Could You Love Me

Could You Love Me {XX}

"I want to go now." I finally spoke, my voice sounding raspy from the lack of using it all day.

"Of course." Imogen nodded, buckling her seat belt and speeding out of the parking lot.

Chase sat in the back and I could feel his worried glance on me, only making me drift closer and closer to the breakdown I knew for sure was going to happen.

***

"Hey, guys. I've been trying my best to keep her out of trouble, I promise." Imogen spoke, sitting down next to me on the grassy ground, looking at the large head stone in front of us.

'James and Danielle Blackwood
1977/1979- 10/15/14
Loving parents, brother, and sister
May their souls rest in peace'

"It's been hard, but I'm still here and so is Chase. We both miss the weekend barbecues and movie nights, and the famous 'Homemade Lemonade from the heart'." She smiled sadly, as Chase laid the new flowers down on their grave, taking the old ones off.

"I'll leave you alone." Imogen whispered, standing up, squeezing my shoulder, walking off with Chase in the distance.

I sat there numbly for minutes, not knowing what to say or do. Not knowing whether I could handle it.

"Hi mom and dad." I croaked, the tears finally falling out of my eyes.

"It's been three years and you'd think things would be a lot better now, but they just keep getting worse. I'm lost and I still don't know what to do without you guys. I wake up and run down the stairs some mornings thinking that you both would be in the kitchen, drinking your coffee and reading the morning newspaper, only to find an empty kitchen and the fact that you will never be back. I miss seeing you everyday and getting those worried phone calls when I'm not home and it's getting late. I miss you more and more everyday. I want you back." I cried, feeling like a disgusting wreck.

I didn't know how long it was that I just sat there, staring at the ground as if I tried hard enough, it'd make them magically come back.

As if everything would be okay.

As if I would have them again.

"O?" Imogen called softly. "Someone's here for you."

I looked up to see Axel standing there, almost looking heart broken as he examined my tear stained face.

Even in a dire situation, my heart still managed to skip a beat at the sight of him.

I wanted him hug me, oddly. I wanted him to comfort me and in reality, I just wanted him.

Maybe just for the day I could show him my vulnerability. After all there was no way I could hide it, and I wouldn't.

It was the only day of the year I allowed myself to cry. I allowed my past to take a toll on me. I allowed all the pain to seep in, hitting me head on.

I expected Axel to turn and run for the hills at the mess I was, or instead clown me for how weak I was being. Instead, he sat down next to me, looking at the headstone.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"It's not something I like to bring up." I mumbled, making him turn to look at me.

"I'm so sorry, O." Axel whispered, his sincerity pulling at my heart.

Tears fell out of my eyes as I watched him, his eyes softening as they stared down at me.

"Remember when I told you about Davidson and how something happened to my family freshman year?" I questioned, making him nod. "This was it."

My eyes raked over the headstone as I remembered that day like it was yesterday.

"I was at school and the principal came on the intercom, announcing that we were being dismissed early because of a severe storm that was coming. Since I was a freshman, I didn't have a car yet, and I refused to take the bus so I left my parents with no other choice but to come and get me." I began, feeling my eyes starting to water again and Axel's eyes watching me intently.

"I remember being mad at them for taking so long, putting my headphones in so I could ignore them both. We were stopped at a red light when it turned green and my dad didn't see the eighteen wheeler speeding down the road because it was raining so hard. It flew through its red light and I remember hearing my mom scream. My dad tried to brake but the road was too slippery and they died on impact."

My cheeks felt like they had rivers running down them and Axel stared at me sadly, causing me to avoid his gaze.

"I should've died that day, but I got pulled out of the smushed car with a concussion and a broken leg, while my parents got pulled out with their lives lost. I'll never forget how rude I was to them in their last few minutes of living. I couldn't tell them I was sorry and that I loved them, I couldn't take back the phone call I made to them to come pick me up in the first place, I couldn't take back anything. Everyday since then I've wished it was me who died in that accident, not them."

Axel pulled me into his arms, only making more tears fall. "Don't you ever say that. I guarantee that your parents are grateful that you survived, and I'm sure they know that you love them and that you're sorry. But don't ever think for a damn second, that it should've been you. It wasn't your fault that asshole ran his red light."

I was speechless because of his words, wiping my eyes as I pulled my head off of his chest, his arm still wrapped around me.

"I think my parents would've liked you." I smiled sadly, feeling Imogen's hand on my shoulder as her and Chase sat down on the other side of me, her laying her head on my shoulder as we all looked at my parents grave.

"I think I would've liked them too." Axel smiled, kissing the top of my head softly.

***

A/N: This chapter is still the saddest one I've ever written to this day, I still cry reading it.

Chapters 16-20 have been updated, thank you all for being patient!

See you all next read,

-MT