Welcome To My Life [boyxboy]

Chapter Three

 Sam:

 I jumped when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Y-Yeah?" I called.

 "Sam?" I heard my brother, Stephen, call. "It's Stee. Can I come in?"

 "Yeah," I said. I'd finished cutting now, and had cleaned myself up. I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. He pushed the door open and stuck his head round, smiling.

 "Hiya, mate Dad and Mariah have gone out. I was just starting dinner," he said. "Are you gonna come down?"

 "Stee..."I began, tiredly.

 "I know, you don't like coming downstairs to dinner," he said. "But it's just me and you."

 "I know," I said. "But..."

 "Tell you what.  Screw cooking," he said. "We've not had a proper slob night in ages - how about we order some pizza and Indian food, rent a couple of bad movies. Just be total fat pigs in front of the TV, eh?"

 "I..." I was cut off by the sound of my alarm clock beeping. Pill time. I had to take them twice a day. I sighed. Stee tipped two of my pills from the little bottle on my bedside table into my hand. I swallowed deeply, then popped the tablets into my mouth and swallowed them with a swig of water.

 "So, are you going to come and be a slob with me, then?" he asked. I forced a tight smile at him.

 "Sure. Sounds fun," I said. "Just lemme get a shower first, then I'll come down and hang with you."

 "Good lad," he smiled back at me.

 I went to the bathroom and started the shower. I always had really hot shower. It made me feel cleaner - the water scalded my skin stinging scarlet. But it was okay. Hotter water was more sterile, right? I stood, watching with interest as the glass steamed up slowly. For a brief time after... things happened, I refused to be completely naked for more than a couple of seconds when changing and wore my swimming trunks in the shower. Then I realised how silly I was being and began to shower properly again. But I'd still scream if anybody came into the bathroom while I was having a shower. We'd never had locks before then - but Dad got one installed straight away when I asked him too.

 After changing into a black tee-shirt and grey sweatpants, I went downstairs and sat with Stee. He smiled at me. "Alright?" he asked.

"Mm," I mumbled, unconvincingly.

 "The little shits at school still giving you bother?" he raised one eyebrow. I nodded once and he sighed. "I wish you'd let me come and sort them out for you."

 "No. You'd make everything worse," I said. "I've not got long left there anyway. I'll just stick it out until the end."

 "You're really brave, kiddo," he said. "You know if you ever need to talk about anything... well, I know you've got Amy but you can talk to me about anything you want to speak to her about. You do know that, right?"

 "Of course I do," I said. Then I swallowed. "I've got a headache, is there any paracetamol in the cabinet?"

"Yeah, sure," he said. "Do you want me to fetch you some?"

"No, no," I said, getting to my feet. "I can get them myself." I went to the kitchen and got the box of paracetamol tablets out of the medicine cabinet. I didn't really have a headache. But my hands were shaking and I was freaking out a little bit. I swallowed two tablets with a little water. Then I sighed and pushed a hand through my hair. That felt a bit better.

 I jumped when I heard a knock on the door. I heard Stee talking to somebody, then he came back into the kitchen with a carrier bag. "Food," he smiled. 

 "Brill," I smiled back at him as he poked around for plates.

Stee knew I wasn't a massive eater since 'things' happened, and didn't put too much on my plate. But I still didn't eat it all - I didn't even eat half. He sighed. "Come on, Sammy," he said. "Eat something."

"I have," I pointed out.

"Eat more," he said.

"No. I'm not hungry. Here. You finish mine," I pushed the plate towards him. He pushed it back to me.

"No. You need to get a full meal into you sometime sooner or later," he said. "You're all skin and bone, Sam. I'm worried that..." he trailed off.

"You're worried that what?" I asked.

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Here. I'll put your in the fridge, you can whack it in the microwave later if you're hungry."

"No, no, tell me what you were going to say," I said, folding my arms.

"I just... I'm worried that you're anorexic, alright?" he said. "I mean, look at you. You're so skinny. And you'll never eat. And you drink so much water. It's like you're trying to fill yourself up so you can't eat or something."

"I'm not anorexic," I whispered, shocked at the thought.

"Well... I just thought... I know you're self concious about your looks since 'things' happened," he shrugged. "You shouldn't be though. You're perfect, Sammy, alright? Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Um," I said, swallowing. "Th-thanks."

"I want to give you a hug," he said, desperately. I shook my head.

I just wasn't ready for that yet.