I was never American. I mean it's true, you never were. But what was that supposed to mean? "Miles!" my mom called me. "Yeah?" I answered. She didn't say anything. "Yes mom!?" I yelled. Still nothing. I walked down to the kitchen to see what she wanted. I found my mom exactly where I looked. "Yes ma?" She was in the process of making dinner. She started to speak but didn't make eye contact. "Pattie and Justin are coming over for dinner in a hour. Noah is gone to her friends, so it's just us." I think everything went through one ear and out the other because all I heard was your name. "You heard me?" she asked. I cleared my throat, "Uh okay."
Don't think I'm innocent because I'm not. And for some reason after I heard your name, Justin, erotic images kept playing in my head of all the things we could do. Every way I could take you and how your tight your grip would be on my thighs as you thrusted deeply into me. Just thoughts. I wanted you in every way possible mind, heart, body, and soul. But for now, just dinner.
An hour later exactly my doorbell rung. My heartbeat became out of rhythm and I haven't even seen your face. I attempted to casually sit on the couch as if your presence wasn't going to affect me when you walked through the door. "Pattie," I over heard my mom say. "Tish!" she giggled. "Ah Mr. Bieber all cleaned up, nice cut. And all those tattoos. I didn't notice those on New Year's Eve." I noticed. My mom went on. I heard them enter the living room and I literally stopped breathing. "Well, uh I was wearing long sleeves," is what you told her. I turned around and my eyes met yours. Your broke the gaze and looked away. "Hi Pattie," I said. She gave me the warmest smile ever, "Give me a hug Miley!" She held her arms out. I got off the couch and moved to her. She pulled me in tight and released me. "Justin," I managed to say. You nodded your head. "Dinner?" my mom asked. "Please," I hurried to the dining room.
It was awkward, everything about this. I played with my fork in my ziti. I ate, but I wasn't so hungry for food. I was hungry for you. You sat across from me doing the same, but only I was thinking about you. "You feel better from the other day?" Pattie asked me. "Why were you running so fast?" she continued. I looked over at her, how I wish I had a twix. I bit my lip and
you shifted in your seat. "I didn't even notice until I couldn't breathe, I don't know... I was just running," I lied. "And Justin was just there?" "I guess."
This was torture.
"I want some ice cream," Pattie eyed my mom. "Yeah me too," she grinned. Pattie left the dining room and went into the kitchen. Moments later she came back. She looked at me weird and then she looked at you, Justin. "You don't have any," she smiled. "Well, then I guess we'll have to go get some. Miley, Justin, stay here. We'll be back." And just like that they were gone. If I knew any better our moms were playing match makers.
You stood up and started to clean off the table. You snatched up the plates off the table. You mumbled some words under your breath and of course I was curious. "Excuse me?" I said. You looked up at me and rolled your beautiful hazel eyes. "Nothing," you spat. And you walked into the kitchen. "Don't walk away from me Justin!" I called after you. So much tension as built up inside me since New Years, it's about that time. Dishes crashed into the sink. "Justin!" I stomped into the kitchen.
"You fucked another guy in my room Miley!" You slammed your hands on the sink and stormed back in the dining room. I followed you. "Are you sure about that? Are you really sure?" I got in your face. "That's what he said." You shrugged. "So now you just go by what other people say? You don't trust my word anymore? Why do you even care? Huh?" I went to go push you but you caught my hand by my wrist. "Miley, stop it," you ordered. I started to cry. "No, cause I've had enough of this!" I circled my hands around trying to gesture this. "This silence, not talking, not seeing you," I paused. "Justin, I miss you," I finally confessed it.
"Then why'd you almost fuck someone in my room? That's not what friends do!" Your skin turned a light shade of red and I was pushing you to your limit. "I don't know! Maybe just for once in my life I needed neck kisses and someone to touch me!" My cheeks burned from my tears. "You don't need that Miley!" you yelled. "Oh so I need rejection and pain?" I asked. "No that's not what I'm saying!" I'm falling apart in front of you I can't keep myself together anymore. You've been gone for so long all I want is you back. All I need is you back. "Then what are you saying Justin?" You looked away from me as if you were searching for the answer.
"I don't know Miley," you paused, "I'm saying I..."
