Truth and Feelings

Chapter 1: Crazy

Alfred's POV

Five years later

I rode through the city, a hood over my head so no one would recognize me. I doubt it, though. It's been over five years since the revolution. But still, be careful or find yourself dead. People walked past me, not even looking interested. It was a ordinary day in Seven of Spades.

A child run past me, laughing as his mother tried to catch him. I smiled, remembering my years as a child. I had been as reckless, like that. And Matthew... I shaked my head to get the memories out of my head. It didn't work.

"Matthew!" I yelled, running in the hallways of the castle. I didn't found him in the courtyard, or in the library, but I had a feeling that I knew where he was.

"Oh! Prince Alfred, please calm down." I stopped, looking at Jack Martin with wide eyes.

"I'm gonna find my brother! Do you know where he is?" Martin looked thoughtful, as he scratched his jaw.

"Hmm... I think I saw him going towards his room. But now, I have to go, prince. I have a secret mission given by our King." He smiled. Martin had looked tired then, but he also looked like a man, who knew his fate. I hadn't noticed it then.

I had said my goodbyes to Jack, and now I hurried towards my brother's room. He was there, reading a book in the language of Diamonds. Queen Joanne of Diamonds had given it to him.

"Matthew!" Matthew looked up. He sighed.

"Yes, brother? What now?"

"Let's go outside." Matthew looked longingly at his book; then he nodded.

"Yes!" I cheered.

I smiled sadly at the memory. Everything had been so well then... But now, my family and a future husband were dead.

The merchants shouted to people, like in that day where I had seen Arthur. But he was dead. I can't be crazy. I just can't. Right? A baby, maybe a few months old, looked at me with wide eyes. She pointed at the horse and me. She made babylike noises. Her mother tried to silence her. I stopped beside them, smiling. I got off the horse, and looked around. I took the hood off of my face.

"Oh, do you want to touch this horse?" I asked from the baby. Baby made more noices.

"No, no, good sir, you don't have to." Her mother deterred. "We don't want to bother you, sir." She said.

"Please, call me Alfred. And you aren't bothering me in any way." I grinned. Baby let out a cry.

"Can I hold her?" I asked. She nodded. I lifted the baby, holding her carefully in my arms. She was so light, so innocent looking; now I knew, what for we fought in the war. We fought that the next generation could live happily. I moved next to the horse, so that the baby could touch it. The horse neighed, and the baby tried to copy its voice. Her mother smiled warmly. Some passers-by looked us and made 'aww' sounds. Maybe they thought we were a family.

"What's her name?" I asked again. It seems that old habits don't die so easily.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Alfred. I've forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Maria, and her name is Kate." I passed Kate to Maria, carefully. I didn't want to drop her, she was so fragile. It felt weird when people didn't call me 'your Majesty' anymore.

"And... Where is your husband?" It was a mistake to ask that. Maria's expression changed from warm, happy smile to sad one.

"He... John died in a war."

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know-" I stuttered.

"No no, you had the right to ask. Usually women don't live without their husbands." She chuckled bluely. I nodded, uncertain. Then I got an idea, and I grinned. Maria looked at me, astonished.

"I know I have them somewhere.." I muttered, and soon I gave ten Spadian dollars to her. She gasped.

"No, sir Alfred, please. You don't have to give me money." She said, looking like she was going to cry.

"I'm sure you need it. I insist that you take that, Maria."

"But-"

"Take it for Kate." She sighed.

"Alright, Alfred." Maria put the money in her pocket. "But I must do something for you."

"You don't have to, I did it from my free will." I said, and felt like it was the truth. In court, you had to lie about almost everything, but here, with peasants, I could be myself.

"But still!" She insisted. I sighed, giving in; this woman didn't give up easily. Just like... Arthur. Almost.

I nodded. Maria looked happy.

"I'll serve you some food, when we at my house. I bet you must be hungry." Kate had drifted off to sleep, and Maria put her in the baby carriage. As an answer, my stomach growled. She laughed. It was lively laugh, not fake or liveless.

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Maria's house was old looking, like it had been built a century ago, not a decade. It had white walls, and the roof was light grey, some kind of metal or aluminium, I wasn't sure. Although I had been a King, I didn't know everything. I didn't even read.

"Excuse me for my house, it is old..." She trailed off, looking uncertain. "I didn't clean, so my house is a messy." She opened the door, while holding Kate. Kate flailed her hands, and slapped her mother in the process. I chuckled.

We walked in, and my jaw dropped. This house wasn't even dirty! Every surface was as clean as it could be.

"Could you hold here for a moment?" I nodded, and took the baby from her mother. She took her jacket off, putting it on the coat rack.

"I'm going to go to make some food, could you please keep an eye on her?" I nodded, walking to the living room. It was as clean as the entry. There was a small table, some bookcases, paintings and a fireplace. The curtains had been yanked off in front of the window. I could see the city further away.

I put Kate on the floor and walked closer to the window. I touched the glass; it was cold. In the horizon, I could see the forest. The sun was setting, dyeing the sky pink. I wondered how many kilometers I had rode. I had taken the horse to the public stables, where stable boys took care of them, of course, against money.

"John never liked the city, so we moved here." I startled.

"Jeez, stop startling." I acted shocked, and Kate giggled at my expression. A shy smile rose on Maria's face, but she turned away and went to kitchen. Soon, we heard her saying that the dinner was ready.

At the dinner, there was meat, vegetables and rice. We spoke, Maria told about her life, and tried to get me to tell about mine, but I didn't give in. Kate smutched the table, giggling, and we laughed at her.

"This is different than in the court." That sentence had slipped from my mouth. Maria looked at me, and we spoke no more. I didn't know was she angry to me.

We went to sleep, when I had bathed.

It was too quiet in my opinion, I had never liked the silence.

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I woke up at night with a startle. My vision was blurry, blurrier than it usually was without glasses. I barely saw my hand, when I lifted it in front of my face.

I didn't know that remembering could hurt.

Shame on you, Alfred, because you don't read books. My logic is that you can never read too much-

Anyone noticed the references?

Ugh I need to hoover whole downstairs + the stairs. Hoovering the sofas is gonna be hell... But no, I'm writing this and listening Beautiful Mess by Kristian Kostov.

I'm like Maria. She said that her house isn't clean, and I say the same thing about my realm a.k.a my room, and the only place which is a mess there is my writing desk.