Axel scratched the back of his neck feeling frazzled. "I'm sorry."

Lillian let a bitter laugh slip past the seal of her lips. "Of course, you're not going to tell me. You're just a-"

"I work in a group with 'bad' people. It's no place for you, and I'll keep you safe from it I swear to it. I'm not a good man. I know, trust me I know, I'm supposed to be behind bars. I know I'm supposed to live a life all alone, but-"

He took a shaky breath in and took a step forward, not missing the frightened look on her face. His hand reached forward and planted itself on her cheek, caressing it. "As I said, I'm not a good man. I want you, and I'm going to fight for you. I know how to love you and I can promise you not a single person on this earth would ever know how to love you like I can. I'm going to cherish you. I'm not going to stop until you forgive me. You're mine, baby... even if I don't deserve you. But even that just shows me I have to work harder to love you, it doesn't discourage me."

Lillian stared up at the eyes that we're looking at her expectantly. It was as if every cell in her body froze, every atom of the things around her froze, the air chilled as if waiting for their next movements.

Lillian's heart was pounding. It believed him, every sentence, every word, every letter it hung onto. It was beating so hard as if wanting to jump of her chest and go to his, conjoining with his heart and nuzzling in the vacant space reserved just for it.

A/N

Hey, you guys. I'm torn. I have two book ideas and I don't know which I wanna do first or both at the same time. Also, outlining is hard. I barely outlined this book I just filled a page up with tons and tons of little tidbits but I wanna do my next book right and make a proper outline. But oh well we'll see how it goes. How's your day going?

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