After the Empire (Complete)

2 - Rowan

Let's start off with one thing really quickly, confirmations of where everyone is. Rowan is with Lorcan and Gavriel, searching for Aelin. Lysandra, Aedion, and the allies Aelin arranged are in the forests just outside Terrasen. They will factor into the story soon, but not for the moment. Manon and the rest of the thirteen + Elide + Dorian are off being in places - they might be in the story, but there will be not story line following them (Sorry!)

There, now that that's over and dealt with, onto the story.

Cradled in a tree's limbs is not the most comfortable place to sleep, but I prefer it to sleeping on the ground. Up here I have a vantage point from which to see danger, and a quick path to escape should I need it. 

Anyways, it isn't as though I would actually be sleeping anyways. I haven't slept in days. 

I can't close my eyes without seeing her face, her eyes, her wicked smile. It hurts, and I can't afford pain. I can't afford the weakness that dreams of her leave me with. This is a war. Her memory is a chink in my armor which will make me unable to save her or her country. 

So I will not sleep. 

I can control my thoughts when I'm awake. 

Most of the time. 

Gavriel's shout from below grabs my attention. I whip my head around, scenting the air for whatever it is that he has sensed approaching. In these woods it could be anything - and I don't want to be caught unawares. Finally I catch the scent of the approaching creature, and I jump down from the branches, waiting to meet him.

With a rustling of branches and leaves, Lorcan walks into the clearing.  His clothes are covered in mud and there are twigs caught in his hair. He had been gone for about the last day, scouting. 

"Anything?"

I cling to a desperate hope that maybe this time he has found something. Some grain of information, some trail sign, anything that will lead to her. Anything that will give us a direction. 

When we began this hunt we thought there would be something, that Fenrys would leave some kind of a trail, something that we could follow. We thought wrong. Either he had been prevented from leaving a trail somehow, or we weren't understanding the trail he had left. Whichever, it has left us with nothing to lead us to her. 

I stare at Lorcan, not bothering to hide my desperation. After so long, we are all desperate. It's been weeks. Weeks where she has been alone with Cairn. Weeks where he could have been doing anything to her. I can almost hear her screams. 

After a long, long pause Lorcan shakes his head. It feels like a punch to the stomach, and I can't help the furious snarl that escapes my lips. Nothing. Nothing again. 

Without a word a whirl, changing as I do. As a hawk, I lift myself back to the tree I had been perched in before Lorcan arrived. 

I want to scream. I want to kill Lorcan. I want to see the entire world burn. Because she is gone. 

She is gone and I wasn't strong enough to stop her going. 

She is gone and I am not good enough to find her. 

She is gone and she doesn't even think that we will be looking. 

She is gone and I have failed her. 

She is gone. 

The anger and pain work their way through me in waves, causing me to shake like a piece of silk in the wind. 

When they have finally passed I am left feeling empty. Empty but for the tiny thread holding me together. The thread that is the knowledge that she is not yet dead. The knowledge that she is still out there - somewhere. And I will find her. 

If I have to go to the ends of the earth, if I have to search for the rest of my immortal life, I will find her. And I will bring her back to her kingdom. Terrasen will have it's queen. 

I will not fail her again. 

Never again. 

Hey all!

Sorry about not updating for a while, I was on vacation. But I'm back now!

I hope you liked the chapter, it is the first that I've ever written from Rowan's point of view, so let me know what you think. I'm open to constructive criticism!

Anyways, don't forget to vote and comment below!