FRIDAY

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What I'm considering right now? Part of me wonders if I should even be writing it down. It means going against everything I have known, against the very way in which I have known the world to work. I means betrayal. Of Jasper, sure, and I'll lose no sleep over that. But also of Susanne. Of Mama and Pa.

Of Albert, God rest his soul.

All in the name of our Quarry.

That's how I'd have seen such thoughts even just two days ago: losing sleep over something lesser than me and mine. Something barely worth considering, let alone fretting over the feelings of. I have to acknowledge that there are differences between my two captives and I. But when I think about it even further, it seems clearer still than these differences aren't enough to truly distinguish us.

They aren't just food.

My family can't see that. Won't see that. We are the Hosts, come the time of the Feast. Every family that keeps to the True Path will be coming to this underground sanctuary to celebrate their adherence to our ways, and we will be leading it all. Nothing I can say or do is going to change them wishing to follow through on all this.

But that doesn't mean I'm going to just sit idly by. Not when two people I'm responsible for thrusting into this situation have their lives on the line.

"Your mistakes are your own", Pa always used to say, back when times were happier and we were all still together, "so own them, or they'll do as much to you."

And though you may not have meant for it to apply in this situation, Pa?

I'm sorry, but I think it does.

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