i like me better when i'm with you 🌌

Chapter 5

*millie's pov*
I nod at kian and takes in how handsome he is. he's 24 now and he definitely looks like a man. of course I still follow him on twitter and Instagram, we texted a few times but nothing serious. he decided it was not going anywhere.. I knew he looked even hotter three years later but I didn't expect him to look that good. ugh, who am i kidding? it's kian lawley for christ's sake. he has even more tattoos now, so do I, but they fit on his body so perfectly. I should be mad at him, I should be heartbroken, I should never want to talk to him again. but I can't. kian was once my anchor, my sunlight, my everything, he still is, but something is different since that day in 2018.
***
after our night out at the beach, which ended in his room with a full-on makeout session, I was hooked on this man. I never knew kian could like someone like me, I had been following him and jc online for a few months. I fell in love with those two crazy boys, but kian stirred up something inside me everytime he smiled. I knew it wasn't anything out of a fantasy, I was sure there would be a connection when i'd meet him. and there was. the next day, the girls and I were shopping at the grove, when I got a call from him.
'hey' I aswered
'hey beautiful' I smiled at his answer, shea and goldie looking at me as I talk on the phone. 'what can i do for you, handsome?'
'you look amazing today, maybe grab a coffee with me?' I frowned and looked around, the girls doing the same because he was on speaker.
'w-what?' I felt arms wrap around my waist and I squealed as he lifts me up
'gotcha!' I giggled and look at him
'creep. you know that's not the way to flirt with girls' he smirked at me and jc and bobby arrived, they hugged the girls and walked into a store, leaving me and kian alone.
'sorry. you looked too beautiful, i had to hug you' I raised my eyebrow at him and tugged on my sleeves.
'why don't you hug me properly?' I smiled at him and giggled as he wrapped his arms around my waist again, I wrapped mine around his neck as we hugged tight. he peppered my neck with kisses and I ran my hand through his hair. 'hi' I purred and pulled away
'that's better' he grinned at me, taking my hand and we walked to the coffee shop.
***
'millie?' I blink a few times and snap out of my daydream, kian looking at me with a confused look.
'you okay?'
's-sorry, i got distracted' I laugh softly and bite my lip
'by what?' he smiles at me, playing with the ring on his finger.
'um.. i was thinking about.. when we first met' I smile sadly at him and sigh.
'mills..' he frowns and I look at him
'okay so. i'm listening, kian' I moved to sit against the headboard, looking at him.
*kian's pov*
here we go. she's looking at me with those eyes, I need to start talking.
'alright..' I move to sit next to her and she tugs on her sleeves, I've always loved how she's so into sweaters and hoodies like me.
'i'm sorry, again. i fucked up, i know i did' I'm fumbling with the hem of my shirt as I talk
'you need to believe me when i say i've always loved you. i always have. i-if i could come back on my decision, i would. it was the worst mistake i've ever done' I look at her and she's already tearing up
'millie i hate myself for hurting you, you deserve the world. i loved you the second i met you, i don't know why i did what i did. but.. if i could get a second chance, i-i promise i'd do anything to make you happy' she looks at me and sniffles, wiping her cheek with the sleeve of her sweater.
'i hate seeing you sad..' she bites her lip and keeps looking at me
'you really hurt me, kian.. but you know i can't fucking resist you. i need time to think.. i don't even know if what you're saying is real' I sigh and shake my head
'i'm- i'm not lying, i'm not doing this to hurt you more, millie. i swear, what i said back then was a lie, i.. i don't mean any of these words. please, mills.. believe me, think about when we met. didn't i show you i loved you?' she frowns at me
'i don't even know what to believe anymore, kian. you LIED to me. i trusted you, kian.' she moves to sit on her legs, her hands gesturing at me
'you were here having a good time, i was back in canada, sad and alone. YOU thought it was the right thing to do, to tell me you met someone, that she was the right person for you, not me. i can't believe you'd think i'd come back running to you' she stands up and starts pacing in the room
'i was all alone, crying every damn day, kian. because of you.' she looks at me and wipes her cheeks again
'i hated you. i still do. but i fucking loved you since the day my eyes met yours, you made me so happy kian' she starts breathing heavily and I stand up, walk over to her and take her in my arms. I realize i'm crying too and I whisper in her hair
'i'm so fucking sorry, millie. please believe me'
*millie's pov*
I can smell his cologne, his arms around me make me feel safe, and I can't stop hugging him tighter. I wrap my arms around his neck and sob
'i l-love you, k-kian' 'i love you so much, millie. i'm sorry, please give me another chance to show you i love you. i'll do anything' he looks at me and wipes the tears away from my cheeks with his thumbs.
'you're so beautiful, you deserve so much more than tears on your cheeks. i'm such an asshole' I frown and sniffle, pulling away a bit and look up at him
'you're not an asshole. you're the most amazing man i've met. you just.. got scared, i guess?' he nods and sighs
'i wasn't ready for all the love you gave me.. i-i panicked, millie please forgive me' I look down and nuzzles into his chest, sighing as he holds me close.
'i missed you so fucking much, kian' he lifts up my chin with his finger and stares into my eyes 'i missed everything about you, i realized i lost the most precious thing in my life.' he runs his thumb across my lips and I feel goosebumps form on my skin.
'i missed seeing your beautiful face when i woke up in the morning, i missed hearing your voice every time we facetimed, i missed your lips on mine.. and your hands in mine' I sniffle and smile at him
'i missed all of that too. i missed your smile so much. i-i need time though.. give me time to get used to you again' he leans in, kissing the corner of my lips
'okay.' he whispers and I gulp. 'take all the time you need.' he says against my lip and I close my eyes, leaning in and kissing him slowly, resting my hands on the back of his neck.
'i missed you, baby' he whispers against my lips and I sigh, I missed his lips on mine. and the way his words would make me melt in his arms 'shhh.' I whisper against his lips and he sits down on the bed, not breaking the kiss while he pulls me gently to him. I straddle his waist and stroke his cheeks with my thumbs as he slides his tongue across my bottom lip. I whimper and open my mouth, gliding my tongue against his. my body heats up to his touch, his hands running up and down my back and sides. he grips my hips and I kiss him harder, he moans slightly in return.
'you k-know, this is taking it slow for us..' he whispers against my lips and I nod slightly, running my hands on his chest
'i know, i missed you so much' we pull away, breathing heavily, and I keep running my hands on his arms
'you're even hotter now, too' I bite my lip and I see the smirk on his face
'oh really?' he chuckles and pecks my lips
'okay let's go downstairs before you change your mind and start touching my dick' I smack his arm and laugh
'shut up! you're not that irresistible' I say and I stand up, smiling at him.