the secret son - a harry potter avengers crossover.

Chapter 9 part 2

Last time

Harry grabbed the two kids off the floor where they'd been playing before hurrying to the kitchen.

Now

"Hello everybody! I return with children and food is on the way!" Harry joked.

"Food?" Clint perked up.

"Mate, we still need to eat all the desserts I made earlier."

"... oh well, they're still amazing." and he ran off to the kitchen.

Harry sighed a suffering sigh. "Come on! You can ask questions in a minute. After food."

Everyone filed into the kitchen, only to grab something from a box and file out back into the front room. Harry also found the kids some baby food to feed on.

"Go on then. Ask away."

Everyone started speaking at the same time. Harry couldn't make heads or tails of what they were saying. "OI!" he shouted, getting everyone's attention. "One at a time! I can't understand anything! And the kids don't like it." he indicated to Teddy and Victoire beside him, who looked like they were about to burst into tears.

"Horcruxes? Voldemort had Horcruxes?" Bill asked, deathly pale. Harry nodded. "Thank god the goblins never found out. They despise Horcruxes! They would have gone on a rampage!"

"I know. We would be in a financial crisis, to say the least."

"Dobby died? You loved him!" Sirius stated.

"Yeah. That elf was amazing. We made an adorable burial though. 'Here lies Dobby, a free elf'. I miss that guy."

"Why did Hermione take you to London? And why did she keep going on about her parents?" Arthur questioned.

"She decided that it would be a good idea to wipe their memories. Then she kept going on about how she had to and how she misses them. I was this close to AKing her. At least her's aren't dead! She had absolutely no respect!" Harry rolled his eyes. "But yeah, she always went to places that reminded her if her parents. It was plain ridiculous. She then started telling us day to day accounts of what they did there! Like, jeez, if it hurts so much, stop fucking talking about them!"

"Why didn't you text me to say that you'd be out of contact all year?" Tony demanded.

"I forgot my phone. Left it in the twins' bedroom. They found it, charged it and gave it to me just before the final battle."

"Have you found anything to do with Thanos." Nick queried.

"Okay... he is one of the most powerful beings in existence. He is after Death's heart, which he'll never get, but hey! Who cares. He has destroyed worlds to win her over. There is only one being that exists who can stand up to him. The master of death. We have been in contact and he will help us, we have been going over tactics to destroy him. We should be ready by the time he comes to Earth."

"Do we get to know his name?"

"No. He is a very private person."

"How do you know him then!"

"We've been friends for years."

"Fine. Whatever. Can we watch the rest now?"

"Go ahead. I'm staying with these two munchkins." Harry claimed, ruffling Teddy and Victoire's hair. They both giggled, Teddy clapping along.

The rest dunked their heads into the pensive and were gone.

Over two hours later, Harry was reading a book, the kids playing with building blocks on the floor, when everyone was flung out of the pensive. The first thing to come out of everyone's mouth was "YOU DIED?" which was creepily in sync.

"Yes, but I am still here. No, don't touch me!" he shouted as his father got a look in his eyes. "It was two weeks ago! I'm fine!"

"You broke into Gringotts? Bill asked.

Harry winced. "Yeaaaahhhh..."

"ARE YOU FUCKING SUICIDAL?" Sirius screamed.

"Hey! I'm still cool with the goblins! They've always loved me! Just gave 'em some money for repairs, explained it was a horcrux, and boom! Back in their good books. Oh, and I gave them back their dragon."

"Merlin, how do you get yourself into these situations? And more importantly, how do you get out?" Charlie questioned.

"Fuck knows. I'm me, nothing will ever change. Face it, this will happen my whole life."

"You have a shit life." Fred commented.

"Wow. I feel so loved." Harry deadpanned. They both burst into laughter, George joining a second later.

"Umm... I get the feeling this is an inside joke. Care to enlighten us?" Sirius asked.

"You had to be there. If we explained, it wouldn't do it justice." they explained in perfect harmony, and burst into a new round of laughter.

Everyone slowly backed away, Bill grabbing the children, and as soon as they were out of the room, sprinted as fast as they could from the three pranksters, who were lying on the floor in hysterics in the common room.

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A/N: Aloha! I'm back! And it's summer!!! Whooooooop! Anywho, ohmygodiwenttoharrypotterstudiosanditsamazingandiminloveandfuckyeahsavemeimgoingcrazyitwasactuallythebest! (Translation: oh my god I went to harry potter studios and it's amazing and I'm in love and fuck yeah save me I'm going crazy it was actually the best!) I should probably stop talking about that - I will go on forever. Oh - I'm getting braces next week! It's going to fuck my life up. And be very painful. Cause face it - my teeth are fucked up. Anyway, got to go! I will see you next week. Please rate and review - I still love feedback. Byyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeee!!!

~RubyRedGirl03