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{realistic nostalgia}

***c's pov***

I woke to the sound a the wheels screeching against the metal train tracks. we'd made it to boston and people were starting to file out of the train cart. i grabbed my bag and jumped out of the cart and immediately felt suffocated. there were thousands of people all around, busy and bustling, trying to get to their destination.

where was i going?

i never made a complete decision on where i was going, just that i needed to get out. i shouldn't have left, but it was too late to go back now.

posey had been crying when i left and it tore me apart to leave her like that, but i did. and i couldn't change the past, gosh how i wanted to change my thoughts and actions, what i had done to her.

i filed into a moving crowd of people, bumping a few elbows and catching a few glances.

i must look lost, because i got a few confused looks, but didn't acknowledge them. i needed to find a safe place to stay within a few hours; dark was approaching quickly.

why did i come out here? i told myself that i could crash with some family, but what family didn't hate me at this point? i was the black sheep of the family; no one wanted me. that's the one thing i kept from posey.

whenever p would ask about my family, i lied to her. even over the simplest of things.

one thanksgiving she asked about going to visit my family for the holiday season. i made up some lie about how they always went to england for some family tradition and just must've forgotten to invite me this year. she seemed upset, but let it slide.

when christmas came around, she asked again if i had any plans with family; i made up some wacky story that they planned to come here to see me and got stuck in boston because of the weather. boston didn't even get snow that winter.

i hated to lie to posey because she was the one person i trusted completely. but there was just something undeniably wrong about telling her the truth of my family falling-out.

long story short, i went out and partied one night and they wouldn't let me back in the house. i was drunk and they didn't like it and i decided that it was my time to leave. but it was more than that.

that night was the last straw. my parents were sick and tired of me coming in at four am on consecutive nights and having friends over for days on end that didn't know how to clean up after themselves.

to anyone but my parents, i was nice and respectful and didn't do anything wrong. at princeton, i was a straight a student and didn't get into any trouble. but that was because of posey. p made me want to better myself and throw away every horrible thing i had done in the past. and she knew it too, i told her.

posey was my saving grace and without her i'd probably be in jail or homeless by now. there's just something about her that made me want to change myself for her and to make myself more approachable.

i hadn't seen my parents since i moved to princeton and they probably appreciated my absence. they never called, but neither did i. my sister had moved to ontario years before i moved out and hadn't been back once. they were probably lonely, but i was hurt. i wasn't gonna go out of my way to make them happy again when they threw me out on my butt and never looked back. but i needed to fix it, i had to stay somewhere.

i got on a bus and went to my old neighborhood. i didn't want to face my parents, when in reality they weren't my actual parents anyways. it was my mother and my step father, with their new 'perfect child', garrett. 

i didn't have another choice.

i walked up onto the porch and knocked twice on the door. garrett came to the door.

"hello?" he said to me in confusion.

"hey, garrett," i said trying to lighten the mood. he looked at me like i was insane. he continued to slam the door in my face and i could hear him screaming to someone inside the house that there was a creepy emo kid outside that knew his name and he wasn't going to let him in. i could hear nathan talking to garrett and saying that he needed to go open the door and let me in.

"i'm not letting in some creepy emo kid, from who knows where, into the house, dad, come on," garrett told my step father. i had to hand it to garrett, i was wearing all black, but dear gosh, what was happened to these kid's brains nowadays.  i heard nathan sigh loudly and push in the recliner he was most likely sitting in. a few seconds later nathan opened up the door.

"Char?" nathan was floored with seeing me on his front porch. i couldn't tell if he was surprised to see me or if he was going to punch me in the face. preparing for the latter, i took my hands out of my pockets.

"hey nathan, how's it going?" i tried to act civil, when that was the last thing i wanted to do. i'd really like to punch in his teeth, but what kind of example would that set for garrett. i was letting these thoughts consume me when i though, when did i care what some ten year old thought of me?  

when i was raising my hand to punch the crap out of this jerk that ruined my life, i heard my mother's voice, "char?" i lowered my fist.