The City | GirlxGirl

twenty nine ➳

Yes, she decided. She did deserve it.

"I'm not saying I'm going to forgive you, Mack." Skylar glanced at Jude nervously, and saw the girl nodding in support. She felt a little more at ease with her at Mack's side. "But fine. I'll hear you out."

And as she pushed the door open wider, she pushed her heart open a little wider, too.

Mack was different. Skylar could see it in the way he walked: his shoulders slouched, where they used to be held high, and full of pride. His feet didn't lift completely off the floor, and with every step, he dragged his heels along the hardwood, like his body was too heavy for him to lift. The last time she had seen her brother, he was athletic, working towards a hockey scholarship. Now, he was nearly as thin as a sheet of paper. His arms were limp at his sides, and she knew if it wasn't for his loose fitting t-shirt-which was tattered, and ripped along the seams-Skylar knew she'd be able to count his ribs.

Clearly, she wasn't the only one who had suffered greatly these past four years.

But he deserved this. Or did he?

He's my baby brother, Skylar reminded herself. I'm supposed to be protecting him.

While Mack lowered himself tentatively into one of the wooden kitchen chairs, Jude sank into one as if it belonged to her. Skylar wondered how she could remain so confident in a situation like this, and envied her lack of anxiety. Jude walked through the hallways of her house like she owned the building, and Skylar had to remind herself that the girl had never even been here before.

"I'd rather not waste any time." Skylar was shocked to find her voice shaking. Even her body felt unsteady. Before she could collapse, or worse, before Mack and Jude could notice her entire body shivering, she settled into the chair beside Jude. She was glad she was here. Still mad at her, but glad that she accompanied Mack so she didn't have to face him alone.

But still a long way from forgiveness. For both of them.

"So if we're going to sit in silence," Skylar continued, her tone rigid, "you can both leave."

"I'm sorry," said Mack. "That's what I want to say to you. I'm sorry, Skylar."

Skylar stared at him, unmoved.

He shifted, and Skylar noticed a tremor: his torso twitching as he moved his elbows on the table, leaning closer to Skylar and Jude.

"There is not a day in my life that goes by without regret. You have to understand, if I had the power to go back and change it, to not do the stupidest, most reckless thing I've ever done, I would. I'd put Logan in my place. I'd die if it meant bringing her back for you." Mack's eyes, so unlike Skylar's, stared directly into hers, not blinking. Widening. His tone was powerful, yet his volume remained level. He was trying to convey as much energy as possible to make Skylar believe his words were true.

And she did believe him. So she let him continue.

"It is the worst thing I have ever done. I knew it was wrong. The night it happened, I knew I shouldn't have been driving. But when you're drunk, you can't think properly. If someone had been there with me to stop me, it would've been alright. But that's not the point. The point is, I didn't stop myself. It is one hundred percent my fault that Logan died. I know I can't bring her back, and I'll never be able to make it up to you." Mack turned, glancing out the window of Skylar's kitchen. The sky was pitch black now, and rain continued to beat against the back of the house. A muscle in his jaw twitched. "But I'm sorry. That's all I have, and I'm giving it to you. I want you back in my life, Skylar. I know it's never going to be like it was before, but can't we at least try?" Mack paused, ran his tongue over his lips. He still had that nervous habit. Turning, he looked directly at Jude, then at Skylar, and said, "I am begging you to try."