Grow Up--The Sequel

|Chapter 5|

*Taylor's POV*

I was hanging out in the living room when i heard a sob coming from upstairs. I furrowed my brows and immediately grew worried. Maddie and i have been staying at Shawn and Alyssa's house for a while now, until we find the perfect place for ourselves. Maddie was the only one upstairs right now, and i loved her, i wanted her to be okay. I sprinted up the stairs and ran into her room. By the time i got there, she wasn't really sobbing anymore. She was just wiping a few tears from her cheeks.

I calmly walked over to her asking what was wrong, and why she was crying.

"Taylor... it's bothering me that everyone is commenting about... Car-Ca-Carly." She stuttered probably worried about how i'd react. I sighed suddenly remembering my previous true love. I told my self i'd stop crying. It's been a year, almost two, since i've cried about... her. Maddie is a huge part of why i haven't cried in so long, and i'm extremely grateful for that. I truly loved Carly and i didn't think i'd ever love anyone like i loved her again. Until i met Mads. But you already heard that story, so let's move on.

I sat beside Maddie on her bed and hugged her. She hesitated to hug back, but she did it.

"I know... it's hard for me to see them, too." I responded truthfully.

"Taylor can i ask you something?" She questioned sniffling and wiping more tears.

"Of course. Shoot." I challenged.

"Do you still love her? Are you over her yet?" She asked looking hurt. I hesitated. This wasn't a question i wanted to come across ever in my life. I knew the honest answer, but nobody else did. Was i comfortable sharing it with anyone, let alone Maddie, yet?

"I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable... i'm just curious. I know the question sounds awful because of what happened, but... i feel like i deserve to know." She assured me rubbing my bicep. I nodded and inhaled. I smiled and tried my hardest to hold in my tears while the words i were about to say came out of my mouth. I can't believe they did.

"No. I don't still love her, but i did love her. So much. And now, with your help, i'm officially over her. Thank you." I kissed her quickly on the lips and walked out of the room before i burst. It was just another lie. No big deal, right?

I grabbed my keys and got in my truck to go for a drive, which i do a lot. I've been doing this frequently for a really long time. Just driving until i couldn't drive anymore. It's really relieving to know how much of the Earth is out there, but also kind of scary. You never know who or what is out there.

Usually, on these drives, i'm headed no where specifically. Just looking around Cali and exploring.

Today was different.

Today, i was missing Carly a lot more than usual. I was thinking of her, loving her more than usual. So, i went to the few places that reminded me of her the most. Where we've had our best memories, our bad memories, and finally, our very last memories.

My first stop of the night was the basketball court i took her to the day i finally asked her to hang out with me. She accepted, and we played one v one. We almost had our first kiss there, and on that court is where i first realized i really liked Car. More than a friend and a best friend. I arrived at the court at 11:48pm. I hadn't noticed how late it was until i got multiple texts from Mads asking where i was. I ignored her texts for the first time since i met her and continued with my journey. At the basketball court, i sat under the net where i let Carly make several shots so she could beat me. I let her win and let her think she was very good, when she was really hilariously awful. I smiled at the memory of her laughing as she attempted dribbling the ball down the court and past me. A tear fell down my cheek and i felt as if i was going to break down any second. Regardless, i continued on. I spent a few minutes there before i went back in my truck and drove quietly to my next destination, smiling and wiping some tears throughout the ride.

Where i went next was where Car and i had our first official date, where we went after the basketball court, and where Shalyssa and Caylor had their first double date. The boardwalk/beach/shore. I parked my truck and got out. I breathed in the salty air and pressed my lips together as i began walking along the boardwalk. Of course, it was closed at 12:04am, but it was a pretty sight nonetheless. I passed the shop where i always bought Carly cotton candy, the spot on the shore where we had our double date, and plenty of other places that held unforgettable memories with Carly and my other best friends. I was practically sobbing now, so i decided it was time to move on. My journey is coming to a close and i only have two more stops i want to make before i head home, so i want to get to the next destination as soon as possible. I also couldn't take the smell of cotton candy anymore, since it always reminded me of Car.

The next (and third) stop was closed down with tight security, but i somehow found a way in. I need to relive the memories Carly and i had here now, or i would never be able to forgive myself. I parked a long ways away from the place, so i walked a long time before i showed up at the Six Flags entrance. On the ferris wheel at Six Flags is where i kissed Carly for the first time and where we shared several more memories. I snuck my way to the ferris wheel and stared up at it. I found cart 7 and began balling my eyes out. Cart 7 is where Carly and i sat, just three years ago. Three years ago. God, thinking about it now made it feel like it was just yesterday... I climbed in the cart and touched the seat where we sat. I sobbed some more before i couldn't take it and had to get out before someone caught me or i cried to death. If Carly was here now... oh my. If Carly was here now everything would be different. But we'll get into that at the next and final stop. I walked a mile or two down to where i parked my car and drove to the last stop.

Last but not least, i had to revisit the place where it all went down. The street i will never forget. The terrible memory i will never forget. You guessed it, the final stop of my glum reminiscing was 5th and 6th North Bound. The intersection (street) where my life was changed forever. The scene of the crime where the love of my life passed away. Even if she died in the hospital, i couldn't bring myself to go there. I will never forget those sleepless nights, sitting next to her hospital bed and praying that she would wake up. I can't even bring myself to think of it in more depth. I parked my car in the nearest parking lot and walked into the middle of the street. I remember it like it was yesterday. The guys and i sped here from the restaurant in our tuxes and there were several ambulances along with police officers and firetrucks. The roads weren't busy, so i just stood in the street sobbing. I collapsed under my weakened knees and punched my fist into the black concrete multiple times. Blood appeared almost right away but i didn't care. Because apparently pain doesn't stop/phase me. The pain from Carly's death a year before i met Maddie didn't stop me from making a move and making her my girlfriend and loving her. The pain from loving Carly and then losing her in the blink of an eye didn't stop me from moving on a year later. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until it was 1:23am and i had nothing else to do. I screamed and flipped and cursed. I was mad and sad and frustrated and relieved and annoyed. I can't explain it. I guess there's really only a few words that can describe why i felt this way.

I still love Carly and i never stopped.

A/N: hey guys... writing this chapter was extremely emotional for me and i started tearing up;) i wrote it at 12am last night (or this morning? Lol) ! i hope it's good enough and gets the message across that i want it to get across. i rly hope you loved reading this chapter as much as i loved writing it, because it really captures the reality of Taylor's situation and how he's really feeling behind his "i've moved on from Carly" persona. i also loved it because i, as the writer, got to reminisce on all of the previous things i've written about Caylor (first kiss, bball, etc) anyway, thank you all for almost 100 reads, i love you endlessly❤️❤️