The Last Restart (script)

Omnigod of Suffering

(Finlay wakes up in a black void)
Finlay: You love this don't you...
Lord Xeyutryx: Why would I be doing this if I wasn't.
Finlay: You seem to have forgotten something when planning this out. With every restart I gain more knowledge and understanding of your weaknesses.
Lord Xeyutryx: Yes it may seem that way, but here's the catch. I'm A dang God!
Finlay: Dang, is that the strongest word you could've used?
Lord Xeyutryx: Listen, I'm trying to stay true to my new years resolution. Mind my language.
Finlay: You're an Omnigod, swearing shouldn't be a proble-. Why am I even talking to you about this.
Lord Xeyutryx: Fair enough, I'm a busy man as it is, do just enter the portal for number 537.
Finlay: You know what, I'm going to challenge you again.
Lord Xeyutryx: Alright, I'm done to that.
Finlay: Really?
Lord Xeyutryx: Yeah sure, any chance I get to see your ass getting kicked I'll take.
Finlay: I've had a few years to learn a few new moves from then.
(Finlay walks through the portal)
(Xeyutryx looks left to right)
(Xeyutryx slowly places his headphones in his ears)
(He starts playing Misirlou)

THE THE MOVIE

(An opening credits with dancing skeletons that goes on for around 2 minutes)
( Misirlou stops playing)
(Finlay's house, 4:30 AM)
Evan: Fin, what are you doing it's half four in the morning.
Finlay: Go back to sleep it will save you time. Trust me.
Evan: After I get some rest can you just tell me why you've been acting so different and well... active recently. If you need to talk to me about something I'm always here to help.
Finlay: Don't worry I'm in control. Now if you could let me have my morning meditation that would be nice.
Evan: Ok just keep the noice down.
Finlay: What noice? I'm meditating for christ sake.
(Evan leaves the room)          
Finlay: One thing I've learnt is to never take advice from an Evan.
(Finlay starts lifting some weights).
Finlay: So you're probably wondering what happened back there. Well I can't say much but... I have repeated the life cycle a number of 536 times after a tragic incident that happened and any attempt to end this suffering has ended in immediate Failure!
(Breathes heavily)
Finlay: Man, the fourth wall always helps me get that stuff off my mind. Thanks guys. You know what else does, some tunes.
(The Power of Love starts playing)
(Finlay starts punching a sand bag)
Finlay: I'm sure that part doesn't matter I know y'all are probably more excited to learn that It's finally here. The first published issue of my passion project. The Legend of Spoon Man. It took a lot of time and dedication but it's finally here. Nah, im just messing with you I'll tell you the juicy bits. But still if you have some time check it out.
(Finlay is eating breakfast)
Finlay: Everytime I die I get reincarnated again with all my past memories into the same life. There is only one difference you will learn from my life now to my old life and hey you and the others may learn that little secret of mine today.
(Finlay begins practicing his telekinesis)
Finlay: You may think reliving life over and over again would get boring and you are partially right. When you have people repeating the same jokes and stories over and over again it can get very tedious.
(Finlay begins to inject himself with some strange needles).
Finlay: But with all this time you have the opportunity to have over 300 careers, over 100 wives, watched nearly 10,000 movies, explored every region of the world, killed Osama Bin Ladin, Twice, won an Oscar, start 5 religions under the name 'snake farts', convinced the whole world that the Mayan calendar predictions were right and make a 30 foot statue of Disco Stu from the Simpsons... (heavy breathing) And now I am ready.
(The power of love stops playing)
(The doorbell rings)
(Finlay opens the door)
Finlay: Oh hi Tom
Tom: (Heavy Breathing) I wake up at 5 in the morning get passed my parents and attempt to cycle all the way here and thats all you have to say! "Oh hi Tom"!
Finlay: I would thank you but it depends, do you have the spell book.
Tom: You mean my ship book.
Finlay: Yeah the thing that loses my chances with any women.
Tom: Why wouldn't I take it with me? And why do you care if I have it? And you what?
Finlay: Cause I have a score to settle.
Tom: You don't mean Jade Cliffs.
Finlay: We don't talk about that piece of normie trash! Besides, it's someone a lot more sinister than that.
Tom: Bin Ladin again?
Finlay: We already killed Bin Ladin when we where five.
Tom: Cyborg Ladin?
Finlay: Just wait and see when we get there. Did you bring the boom box
Tom:Ye boi
Finlay:Beach Boys?
(Tom lowers his sunglasses to his eyes from his forehead)
Tom: You bet
(I get around by The Beach Boys begins to play)
(Dylan and Steffan are waiting at the bridge)
Dylan: Explain to me why we're here in the morning when most teens/tweens are asleep during these hours.
Steffan: My instincts detect there is a battle that is waiting to begin in this area. I sense a fight with an old friend/enemy. A great opportunity for a sparing match.
Dylan: Oh, come on you do know this is the same area Fin lives.
Steffan: Naive younling the power of a fighters instinct is there strongest weapon.
Dylan: Stop trying to act like an anime character just cause you have a few powers. Which I have similar powers to you.
(Steffan looks down at Dylan).
Steffan: Soon I will become the strongest fighter and you will bow down to me to get only a slight amount of my respect.
(Dylan rolls his eyes)
(Cut back to Tom and Finlay lip syncing the lyrics to the song)
(Tom and Finlay arrive at the scene and Tom turns the music off)
Steffan: I knew a fight was just around the corner, but who would expect it to be a rematch with you.
Finlay: We both agreed to arrive here for a sparing match.
Steffan: You really are quite confident for a fight that will finally end in your defeat.
Finlay: Stop trying to act like a badass and act like a badass.
Tom: You tell him
Dylan: Tom you're holding a boombox and wearing sunglasses.
Finlay: C'mon, you know insulting Tom to win an argument is like insulting a mentally handicapped child.
Tom: I'm contemplating agreeing with that statement.
Steffan: Enough! If a fight is what you want its what you'll get.
Finlay: Tom, get The Transformers Movie Soundtrack ASAP.
Tom: Oh, you mean buisness.
(Dare to be Stupid begins to play).
(Finlay and Steffan engage in hand to hand combat as Finlay bites Steffan's arm).
Steffan: (Painful Squeal). I see your trying to play dirty. But I can do the same back.
Finlay: Naive little boy. I have just absorbed the electricity within you.
Steffan: That doesn't even make sen-
(Finlay electrocutes Steffan)
(Steffan does that Jojo punch thing)
Finlay: You've found my weakness. Weebs.
Steffan: Ka... Me!
Finlay: Oh no! The cringe
Steffan: Ha... Me!
Finlay: (Painful coughs) It's too much.
Dylan: Just move out of the way it's not that cringe.
Steffan: Ha!!!
(Steffan shoots a Kamehameha wave)
Finlay: Anime is just Japanese cartoons!
(The Kamehameha wave disappears)
Steffan: Oh no! The power of true facts is hurting my powers. I must use my reinforcement.
Finlay: A lightsaber?
(Steffan begins striking at Finlay with his lightsaber)
Tom: Do you ever feel like getting involved in all of this.
Dylan: Nah I think it ruins the magic and beauty of all these fights.
Tom: Agreed
(Steffan jumps to the high ground)
Steffan: I have the high ground Anakin
Finlay: Can you actually think of any creative catchphrases or attacks.
Steffan: Fine. I'll use one of my most defining traits... Prepare yourself for The Gingering!
Finlay: How can you power that attack without a soul.
Tom: That meme is deader than Dylan's ice puns.
Dylan: Understandable.
Finlay: How am I even hitting you. Your a ghost... C'mon has anyone got anything.
(Dylan and Steffan shake their heads)
Finlay: You-your so ginger that you look forw-.
(Finlay gets blasted by the beam)
(Dare to be Stupid stops playing)
Steffan: More of a challenge then you thought
Finlay: Not really. The power of the ugliest natural hair color has near to zero effect on you. To make matters worse ginger hair dye powers are practically useless.
Steffan: How did you find out!?
Finlay: Wow instead of standing your ground you went and admitted it. But, don't worry. I and the rest of us don't care what hair color you have.
Steffan: Wow. Your the first person to make me feel comfortable being an albino from birth.
(Everyone begins to uncontrollably burst into laughter)
Finlay: The ginger material was really running thin. Now we have whole new material to use.
Tom: I'm imagining it now, this is gold.
Steffan: Fine I accept my defeat
Dylan: (Albino pun)
(A strange noise is heard in the distance)
(Everybody stops laughing)
Tom: What was that?
Steffan: I sense the power of something other worldly. Stronger then anything Iv'e felt before.
Tom: Stronger then the burns we're going to be laying on you.
Steffan: At least I don't have to worry about birds laying eggs in my hair.
Dylan: Don't you think we should be a little more worried about the giant black beacon just over there.
Tom: Good Thinking.
Dylan: If only someone with common sense had these powers.
(The beacon begins to form a portal)
Steffan: Stay strong everyo-. Wait where's Fin gone?
(Bagan's theme begins to play)
(Xeyutryx exits the portal)
Xeyutryx: It is I. The thing that has caused you this ever living pain and agony. The one who has cursed you to a life of misery. It is I, that will cause, your end.
Dylan: Didn't catch your name?
(Xeyutryx looks at the boys)
(Bagan's theme stops playing)
Xeyutryx: Where's Fin?
Tom: Bailed on us.
Xeyutryx: Wow, what a dick. (Whispers) Dang that's another one for the swear jar.
Steffan: Whenever a situation doesn't matter to him he just bails on us.
Xeyutryx: Sorry I must've been being so rude I haven't introduced my self, Xeyutryx Omnigod of suffering. Nice to meet you.
Tom: Tom, proffesianal shipper.
Steffan: The name's Steffan the... powerful... I guess.
Dylan: Did he just say Omnigod of Suffering?
Xeyutryx: I can tell we'll all get along. But since your working with Fin and he's not around...
Steffan: Tom where's the music box?
Tom: Back at the bridge.
Steffan: Go ge-.
(Xeyutryx uppercuts Steffan)
Dylan: What killed the dinosaurs?
Xeyutryx: (Sigh) The ice a-.
Dylan: THE ICE AGE!!!
(Dylan freezes Xeyutryx's face)
(Steffan kicks Xeyutryx in the face)
Steffan: Tom! Pick something quick.
Tom: I think I got it
(Surfin' Bird begins to play)
Dylan: You kidding me?
Tom: I haven't seen the Family Guy episode yet so it isn't ruined for me yet.
Xeyutryx: Death-zooka!
(Xeyutryx launches a dark missile towards Dylan)
(Dylan encases himself in a frozen shield)
(Steffan begins a fist fight with Xeyutryx)
Xeyutryx: So I'd like to say I don't have a lot of time on my hand so how many transformations or hidden potential we'll have to go through?
Steffan: We've only had these powers for 2 years so none... I think.
Xeyutryx: They're always unsure.
(Xeyutryx slaps Steffan to the side)
Xeyutryx: Increase power by 50%!!!
Tom: Everyone stay close he's to strong for just one of us.
(Xeyutryx strikes at all 3 of the boys)
(Xeyutryx shoots a beam at the boombox destroying it)
Steffan: Finally
Tom: You crossed a thin line that you shouldn't have crossed prepare for my Inferno Rage!
(Tom charges towards Xeyutryx)
(Xeyutryx flicks Tom out of the way)
Steffan: Tom!
Dylan: (chuckles to himself)
(Xeyutryx picks up Tom's ship book)
Xeyutryx: So this is the ship book he's been telling me about.
Tom: Not the ship book
Xeyutryx: Are you serious? It says Finylan.
Steffan: I wrote that.
Dylan: And the 5000 word fan fic you wrote.
Stefan: You read it all? It was copypasta where I just copy and pasted you and Fin's name.
Dylan: Not the worst half an hour I've wasted.
Xeyutryx: You know what this isn't that funny since I don't know any of your friends. So.......
(Xeyutryx incinerates Tom's ship book)
(Tom enters an unstable fury)
Tom: (Pterydactyl scream). I will end you!!!
(Tom shoots lasers out of his eyes)
(Xeyutryx is not affected by the laser and continues walking forward)
(Xeyutryx flicks Tom knocking him out of his fury)
Xeyutryx: Really. This is the worst that Finlay has to offer. 2 maggots and the definition of a human abomination.
Steffan: Wow! Just cause he's Asian
Dylan: What? You know I'm not even Asian. Also, it's obviously Tom.
Xeyutryx: Wait, what's an Asian? Like I didn't mean to offend anyone.
Dylan: Oh don't worry I know you didn't mean it like that.
Xeyutryx: No it's my fault I should be more well educated.
Finlay: Ha! You've had the appetiser. Now time for the main course. Prepare to meat your match. (Whispers to himself) Perfect Timing.
Steffan: Were the hell where you?
Finlay: Well since this fight decides my destiny I can't help but have a dramatic intro. Speaking of which.
(Moskau begins to play)
(Finlay dramatically and slowly walks towards Xeyutryx)
Xeyutryx: Can you do anything without music.
Finlay: Now, where's the fun in that.
(Finlay and Xeyutryx both strike at eachother)
(Finlay attempts to bite Xeyutryx but Xeyutryx pushes him back)
Xeyutryx: Ha ha! I don't even have electricity flowing through me.
Finlay: Nope, but you're bleeding.
Xeyutryx: Oh. BoomeRang Blade!
(Finlay dodges the blade)
(They both take to the skies to continue duelling)
(Moskau stops playing)
Dylan: Well I think we've officially become useless in this fight. You alright Tom?
Tom: (Mumbles 'Finland' under his breath)
Steffan: Hey I found one of his cd's.
Dylan: Which one.
Steffan: Transformers movie soundtrack?
Dylan: I know a good track to go along with this.
Steffan: Are we just going to leave Tom here?
Dylan: Yes.
Steffan: Eh...
Xeyutryx: It's funny... I'm only at half power and I still have the upper hand.
Finlay: What makes you think I don't have any tricks up my sleeve.
Xeyutryx: Great another dozen forms and haircuts to go through.
Finlay: No transformations... Just a cap.
(Finlay puts the cap on as Dare begins to play)
(Finlay summons a giant spoon)
Xeyutryx: What's up with the spoon. Like when was that apart of your aesthetic?
Finlay: What's up with anime villain look?
Xeyutryx: Too shay.
(Finlay slams Xeyutryx into the ground and slashes at him)
Xeyutryx: Watch me switch into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!
(Xeyutryx head butts Finlay)
(Xeyutryx summons a lightsaber)
(Both of the blades collide as Finlay's spoon falls apart)
Finlay: Damn I was planning on casting a spell to turn him into the Legendary Spoon Man
Steffan: Fin! Take mine.
(Finlay takes the Lightsaber as him and Xeyutryx begin to duel)
(Finlay pushes his hand forward)
Xeyutryx: Just cause you have a lightsaber does not mean you can manipulate the force.
Finlay: Name someone who wields a lightsaber and dosen't use the force.
Xeyutryx: Ummmm... me?
(Finlay force pushes Xeyutryx)
(Xeyutryx throws his saber towards Finlay but he catches it)
(Finlay pins Xeyutryx to the ground with the sabers)
Xeyutryx: Go on, do it. See what difference it makes to the curse. If it dosen't work you just killed the only way to find clues on how to remove it.
Finlay: You honestly think I'm that thick.
Xeyutryx: Yes.
(Finlay looks behind himself to find a huge laser pointing towards him)
Finlay: Well played.
(It slams into Finlay)
(Dare stops playing)
(Xeyutryx holds Finlay up by his neck)
Xeyutryx: Just because my physical form's a little out of shape dosen't mean I'm not a god.
Finlay: Give me... all... of your... Electricity!!!
Dylan: How? Do we let him bite us.
Steffan: No. Connect hands with me and Tom.
Dylan: I'm pretty sure Tom has nothing left in him.
Steffan: Just do as I say!
(All three of them connect hands as they give their electricity to Finlay)
(Finlay zaps Xeyutryx with a powerful surge of electricity)
Finlay: Ha ha! Unlimited POWAH!!!!!!!
(Xeyutryx falls to his knees)
Finlay: How can you become Omnigod of pain and suffering when you've never even felt it.
Xeyutryx: How do you think I gained my place as an Omnigod? Centuries upon millennia of constant pain just waiting for the day it would kill me. Now I can let all that anger out on the world, give them what I went through.
Finlay: Wouldn't killing you be doing you a massive favour?
Xeyutryx: Are you kidding me. I've reached the highest level for a living organism why would I stop now? Although you may benefit from the relief of death. No more resets. No more pain. Nothing.
Finlay: I wouldn't give up for her.
Tom: Did he just say 'for her'?
Xeyutryx: Right, what makes you so sure she'll love you again.
Finlay: I know you'll give up eventually. I will burn you out.
Xeyutryx: What makes you so sure the curse can break hmmmmmmm... How about I share a distant memory of yours.
(Xeyutryx projects a memory from Finlay's first life)
(Past Finlay begins to dance)
Past Finlay: I can't see me lovin' nobody but you for all my life. When you're with me baby, the skies will be blue for all my life.
Xeyutryx: Look how happy you where. I bet you wished I never existed.
(Finlay forms his hand into a fist)
Xeyutryx: Go ahead hit me if you wish but your anger, sadness and pain only make me stronger.
(Finlay breaks into tears)
(Xeyutryx immensely increases in size)
Xeyutryx: My physical form hasn't been this strong since that time I hurled a meteor at all those dinosaurs. What was that thing you said again 'With every restart I gain more knowledge'. Well you didn't have enough to plan this through!
Tom: You forgot something.
Xeyutryx: I did?
Tom: Yup
Xeyutryx: You're right where is my portal key?
Tom: ZZZZZZZAP!!!
(Tom shoots something at Xeyutryx)
Xeyutryx: Ow! what was that?
Tom: You have given me half of the world's most powerful ship.
Xeyutryx: A ship is useless with only one person.
Tom: Whilst a hammer can cause massive amounts of pain. Half of a hammer can still to the job just find.
Xeyutryx: You wha-
(Xeyutryx gets hit over the head with half of a hammer)
Xeyutryx: Why you little!
(Xeyutryx tries to crush Tom)
(Dylan freezes Xeyutryx's hand over)
(Don't Bring Me Down begins to play)
Xeyutryx: Grrrrrrrrr!
(Xeyutryx throws a fireball towards Dylan)
(Dylan eats the fireball)
Steffan: Um.....
Xeyutryx: Wha!
(Dylan swallows)
(Dylan gains fire based abilities)
Dylan: Go ahead throw anything else at me. I dare you.
(Dylan hurls a barrage of fireballs at Xeyutryx)
Xeyutryx: Here take this.
(Xeyutryx throws a sloth at Dylan)
(Dylan absorbs the power of a sloth)
Dylan: And I'm a sloth now... I can get used to this.
Steffan: That's not all the secrets we're hiding. What you don't know is that I have the power to focus all of my strength and energy into specific areas of my body.
Xeyutryx: So the rest of your body is incredibly vulnerable?
Steffan: Well not really you see I can use that specific area to defend myself.
Xeyutryx: But, that still leaves a one hit KO mark somewhere on your body.
Tom: Chair!!!
Xeyutryx: Chair?
(Tom slams half a chair over Xeyutryx's head)
Xeyutryx: Fine I'll play it your way.
(Xeyutryx launches half of a beam at Tom)
(Steffan concentrates the power into his forehead)
Steffan: This is for causing my friend all that pain!
(Steffan headbutts Xeyutryx across the face)
(Xeyutryx attempts to strike Steffan's weak spot from behind but Finlay takes the blow for him)
Xeyutryx: Well, look who has come to begin his next restart.
(Don't bring me done stops playing)
Finlay: You've destroyed my chances at a normal and happy life with the love of my life. Because of you I will never be able to live life like most others. But I have lived a life like no other.
Xeyutryx: Do I honestly have to hear this every time.
Finlay: Because of this opportunity you've given me I have been able to master multiple skills and experienced five hundred times more then any other human.
Xeyutryx: What, stop that positivity!
Finlay: Because of you I've benefited the lives of others around me with the knowledge you've helped me learn.
Xeyutryx: Stop that!!!
Finlay: And when you thought you were a step ahead of me. Think again.
(Finlay summons the electricity of the whole world)
(Finlay begins a transformation into his mech)
(Ultraman Tiga theme begins to play)
Tom: How has he never told me this!
Finlay: Say hello to Teravolt.
Xeyutryx: ...no...
(Finlay headbutts Xeyutryx)
Finlay: Woooooo! Teratastic!!!
Dylan: Now will you admit he's cooler then you.
Steffan: Well he... his... I... Yeah. How are you gonna turn back?
Dylan: I can turn back when ever I want to. Just enjoying it while it lasts.
Xeyutryx: Why didn't you do this before I gained all my power?
Finlay: It leaves a much greater story to be told.
(Xeyutryx charges towards Finlay)
(Finlay summons the lightning knunchucks)
(Finlay uses the knunchucks to defend himself)
Xeyutryx: I don't understand! You are only mortal I am the bloody Omnigod of Pain and Suffering!
Finlay: Well you're obviously not the Omnigod of knowledge.
Tom: AAAAAAAAAA he's so cool!!!
(Finlay pins Xeyutryx down with the knunchucks)
Xeyutryx: What you going to do after I die, huh. What chances of resetting the curse do you have after that.
Finlay: Honestly, after the 500+ years of torture you have given me, the satisfaction of ending you is enough to satisfy me.
Xeyutryx: How do you know this will kill me?
Finlay: Trust me I've had plenty of time to plan this through.
(Finlay launches a surge of electricity through Xeyutryx making him vanish)
(Xeyutryx is no more)
(Ultraman Tiga theme stops playing)
(Finlay returns to his original state)
Steffan: Is he?
(Finlay nodes his head)
Tom: How come you only told us this now!?
Finlay: It usually has negative effects when I tell others.
Dylan: Aren't you happy at all?
Finlay: Trying to contain it until the curse is lifted. Don't want to over excite myself. Sorry I made all of you go through this, it wasn't right for me to put all of you in.
Steffan: Are you kidding me we helped you kill a god!
Dylan: Plus everything really adds up now we know the whole story. You must have really loved her then?
Finlay: I don't go a second without thinking of her.
Dylan: In the time you've had you ever thought of moving on?
Tom: Who cares just tell me who it is!?
Finlay: Well, don't tell anyone but...
(Finlay gets interrupted by a portal opening)
Finlay: I think that might be it!
Steffan: What?
Finlay: The que for my happily ever after. Even though you'll still be there in this dimension with me... I'm still gonna miss all of you.
Dylan: Before we get to the touching part you should probably restore the world's electricity.
(Screams and chaos can be heard in the background)
Finlay: Good idea
(Finlay restores the world's electricity)
Finlay: If I can I'll visit from time to time.. If I can.
Steffan: Same here. If I can.
Finlay: Ta ta.
(Finlay enters the portal)
Tom: I didn't even get name...
(Finlay enters the realm of Xeyutryx)
Lord Xeyutryx: You honestly thought you outsmarted me. You've only just dug a deeper hole for yourself.
Finlay: I knew it couldn't of been this easy (sigh).
(Back in the normal world)
Tom: (Sobbing about losing the most powerful ship of all time)
Dylan: Two questions. What do we say to the police and Who's explaining everything to his parents
Dylan and Steffan: Not me
(Credits begin rolling)
(Don't you forget about me plays during the credits)

THE END

(Well kinda, since every movie does it these days I'm gonna put a short ending credits scene right here)

(Finlay turns on the camera)
Finlay: Hello to everybody who's wondering where I am. Don't worry I haven't commit suicide. But, I should've hopefully exited this world by now to the place I belong... I'll pay a visit to this dimension every once in a while. Hopefully... I'll be a little happier.
(Finlay switches his camera off)

THE END

for reals...