Broken Strings

C H A P T E R E L E V E N

Because it had been.

By the man she had least expected it from.

And because of that, Amanda Lewis learned to never show anyone her weaknesses. She learned to always have her guard up, to always be one step ahead.

It was always about what people could do for her. It was about what money could do. And it was about what associating with people like Andrew could do for her. It was about perception, about what people thought of her.

And she never truly let anyone in. Except him.

Falling in love was always out of question.

A small tear slowly slid down her cheek. And she knew her heart was seconds from being broken again. Even though she had promised to never let anyone ever break it again.

Because he didn't love her. He never had and never would. She had always known this but still, she willingly accepted his affection. She willingly warmed his bed for him. She willingly stayed with him, refusing to acknowledge the fact that she was no different from her step-mother.

The step-mother that had torn her family apart.

Because Amanda would never forget the day her father left, the day her father left her mother, brother and her for a younger woman. Because Amanda still remembered the very day. Because that was the day her heart had first been broken, by the man she had least expected it from.

But she had let Andrew into her heart. Sure, it had been purely lust at first. But somewhere along the lines, she fell in love with him.

Because behind the cold and rude façade was a sweet and considerate guy. And when she truly saw that, she realized the reason why Anisha hadn't given up on him.

It was because Andrew Hayes was worth fighting for. But pain and loss had been him bitter.

And she didn't want to lose him. She wanted him, for herself. She wanted him to love her, only her.

She finally wiped the tears and looked up at him. Guilt. It was clear on his face.

But she wasn't really sure what he was feeling guilty about.

Was it because he had strung her along and had no real feelings towards her or because he had cheated on the woman he loved? And somewhere deep in her heart, she knew it was the second option.

"There's a difference between caring for someone and loving someone. You can care for me but you'll never love me the way you love her. That's what it's always been. Hasn't it?" And she knew this was true. She always had.

"Ama- " And his voice was strained. As if he was tired. And he really was. He was simply tired of all of it.

"Don't. Don't you dare fucking deny it. It's the truth. You can tell me you hate her and don't want her all you want. But I know. I fucking know. Why else were you staring at her all night when she wasn't even looking at you? Why were you getting jealous when Sebastian was flirting with her? And how the fuck are you gonna deny the way you were holding her when you danced with her? You look at her like she's walking on some fucking red carpet." She was practically screaming now. Begging that he would pick her, pick her over his wife.

She was practically begging and screaming for him to not break her heart. She wanted him to give her a chance. She wanted him to give them a chance.

"You'll never look at me the way you look at her. And I know you'll never want me the way you still want her." Her lips quivered and her makeup smeared as she voiced her deepest desires. "I want someone to want me. I want someone to love me the way you love her. I want to get married. I want kids and a family. I want a husband who comes home to me every night. I love you Andrew. And I want you to love me." Amanda wiped the tears away and looked into his dark blue eyes, smiling softly as her heart broke, pleading with him to tell her that it was her that he loved.

But he didn't.

He just simply stood and stared at her as she rummaged through her golden-colored purse and pulled out a business card.

"Here, it's my sister's card. She's a divorce lawyer." And for the first time that night, her voice held a hint of hope. Because maybe, just maybe he would choose her over his wife. Just maybe, he would leave Anisha for her.

And Amanda Lewis would finally be the first choice.

Because she was the one he loved, not his wife. He had stopped loving his wife a long time ago.

"I just want to be with you. I want you. I want us." And she really did. Because Amanda Lewis was unequivocally, very much, so in love with Andrew Hayes. And she wanted nothing more than to be his.

"I'm sick of being the second choice. I don't want to be the second choice anymore. I want to be the first choice for once, I want to be your first choice." Tears streamed down her face but she still smiled and hoped he would pick her. He would pick her. He would confess that it was her that he wanted, not his wife.

"You need to choose. Who is it going to be Andrew? Me or her?"

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Sighs loudly. I don't really have anything to say. So.......... Bye.

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