Please Don't Say You Love Me

Chapter 17

Roman's P.O.V

I rushed through the closet as fast as I could and found the box.

An old red cardboard box with my name written across the top with sharpie; it's not exactly a memory box.

It's a chapter of my life confined in a small space.

The 5 years I was blind are trapped in here.

I open the lid carefully and pull out my walking stick, a fold-able black with a handmade grip. This was my guide to the real world for five years, the years that should have been some of the best of my life. 

The box was filled with walking sticks, old medication boxes and everything that was associated with my temporary blindness.

It was my fault it even happened.

In short, a really severe motorcycle incident that disturbed my optic nerve and put me in the hospital for months. I couldn't even walk for part of it.

Under everything in the box there were two things I had always avoided to touch, my helmet and a tape recorder. 

The helmet had an image of Damon, Carlos and I from high school slipped beneath the visor.

The tape recorder was my vocal journal throughout those years. I opened the box and played the first ever tape,

Hey people,

it's day one of being blind. The doctor says I should have my vision back in no time, which is great so I can finally shave on my own because right now I am pretty sure that Rose has cut off half my skin.

Hey, it's not easy and I think I did a pretty good job. (Rose in background)

Hahaha, yeah sure. Anyway this is a huge lifestyle change but I'll be okay I mean come on this is Roman Cole Darren. Like I am too suave. 

Gotta go, Peace.

I wiped away the fresh wave of tears that sprinkled across my cheeks, then pulled out the last vocal journal entry.

It's killing me.

Staying in a room and waiting for my death.

It's been five years yet it feels like a lifetime has past.

I feel like a child who needs a nanny to do everything.

I'm sick of falling, I'm sick of waking up to darkness and sleeping with darkness.

Dr Benjamin says that after tomorrow's surgery my eye sight will return, but it's too late I guess my soul escaped with my eye sight and they both wont be coming back.

I regret my choices so much, I took sunshine for granted, colors for granted, the look of trees and my family for granted.

I took my life for granted.

That was the last vocal journal recorded. I would have never thought that I would fall so low. I was never the person to go through trauma or pain because of my positive attitude , I grew up in an amazing household. I was incredibly close to my family and had great friends. My career was set but my parents always let me know that if I wanted to do something else with my life I had free will to do so.

It drives me insane that I have changed this much.

The years that should have been some of the best years of my life were destroyed. I lost purpose.

I miss me.

I miss my happiness.

I want it back.

I want it back so badly. I want to feel emotions beside anger and sadness. I'm off my anti-depressants but I feel no different.

I want to be my mum's son again, the one who stuck to her like glue.

I want to make my family happy again for all the right reasons.

The door creaked open and my parents walked in, they saw my red eyes and the opened box in front of me.

"I'm ready. I wanna be me again'' I said as more tears escaped my eyes.

My parents ran in with tears already falling down their face and hugged me and in this moment I feel as though I'll be okay.

Adeline's P.O.V (The next morning)

Axel and Willow were fighting over the remote again. Axel wanted to watch the bachelor while Willow wanted to see the Cupcake Showdown on the food network. I walked over to the TV and pulled the plug.

They both started to whine,

"Zip it both of you, I am trying to do some work." I said.

"Why are you working on your day off?"Asked Axel.

I opened my mouth to answer, but Willow beat me to it.

"This is how she feels connected to her boss." Willow said dramatically, I rolled my eyes.

"Awe does Willow miss her boyfriend?'' Said Axel teasingly.

"Not my boyfriend" I replied.

"Yeah but he could be, didn't you notice how jealous Axel made him the other day?" Said Willow. Her eyes widened extremely after that.

I looked between them both confused.

"Ignore me." Willow said as she attempted to leave.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Axel sighed," long story short, when you picked me up from the airport I might have acted like your boyfriend, but only to see if your boss liked you or not. So my crazy ways proved that he is so into you, like girl that man wanted to cut me up." He said.

"AXEL, are you crazy why would you do that?" I asked angrily.

"I just wanted to make sure that this guy won't be like the last okay. You deserve a guy who is only nuts about you and you only." He said.

"In his own crazy way he was looking out for you." Says Willow.

"I didn't mean to upset you Ember." He said.

"It's fine." I said as I slumped down onto the couch.

"I like him, I think. I don't know it's just when he's close to me or when he looks directly at me or when he says my name I get giddy on the inside." I say honestly.

"It's called a crush." Willow says.

"Oh please he's my boss." I say.

"So?" Axel says.

Before I can respond my phone buzzes and I walk over to the table where I placed it.

"Who is it?" Axel asks.

"It's Mrs Darren, I mean Vivian, she wants me to come over today for lunch and to buy our dresses for the ball." I say.

"Awe look you're so close to your in-laws." Says Willow with a spoonful of chocolate ice cream.