Broken Strings

C H A P T E R E L E V E N

"I...I just thought we would. We've been together for a long time. I want a family and I want to get married." Amanda frowned slightly, but what else had she expected? Especially since she was the one who had fallen in love in a married man.

She had set herself up to get her heart broken. She had fallen in love with a man who had no space for her in his heart. And she had always known Anisha Hayes would be his first choice, always. Anisha Hayes would always be the woman to hold his heart.

Because Amanda had always noticed. It was Anisha he had always wanted.

Because Amanda always noticed. She always noticed the silver photo frame with his wife's picture placed in the corner of his desk, and how he would smile slightly to himself whenever his gaze fell on the picture. She always noticed how his dull eyes would brighten whenever she talked or smiled and how he was always staring at her whenever she was around, like she was the only person in the room. And the way he looked at her, Amanda could never forget that. Because he looked at her like she was all he cared about. He looked at her like she was all he had ever wanted.

And it was always Anisha he wanted, he always had.

But Amanda also noticed how he always looked away before Anisha could catch him staring. She noticed how easily he could push his emotions down and rebuild the cold façade. And Amanda also noticed how little Anisha seemed to know about how much he cared about her. Because sometimes, it seemed like Amanda was the one he cared about.

And right now, Amanda certainly hoped that was the case.

Because she wanted him to pick her this time.

Because she didn't want to be the second choice anymore.

But she was afraid, because for him, just like she had been while growing up, she would always be the second option. Her voice was now hard. And she wanted him to tell her that it was her he wanted, not his wife. "And quite honestly, I'm getting sick of your bullshit. You pick her over me every fucking time. I want to be someone's number one choice. I want to be your number one choice."

"Fuck Amanda. Not this again. I've told you before I'm not leaving her especially since my kids are still little. Ryan and Mira need a family and they need both parents. And I do care about you, I really do." But he cared about Anisha more. Ryan and Mira needed her but he needed her more than anyone else.

And for the first time, Andrew was afraid of losing Anisha. Because she was the one he truly cared about and loved.

But Amanda had been around, especially when Anisha pulled away from him, completely. And he did care about Amanda, care about her as a friend.

But he didn't love her. He never had.

Because the only woman he had truly loved, he had hurt. He wasn't even sure if Anisha would ever forgive him. And he just wasn't sure she would even consider giving him another chance.

But he hoped she would. He certainly hoped she would.

Amanda shook her head in disbelief. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. She hadn't wanted to fall in love with him.

But she had.

And now, she was afraid. Because she wasn't sure if he loved her back.

"Don't you want me? You care about me but do you love me?" And for the first time, Amanda let someone see how weak and afraid she really was.

Because behind the bright cherry lipstick and the highlighted blonde hair was a woman who had her own insecurities of not being good enough. A woman who kept her heart guarded for the fear of getting it broken.