I Wish (Niall Horan)

Chapter Eleven

Eleven

The next morning feeling like awful. Not like the kind of sick you when you’ve got a hangover, worse.  My head felt like it had been hit by a brick.  As soon as I sat up, it felt like I just got off a roller coaster, and I felt my stomach flip.  I ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.  

It was a week later, and I was even sicker than before.  I couldn’t stop throwing up, and I’d get massive headaches where even the slightest noise would send me into pain.  I would wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares, and I couldn’t get comfortable because I was either too hot and had to throw off the sheets, or I was incredibly cold and no amount of blankets could warm me back up.  I couldn’t keep hardly any food down.  The only things I had been able to eat all week were tea, water and extremely thinned down soup, so I’d become a lot skinnier than I previously had been.  

The boys kept worrying, and I had to miss a Sugarscape interview because I couldn’t even get out of bed.  Harry was repeatedly calling my mum, asking for ideas how to make me feel better, which made me laugh a little. Liam would make me tea, but he refused to make soup because it required the use of a spoon, so Louis or Zayn took care of that for me.  

On Sunday night, I was having the most trouble sleeping that I had all week.  I tossed and turned for a few hours and eventually gave up around one to watch TV, accidentally slamming my door behind me.  I walked to the bathroom and splashed water on my sickly face and took a box of tissues with me to the couch.  

I turned on some late night talk show and stared blankly at the screen until Liam and Harry walked out into the living room, rubbing their eyes.

“Shit, did I wake you up? I didn’t mean to slam my door,” I said apologetically.

They shook their heads.  “Nah, mate it’s all right.  Wouldn’t want you to be by yourself, sick old man!” Harry said, slapping my leg and flopping beside me.

“Wish we knew what was making you so sick,” Liam said.

“Me too.” I blew my nose.

“How long has it been?” Harry asked.

“Erm. I think it was last weekend, the day after I got back from Sophie’s house,”

It was quiet for a moment and Liam looked at Harry kind of funny and then looked at me. “…So you admitted to liking Sophie, right?” 

Here we go again.  I ran my hands through my hair and sighed.  “Yes. Okay, yeah I like her.” I said.  “But it will go away,”  Why was I lying to myself?  This isn’t the type of thing that just goes away. 

Liam gave me a look of disapproval.  “Niall.  I think everyone knows that you don’t just like her a little bit.”  I rolled my eyes.  I didn’t want to have to admit what I was thinking out loud.  “And come to think of it, you did get sick the morning right after you went over to hers.”

“…So?”  I asked, confused.  Why was I the one that never knows what’s going on?

“Well, I’ve heard of people getting really really sick, after they come to an important realization or decision.” Liam said.

I just stared at him blankly. 

Harry continued for him when I didn’t catch on.  “Do you think maybe when you went over, you realized how much you actually like her?”

All of a sudden, I just started talking.  “Yeah.  I don’t know what to do.  Everything about her is just so… perfect.”  They waited for me to continue talking.  “Like her hair, and how she lets me play with it, whereas other girls would worry about it getting messed up.  And just how incredibly beautiful she is, but nobody ever really pays it any attention, not even her.  And even just the tips of her fingers when she’s tearing open a box of tea.  Or how she’s only got a dimple in one of her cheeks.  And how she only laughs when something’s actually funny.  And she doesn’t always say what she’s thinking.  And how we’re just so perfect for each other, and she just doesn’t realize it, but it’s been there the whole time.”

I rubbed my eyes as Harry and Liam watched me with pained expressions on their faces.  “You love her, don’t you, Niall.”  Harry said softly.

I let out a strange noise that was somewhere between a groan and a cry and threw my face into my palms, ashamed.  Harry set his arm across my shoulder.

“It’s so wrong though.  I’m supposed to be her best friend, and always be there for her, you know?”  I sighed. “Not always want to kiss her.”

“What if you could do both?”  Liam asked.

I looked up at him, and he was smiling.  “What about John?”

“Fuck John!  If you show her how much you care, she’ll forget about him,” Harry said.  I laughed a little.

“Yeah, but how am I supposed to do that?”  I was never very good with girls.  Even though I’d known Sophia my whole life, the idea of telling her how I feel petrified me.

“Isn’t her birthday coming up?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, in about a week or so,” I said, calculating the days in my head. 

Harry smiled.  “Ahh, I see what you mean, Liam.  Give her a little birthday sex, that’ll be perfect!”

“Sex isn’t the answer to everything Harry!” I laughed.

“I don’t see how it’s not!” he joked.  “Seduce her with your sexy Irishness, and give her a night she’ll never forget, and you can count on her to leave him!”

We laughed and joked for a bit longer, until Harry got up to go to bed, leaving Liam and I on the couch.  We sat silently, watching TV for a few minutes.  After a while, I felt Liam’s eyes on me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

He sighed.  “I’m just really worried about you, mate.” he said.  “Ever since I brought up you liking her, you haven’t been yourself.  You’ve been quieter, more serious, and now you’re horribly sick.  I’m just worried about you.  I want you to be happy.”

“Liam, I’m fine.  I think that I just need some time to process things a bit, you know?  Then I’ll go back to normal.”  I half-smiled at him convincingly.  He gave me a look, like he didn’t believe me.  That smile wouldn’t have fooled me either.

It was quiet for a while longer, but Liam pressed on.  “You really do love her, don’t you?”

I looked over at him with wide eyes, unsure how to answer to that question.  I wasn’t entirely sure myself.  Or maybe I was just afraid to admit it.  “I.. don’t know,” I said.  “I think I might.” I looked down, ashamed again. 

Liam patted my leg sympathetically and got up to go to bed as well.  “I just want you to be happy.  If she’s what it takes to get you there, I would do anything to help you out.” he said.  “If you do love her though, you should fight for her.  She might be the one,” he said simply.

Please comment! tell me what you think!!!!