Dear Past, You Suck!

Another Stupid Celebration

As people stopped to watch me walk impossibly slowly down the stairs, they did not stare with amusement as I thought they would, but with awe. I didn't think they expected to see me here, or at all. Ever. A few women stared at my mostly purple dress with such jealousy I could see their faces turning red through their caked on powder. I smirked at them in amusement. Of course they didn't care that I was home safe or anything, no it's 'oh my god! That girl everyone assumed dead has a purple dress!' Get a life. A man pushed through the crowd. He was young from what I could tell through the ridiculous white wig and face powder he wore like everyone else. He wore the classic flouncy jacket and breeches as all he's as all the other men. His was green but a lot of the other men wore red almost military looking uniforms. He bowed and held out a hand for me which I was grateful for since I was currently envisioning myself tripping on the last step and being stuck on the ground. I took his hand and gave a curt nod towards him. As I looked into his face closer I finally realized who it was.

"Abraham? You look very... different," I said unsure as to what to say.

"Yes, I do loathe this formal attire.But you look as beautiful as the early morning sun," Abraham said as quietly as he could over the murmurs of the others.

"Don't lie, I look like a clown," I sighed.

"I am afraid I do not know what that is," Abraham said.

"It just means I look ridiculous," I said shaking my head.

"I do wish we did not have to attend such foolish events," he sighed, "No offence to your brother-er- I mean cousin."

"I don't even know him. Hey why don't we say hi to him and then sneak out. I can get my maid to get us some normal clothes," I suggested with a mischievous grin in my eye.

He shifted uncomfortably and looked around the room like he was scared someone might overhear,"I am not so sure if that is a good idea. My parents and your uncle and aunt might-"

"Hey Abraham, when was the last time you did something for yourself?" I asked him and he looked generally confused.

"Um, a time does not come to my mind. I guess we could go. It would not affect anyone." He said hesitantly.

"Okay so where do the maids hang out during this sorta thing?"

"I believe they would be helping in the kitchen-"

"Okay so you stay here and distract everyone and I'll go talk to my maid. Then we'll say hi to 'my brother' then we'll sneak out and get our clothes." I said excitedly.

He grinned micheviously, obviously getting excited for the plan, "Alright! This is the most exciting thing I have ever done!" He wandered over to a few people and started a group discussion. I wandered into the kitchen which was packed full of people. It was hot and noisy in there. I couldn't see Eleanor in the chaos but she definetly saw me. Which it did help because I was two feet taller than everyone with my hair and twice as wide with my dress. She pulled me into a almost empty hallway.

"What are you doing in here?" She hissed, "You get to be at a party of the century and you are down here with the staff!"

"Look me and Abraham are breaking out of the party and we need a favour," I gave her a pleading smile.

She rubbed her red eyes and smoothed back her frizzy hair, and said with tiredness, "And what would that be, Miss Alice?"

"'Kay so Abraham and I need like some normal clothes. So could I borrow a dress of yours and could you scrape together something for him?"

"I will see what I can do. I will need about half of the hour for this task." She turned away tiredly.

"Meet us at that little pond down the road please!" I called as she walked away.

I pulled Abraham away from the crowd and into a little parlour with a few sleeping people in it.

"Okay so we have to meet Eleanor at the pond down the road. Shall we go say hello to my brother then leave?" I said grabbing his arm.

"Whatever you say, my Alice," he smiled and offered his arm to me.

'My brother' was an eleven or twelve year old boy who was short for his age. He was sitting next to the Hemertons trying to look as hoity as they are but his pride and eagerness was evident on his face. He was wearing an outfit very similar to his fathers and the large wig made him look even smaller. When we entered he began to rush forward off of his seat but slowed himself and held out his hand.

"It is very good to see that you are well sister," he said in the tiniest voice. He looked back at his father who gave him a small nod. He beamed and puffed out his chest a little more. "It is also good to see you as well Abraham. I mean Master Warlest."

Abraham smiled at the young boy, " I barely recognized you Augustus. I mistook you for your father." Which was an obvious lie but Augustus adjusted his clothing proudly.

"Yes, you look just like a man," I said but Augustus looked slightly hurt for some reason so I added, "Which I suppose you are now." He beamed and I shook his hand.

"We must be moving on now. It was very good to see you again," Abraham said. We walked along the outside of the party and snuck out a back door together. People would glance at us but would not question where we were going as long as we were in the party. But the staff did give us suspicious looks as we exited through the kitchen door.

The night air was cool and windy. Abraham laughed and began running down the dirt driveway away from the huge house.

"Abraham! I can't run in this!" I called at him as he got further away from me.

"Then I will carry you!" He said beaming bigger than even Augustus had been.

"I've got enough weighing me down right now that not even a forklift could lift me," I laughed.

He canted his head and said, "You are right. There is enough on us that we do not need!" He ripped off his wig whisking it into the bushes, then did the same with his jacket, shoes and long socks. He laughed, looking up at the sky, breathing deeply. Why hadn't I took off what I could yet? I lifted off the powdered wig. I hadn't realized how much it was weighing on me until I had taken it off. The constant headache I had had for hours was finally lifting. I slipped off the shoes that were making my feet bleed and the gloves that were on my hands. The makeup on my face came off only slightly when I wiped my face with the back of my hand. I unladylike reached under my skirt removing the large cages attached around my hips. If only I could breathe again.

We met Eleanor at the pond. She was already there when we arrived. She politely gave us the clothes and left as quickly as she could. I guess she still had to work. I hid in the trees to change. I took almost half an hour longer than Abraham because of the courset. Once I had finally unknotted the knot holding it together I had to unstring it blindly. Once I had wretched the confining corset off I leaned against a tree breathing hard. It's like I was holding my breath for hours and just took my first breath since. Along with the dress Eleanor had packed the underwire bra I had arrived in. I never thought I would be grateful for a bra.

"We should go to the town! I always had wanted to go to an actual pub before," Abraham said as soon as I emerged from the trees. He had washed his face and hair in the pond. He almost looked like someone normal. Like the kind of guy I would see on the streets at home, walking their dog, going to work etc. His clothes looked normal (for 1756 at least) it was a simple coat and pants, nothing extra about it.

"Okay but give me a moment to wash my face," I revelled in the cold water as it cleansed my face."Do I look better?"

"You are more yourself this way," he said, "Shall we go?"

"Absolutely,"