typist

03 | artificial love (because jongin doesn't seem to love him at all)

Sehun wakes up to the smell of something disgusting.

But the funny thing is, it also smells like his handy beef stock, which he actually likes, so it's a little conflicting.

He's been awake for barely a minute and he has already had to face such strange things. Honestly.

When Sehun trudges into the kitchen, his senses are assaulted with an aroma so healthy that he coughs, and wonders how long it's been since he's eaten something that isn't two-minute noodles in beef soup or take-away.

"Morning."

And there is Jongin in a pristine plain white tee and jeans, looking like he's been up for hours. He is also most likely the culprit of the soup, judging by the steaming pot on the stove.

"What did you do with my beef stock?" Sehun asks, edging over and peering into a oh-my-god-that-is-a-vegetable pot which hasn't seen the light of day since Jongin's boyfriend got his dining room renovated and took over his instead for his little dinner party.

"Vegetable stew, and rice. I also stole all your packs of ramen, including the reserve rations in your bedroom. You're going to actually cook for the next few weeks."

Sehun stabs a finger at Jongin accusingly. "I know what you're up to. You secretly hate Halmeoni Seo and the other neighbours, so now you're trying to murder her by getting me to inevitably burn down my kitchen plus half the complex while you and Kyungsoo go and make out in the back of a restaurant or something with your shady matching hoodies."

"You're an idiot. Luckily the internet loves idiots, so they'll eat it right up. Speaking of eating, here's your breakfast. A clue to what the following month is going to be like. Except think more burnt, and familiar because you'll have been staring at it for the duration in which you'll be cooking it. Yourself."

The first mouthful surprisingly does not make Sehun want to spit it back out but the carrots are a bit too squishy and have an interesting texture. He continues eating anyway because knowing Jongin, he won't let Sehun do anything until he has finished the bowl, so he does.

A thought hits him as he drops the bowl and chopsticks into the sink. "Hey, Jongin. You know I can just buy more ramen from the convenience store, right?"

Jongin grins too widely for his liking. "And Sehun, you live next door to Kyungsoo. Do you really want to die at 22?"

"How would he know?"

"I'll raid your apartment while you're sleeping and you wouldn't even know."

"Evil."

"Just considerate of your well-being. You're going to film a video today, so start cleaning up. I'll help."

And when Jongin says he'll help, Sehun translates it into "I'll do all the work" and that's exactly what happens. By the time the lounge room is pristine, it's Sehun scrolling through his newsfeed while Jongin artfully rearranges the couch he is slouched on.

"This is a one time thing," Jongin warns, and Sehun hums, completely zoned out.

"Sure."

"Alright. So should we start with a better introductory video than your last, utter screw-up?"

"I got likes! And comments!" Sehun waves his phone and points to the screen, where another notification pops up.

Jongin shakes his head. "All the likes are because of your stupid face, and the comments are all asking if you posted the vid on purpose or accidentally."

"I'm really exhausted."

"It's barely eleven in the morning."

"I need a nap. Or food. Make me something substantial, Jongin."

"Fine. We're setting up your Youtube then. Tagline, catchy user, that kind of stuff. We can do it while you're sitting down."

"Yay." Sehun is still mentally elsewhere.

Jongin takes his trustworthy clipboard out, and starts writing things again. Sehun suspects he is hoarding a secret of being admin to a studyblr type thing.

"What's your channel going to be called?"

"Idk."

"You did not just say idk to me."

Sehun grunts.

Knowing that that is just about how useful Sehun can get, Jongin logs into his own account and looks around at popular male fashion channels. After following through a few threads, he finds an account named bbheaven, which sounds vaguely familiar.

"Hey Sehun, have you heard of a bbheaven?"

"Uh? Oh yeah they commented on the video. Said I was cute or something," Sehun mumbles.

"Ah, well look, heaps of his videos are about skincare, which explains the bb thing, like bb cream. Oh wait, his name is Byun Baekhyun."

"Good job Nini."

"There's fanfansfans who does different fashion looks. Hmm, pretty cool- yah your user should be ohlooks!"

"Lame."

"Any better ideas?"

"...No."

"Then ohlooks it is. Tagline- uh that's easy. 'Your one and oh-ly fav, Sehun'. Wow your surname is real handy, 'Hun."

"Could you possibly be even cheesier than that?"

"Obviously you can't think of anything better," Jongin retorts, already logging into Sehun's account. It doesn't take a genius to guess his password ー Sehun is so lazy he hasn't changed it since Jongin's default bubbletea123.

As a interface and marketing major, Jongin is in his element fixing up things that Sehun probably will screw up which leaves almost nothing for Sehun himself to do except choosing a profile picture. That is why the icon is a derpy selca Sehun took at the hair salon, and it is entirely none of Jongin's problem.

Notifications pop up as soon as Jongin hits save changes to Sehun's bio.

parkingyeolol and teeheechulxd are following you.

parkingyeolol commented on your channel.

Jongin clicks on the notification.

parkingyeolol (23 seconds ago)
HAHAHAAA nIcE dP yO what a face i'm screaming :-o

"Why are you smiling?" Sehun whines suspiciously. He snatches the phone, reads the message and types a rapid-fire reply.

     ↳ ohlooks (1 second ago)
     thanks.
     ↳ parkingyeolol (0 seconds ago)
     you repLIED!!! :-D
     ↳ ohlooks (6 seconds ago)
     stop.
     ↳ parkingyeolol (0 seconds ago)
     :-(

"—no Sehun you can not block your first follower!"

"B-but he's annoying!"

"So are you, and I haven't blocked you yet."