guarding the heart

chapter 19: Realizations

The reception afterwards was in the side room where the guests attended. Various pictures of Carl Waverly throughout his life were put up on display, along with some photo albums which were set up along the tables by the entrance, inviting people to get a glimpse of his life. Finn stood, staring at the pictures of the man he'd had to face down, his lips curled into a sad smile as he saw this man in happier circumstances; a picture of him at the Grand Canyon, another picture of him in his security uniform, another of him standing beside a racing car, one of him by the St. Louis Archway. Finn wondered how a man who seemed to have recovered from a poor childhood to have some kind of normal life managed to slip from it, start abusing his wife and pulling a weapon on armed soldiers. The two sides of Carl Waverly seemed so opposite from each other, and he was at a loss to explain it.

"You're the one, aren't you?"

Finn turned suddenly to see a small, elderly woman standing near him, about five feet tall with large, round glasses and her hair styled like a ball of wool on her head. Her body positioned directly beside him, and she stared at his face with kind, experienced eyes. She seemed familiar to him somehow, but he couldn't be sure. He swallowed before answering, unsuccessfully trying to turn from her penetrating gaze. "I'm sorry, Ma'am? I'm the one what?"

"Private Hudson, right? The soldier who came to my door the day this happened."

Suddenly, Finn clued into who this lady was. Of course! She was the neighbour who said she didn't need any help and only her fence was damaged. The one Omeasoo was first worried about. "Ah...yeah, that...I mean, yes Ma'am. I am."

She nodded and adjusted her glasses a bit. "I thought so. Wasn't sure without the uniform, though."

He smiled a bit at that comment, finding humour that here there was actually someone who recognized him better in his uniform than out of it. She continued speaking after a shared quiet moment. "I take it you came here on your own?"

The glee co-captain nodded, then shook his head. "Well, on my own in that I'm not with my unit, no. But my friends from the Guard came with me, too." He sighed. "I just...I'm the one who...well..."

"Had to shoot him?" The elderly woman offered quietly, quirking a silver eyebrow in his direction. When Finn failed to answer, she nodded and then grabbed his forearm and pulled him with her. "Come with me. I'll get us some drinks."

He followed along with her, not wanting to be rude or to pull his arm away too quickly and hurt her, but he shook his head a bit. "I can't. I'm still under-age and-"

"If you're old enough to serve your country in the army, you're old enough for a damn drink." She decreed, pushing him into the chair of the nearest table and walking over the bar. "Sit tight. I'll be back."

Finn blew out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and allowed his gaze to wander to the others in the room. There was a middle aged group of people on the other side of the room, and a few of them would glance in his direction and then turn away just a little too fully, almost as if trying to exclude him from the proceedings. Another glance to the back of the room showed a group of men in security uniforms also looking over at him, but then turning away to continue their own conversation and continue with their beers. Another person passed by his table, staring straight into his eye judgementally, but then continued on past the table without another word.

They know. Finn thought to himself, guilt and remorse again rising within him. Somehow, they all know. They figured out that Carl Waverly's killer came back to attend the funeral of the man he gunned down outside his own home.

The looks and stares were starting to get uncomfortable, and just when Finn thought he should get up and go seek out his friends to tell them it was time to go, the elderly lady who had told him to sit at the table reappeared and handed him small tumbler full of an orange liquid. "Screwdrivers, my favourite." She sat beside him and raised her glass, looking at him directly. "To lifelong regrets, be they mistakes or not." She clinked her glass against Finn's and drank deeply, not even making a face at it. "Go on." She motioned with her free hand. "It doesn't drink itself."