Fated Stars

Chapter 4

(Recap)

I turn back to my door and grab the handle when Ward speaks again. "Azalea," I turn

All too soon I feel the lick of warmth from the rising sun's rays caress my face, and soon my whole body that is covered beneath my thin cream colored blanket is warmed through. The warmth that was once pleasant has become uncomfortable and the itch to get out of bed and end it is hard for me to ignore.

But another part of me is so drained from the lack of sleep during the night that it pray to fall back to sleep and maybe, hopefully sleep the day away entirely and wake up the next day.

But I doubt the stars are that accommodating especially to me. I was so anxious and restless last night I did not think I would manage to fall asleep at all. Every time I would close my eyes I would play out scenarios in my mind of how the next day September 27th would go with the mates being chosen.

Almost all of them would end in utter embarrassment for me and my mother and worst of all my father alpha Rais he was the one I sensed the most embarrassment from.

Just like every other year my name was not called and in one scenario everyone turned to stare and ridicule me, which had to be the most traumatizing of nightmares.

After hours of doing that I finally manage to tire myself out and fell asleep and I had the most pleasant dream, one I haven't had in the longest of times.

Me and my best friend Toan were playing hide and seek but the seeker was blindfolded and you could only use your sense of smell and hearing to find the other person.

A gentle smile finds its way onto my face, which is funny considering I never thought today of all days I could find something to smile about.

But all too soon more thoughts of Toan bring the familiar sting deep within my chest and I force myself out of bed as well as force my painful emotion down.

I sit on the edge of my bed with my hand gripping the edges. I stare across the room at a nick in my wooden covered bedroom walls.

I just stare at the out of place spot on the wall not really thinking about anything. Today I feel very numb, which is strange considering every other year I am a complete mess on this day.

Usually my emotions are very sporadic ranging from extreme depressing and self-loathing to optimistic and hopeful.

 But I cannot seem to feel anything not much of anything, which does concern me.  I suppose it could be from my experience I have been through this since I was thirteen so about six years now.

            About an hour later I finally got dress when I heard my mother wake. She stayed up late into the night making dresses she still had not even started yesterday. I hope she is almost done I do not want her to get sick from getting no sleep. I had tried to offer my help to her last night but she would not have that she said I need to get my beauty sleep for today, for my mate I guess.

My mother is the picture of optimistic and positive, but I wonder if after today she might realize that the Stars do not intend to give me a mate. I do not know if that has ever happen in our packs history before but people have lost their mates from passing, from dying before.

It's something I have thought about often, what my life would be like if I never were given a mate. I suppose I would have to just live with my mother and continue on with the way my life is right now. I shake my head quickly, banishing the depressed thoughts from my mind. I am only going to make myself sick if I keep thinking this way.

I just need to stay calm and collected till the ceremony is over then I after I can release the tears and my many other emotions when I am alone in my room.

            I finally open my door and head out to seek my mother; it does not take me long. I find her sitting at the kitchen table sewing up a storm.

"Morning Mother." I greet her trying to keep the despair out of my speech.

She turns to me with bright blue eyes despite being up most of night creating beautiful gowns. The little wrinkles around her eyes crunch up with her smile but does nothing to take away from her beauty.

"Good morning my angel did you sleep well?" I just smile and incline my head. I look back to her and can see the doubt within her eyes.

"Well I am almost done with my last dress. Then I will make us a big breakfast. What sounds good to you do you want protein or just some fruit and those amazing muffins you bake the other day, oh I know we can have both. We need all the energy we can get today."

"Whatever you want mother I am not that hungry this morning." I sit down at the table and observe the dress in my mother's hands, it's cotton and is dyed a sunset orange. It's very bright and bold, something I could never get the courage to wear for I would stand out like a wolf in a heard of sheep.

"Azalea, Azalea are you alright dear?" I feel my mother's hand upon me and I realize I had spaced out for a few moments, I must have worried her.

"No, I-I mean yes I was just marveling at this color, I have never seen a shade this bright before, who's dress is it?"

"Thank goodness I thought I had lost you to the stars for a moment; please do not do that again." Though her words are serious I can sense the humor within them as well. I smile "Forgive mother, I was just taken by the color."

She laughs "yes it was requested by Elli's mother, I think her exact words were the brighter the dress the harder it is for the stars to ignore giving Elli a mate or something as silly as that." She laughs some more and I release a laugh as well.

I did not recall who Elli was but that is because there are so many members in our pack. Besides I assume she is much younger than I anyway so our paths would not have crossed.

"I will tell you sometimes the mother wolves in this pack go crazy this time of year, thinking a simple dress color will give their daughters mates. You cannot trick the stars nor rush them everything happens as it should, when it should."

I know that last part was for my sake. I cannot help but think what a shame it is a dress color cannot sway the stars.

            The rest of day passed in a dull array of events nothing out of the ordinary nothing happened that strayed too far from any normal day of my life. It put my emotions and heart at somewhat of a peace; but the lingering thoughts of the event that is to happen tonight never left and keep me feeling a consent tension. I am a mere fore hours away from my fate being changed or remaining the same and adding another shameful count on my already unheard of age without being given a mate.

I have been sitting on the large sofa that occupies half of my mother and my living space. I have just finished reading one of my mother's books again. This one is tilted Sleeping Beauty it is one of my favorite stories the story is very romantic and seems to put my heart in a peaceful state and nostalgia. 

I every time I read those types of stories I always love to put myself in the characters place and image what it would be like. What it would be like to have my prince charming kiss me awake and fall madly in love, and of course like every other fairly tail ending live happily ever after.

I live most of my life with my head in the stars like my mother likes to point out. But I cannot seem to help it; my reality can sometimes be too painful to for me to cope with. Even though the characters in these stories are human I sometimes wonder if I were a human would life be easier would it be better. Humans get to choose their mates they get choose who to love. Of course I only have these books to base a human's life off of but it seems very appealing sometimes.

"Azalea, dear it's time to get you ready for the ceremony."  My mother's voice is soft and I can hear the excitement in her voice. I know she acts that way for my sake to help fill me with hope for tonight.

I close my eyes and take a breath I can do this, I have done this many times before. However this does not stop the anxious butterflies from filling my stomach.

Authors note: Okay please vote and comment this story is still very new so any feedback to make it better or just saying you are enjoying the story is very appreciated.