Suicidal

Chapter 12

4 days later...

"No...no...please not again," her voice was soft, but scared.

Elliot woke up to the sound of Olivia's voice. He placed his hand on her shoulder and shook her a little to wake her up. Her figure shot up and tears were streaming down her face.

"Liv, you're okay," he whispers in her ear as he leans in to kiss the side of her head.

"El...this is horrible. I don't want to live my life like this forever. I want to be happy with you, but you're not happy. I know you want the best for me and for me to fight through this, but El...I really don't think I can."

"Liv, I know you. The real you. You're strong, beautiful, independent...God are you independent," he chuckles, causing her to smile. His smile fades as he makes the conversation serious again, "I want you to be okay."

"El the truth is...I don't think I ever will be. I know you want a family and you want me to be happy, but that's something I can't give to you," her words cause them both pain. She looks up at him, "I love you, and I thought everything was going to get better after Lewis was arrested, but I was wrong."

"Hey...if anyone can come back from something like this, it's you," his words were soft, and she gave him a slight smile.

She wanted to be okay, but she knows she won't be. Nothing will ever be the same as it was before.

"I have to go to work now. I love you. So much," he placed his hand on the side of her face and his lips on her forehead.

"I love you, too," she smiled faintly at him as he walked out of their room.

She heard the front door close and she began to pace the room.

I don't want to be here. I love him, but I can't do this anymore.

Her thoughts getting the best of her, she searched the house for something to ease the pain. Make it all go away. Forever.

She'd been trying to think of a way to end her misery for the past few hours now.

Elliot's going to be home soon. I have to do this before it's too late.

She finds a pen and a piece of paper and begins to write...

"Dearest Elliot:

Words can't explain how much you mean to me. I want you to be happy. For that to happen, I have to be gone. I don't want to fight like this anymore. I know you say I'm strong...but that was before all of this. I tried to fight it, but I'm tired. I'm tired of being tired. It's like happiness was a mountain. I was almost at the top and then my ice axe slipped and I fell down. Happiness was within my grasp and the next thing I knew, I was right back where I started. Every time I think I'm finally going to get to be happy with you again, something happens and ruins that. I don't want to feel that way anymore. It's made my life a living hell. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Always remember that. I love you, Elliot.

Love,

Olivia"

She finished the letter and sealed it in an envelope with Elliot's name on the front of it. She sat it on the edge of the bed.

She walked to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her thoughts running wild.

You're worthless. I don't know how you even lived with yourself for this long. Look at you...you're an ugly excuse of a human being.

She opened up the cabinet and looked at the pill bottles. She didn't look at the label. She grabbed 3 of the pill bottles and sat them on the bathroom sink.

She went downstairs and rummaged through the cabinets and finally found a bottle of whiskey. She carried that back up to the bathroom with her.

She removed her clothing except for her bra and underwear. As she looked down at her body, she burst into tears. She hated herself. All she wanted was for this to be over.

She ran a tub full of water and got in. She poured several of the pills into her hand, tossed them into her mouth, and downed them with the whiskey.

She kept drinking until she passed out and her frail body slipped under the water.

A/N~ i know guys !! i'm terribly sorry for how this chapter ended !! stay tuned !! love you beautiful angels💖