Saving The Gangsta

s i x

"You do realize there's no going back now, don't you?" I attempt to finalise, still unsure over whether she understands the terms of her loyalty.

"How so?" She tilts her head to the side, acting completely casual seen as she was on top of me.

"You'll have to kill people." I say softly, watching her eyes empty at the words.

They looked so lifeless as they started into my own.

"What if we end up killing innocent people?" She asks quietly, biting her lip anxiously.

"It doesn't matter. We're living in the middle of a war zone, we have to kill people. And when we're killing other people, things like good and bad, innocent and guilty, they can't exist. There's only us and the other side." I try to explain, knowing how difficult the information can be for people to process.

Not everyone is born with a monster inside of them; Not everyone is capable of murder.

She shook her head slowly, "I'm not a killer, Taylor."

"If it comes to war than that won't matter. You kill or you die." My words sounded harsh, that much I was aware of. We don't have an opportunity to be soft anymore. You fight and you kill. If not, you die.

And I wasn't going to let her die.

"You're not understanding me, Valentine." She leaned closer to me, until her breath was slowly warming my face. "I'm not a murderer."

"You will be." I whisper back at her softly.

She jumped off me instantly, stepping back. Her gaze strengthened. "You don't know a goddamn thing about me."

"I don't need too." I caressed her face gently, staring deeply into her mesmerizing eyes.

She unconsciously leaned into my soft touch, "You don't want to."

"You don't get to decide that." I argue back demurely, skimming my thumb against her cheek.

Pain consumed, blue eyes stared at me. "Trust me, Valentine. You really don't want to. You should've let Rogue kill me."

"No one's going to kill you while I'm around." I swore, clenching my fist shut as a way to seal the promise to myself.

She raised an eyebrow, "No one ever tell you not to make promises you can't keep?"

"Afraid not." I tease gently, sending her a small smile.

"I'm trouble, Valentine." She warns playfully, yet I couldn't help but notice the distant seriousness in her smile. "You've should've left me to rot."

I disagree with her instantly. "You have a reason for going after Rogue, I understand that."

"You wouldn't understand it if you knew the reason." She resorts back, I almost winced at the blossoming darkness in her eyes.

"The reason doesn't matter to me." I assure her, "Tomorrow, I'm going to show you how we work."

"You mean the part separate from murder and mass genocide?"

I grin, "Pretty much."

"Let me guess." She hums, "Drug deals, protection services, racing, fighting....assault."

My blood ran cold, "Assault?"

She thinks we'd do that?

She paused, a flash of pain running throughout her steel blue eyes. "It's not uncommon for gangs to...to rape and harass. I know that."

"Never." She flinched back at the severity in my tone. "We would never do that. I wouldn't be in this gang if they did."

She swallows, not quite meeting my gaze. "You sure?"

"I swear to you, Astrid." I gently hold her chin upwards, staring into her eyes. 

***

"You wanted to see me?"I comment quietly, holding my hands behind my back.

Becca looks up at my arrival, grinning at my words. I move forwards until I was stood next to her on the balcony, gazing idly into the night.

"Do you remember the first day we met?"

"How could I forget?" I reply without hesitation, biting my inner cheek in a bid to stop the massive grin threatening to appear.

"It was my first day in the Orphanage. I had no friends. I didn't know anybody. That was the first time I was completely alone. I just remember seeing everyone playing in the backyard, but you was sat alone too. One of the workers warned me to stay away from you, said you liked to fight and had a temper like a bull. I didn't listen to her though, because you were alone too. You glared at me the moment I sat down next to you, until you saw the gang mark on my hand."

The gang mark.

2 diagonal lines carved into your middle finger, appearing to create an X.

It's supposed to show how we're 'tainted'.

Trapped.

But it's also supposed to show how we're the same. Brought up surrounded by gangs, and death, and blood. It was our childhood so it must be our adulthood too, right?

Once you're in the gang life, there's no escape.

The only way out is death.

Out of all The Vipers, the only people who had the marking was Becca, Alexi, Jayce, Addy, Jesse and Me.

Out of all The Vipers, we were the only people built for this life.

"Tay? Do you remember what happened next?"

I looked at her knowingly, letting a small smile illuminate my face. "I asked you to be my best friend."

"And I said yes." She said lightly, "I promised to stick with you, be a sister to you."

"You brought a girl into my home, under Alexi's orders and mine." She continued, "I don't trust her, but Lexi seems to. If you think for one moment, she's lying about who she is or her intentions then I need you to tell me."

"You know I would anyway." I answer instantly.

My loyalty to my family is how I define myself, my loyalty to my sister.

"Tyler keeps phoning Lexi, and Asher won't leave his room." She admits, looking down ashamed. "I don't know how to deal with them. He's their brother, and he...he hurt them. He must be a psycho to be able to physically and mentally hurt his own blood."

"Both of them will be okay." I consoled, "They're tough. Asher's stronger than most of us ever will be."

"Xander said something to me the other day."

I tense up. Xander was one of our masterminds, but he barely talks to any of us. Alexi reckons it's because of some repressed childhood trauma that fucked him up, but I disagree. I think he wants to talk, I think he knows how to talk.

He just doesn't know what to say.

The thing with Xander is...He's weird. He speaks in riddles and metaphors. Never explicitly telling us to do something, but warning us of what will happen if we don't. I learned pretty early on that listening to what he says is important, because he is usually right.

"What'd he say?"

"He told me to cover all the looking glass." Her eyes studied me for a moment, before finally diverting back to the moon. "I have a feeling something bad's coming. We need to be careful, one slip up and we're all dead."