The Girl In The Night

Chapter Four

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I question if it's safe, but that passes when I realize I wouldn't get through life without it. It becomes a slippery slope and I start dabbling in illegal drugs to test their effects too. How I manage to get through school and work without crashing, getting caught or dying I will never know. Roxy doesn't get involved in our private lives if it doesn't affect our performances or the way our bodies look.

As soon as school finishes, my parents are hounding me to come back for the holidays. I don't want to go back. I don't want to face Caleb or any of his friends. I want to stay in New York and continue working at the club. I've heard the tips are awesome over the holidays and I really don't want to miss out on that. I also don't want to stop my after hours activities. There's no way I'd get away with any of my entertainment back home.

I'm walking around my apartment, trying to get the laundry together when my phone rings. It's either my parents, Roxy or Chris. I've been hanging out with Chris quite a lot recently. We're not dating or anything, just hanging out. We like each other's company and it helps to combat the loneliness. I'd never tell him that though. I refuse to make myself vulnerable like that. I'm wary of making friends, because I don't trust people's motives. If Nate and his friends can pretend to like me for so many years, then how can I trust people I've only just met to not be the same?

The shrill ringtone of my phone snaps me out of my thoughts and I quickly pick up before it rings through to voicemail.

"Hello?"

"Hey Little Bit."

"Hey dad. How come you're ringin' now? Aren't you in the barn? Hang on, is Dusty ok?"

"Whoa, slow down missy. Dusty is fine. I just thought I'd call now because I never seem to get you in the evenings anymore. How's everythin' goin'?"

"Everythin' is fine. Busy, but ok. How's everythin' there?"

"Same ole same ole. So, have you changed your mind about coming back for the holidays?"

I sigh, "I can't, dad. I have work and some reading and papers to catch up with before we start the new semester."

"If you need money we can send you some..."

I close my eyes and focus on not snapping at him. I don't want to go home. Can't he get the message?

"No, dad. I don't wanna take your money. I wanna do this by myself. It's time for me to grow up and take responsibility for my life. I'm doin' that and I'm actually enjoyin' it. I'll be back as soon as I can, but it's not gonna be just yet."

There's knock on my door so I go to answer it. It's Chris and his deep voice asks, "You ready to go?"

I move the phone away from my face slightly, but don't cover it as I reply, "One second, Chris. Just let me finish up here. Come on in."

My dad's voice takes a sharper tone, "Who's that?"

"A friend, dad."

"A guy friend?"

"Yes sir."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"No sir."

"Are you sleepin' with him?"

"Dad!"

"What? You're my little girl, of course I'm gonna worry about that. I want you to stay innocent forever..."

I frown at his words. If only he knew the truth of it. There's nothing innocent about me anymore. Well, I haven't murdered anyone or technically broken the law. Actually, scratch that. Underage drinking, illegal drugs, dancing at a strip club and prostitution; those are breaking the law but it's only damaging myself. I've never hurt anyone else, so I'm innocent in that respect.