The Van Pact

5: Stevie

Life is inherently unfair.

We didn't ask to be born, and yet, here we are. Subject to the same immovable physical laws that govern even the most insignificant one-cell organisms. You would probably think that I'm talking about Newtonian physics- and I am, to a certain extent- but there are other, additional laws every living soul must obey. Here are two: 1., If you want something really, really bad, you're not going to get it, and 2., If you do somehow manage to possess that object of desperate desire, everything currently in existence will conspire to take it away from you. These two laws- let's call them the O'Shaughnessy laws of inevitability (because I discovered them)- have suffocated the joy of almost every single person I've met.

For example: here is the last interaction I had with my dad:

We were eating frozen pizza, which never cooks that well in the oven. The crust came out overdone, while the cheese was unevenly melted.

I took a sip of lemonade.

"Hey dad," I set down my glass.

My dad barely looked up from his slice of pizza.

"Thanks for taking me to the hospital last night." I said.

My dad looked back down.

"Stupid ER takes forever to do nothing," he said, with a full mouth. "These people are supposed to have gone to college."

"I just wanted to make sure I didn't break anything-" I felt compelled to say.

"Yep," he took a sip of his Coke. "Everybody's a moron."

And I was left unsure whether he resented me for making him take me to the hospital in the middle of the night, or whether he merely hates all life. As you can see: there was no joy in that conversation. No joy at that kitchen table. No joy in that house.

And here is the last interaction I had with my mom:

We were outside, on the terrace of one of those fancy cafés on Main Street that she can only afford because she was going to use my douchebag stepdad's credit card.

"So, do you have a boyfriend yet?" she took a bite of her kale salad.

"Nope." I nearly choked on a dry leaf of kale. My mom ordered the kale salad for me, because "kale is good for acne." I was initially offended by that comment. But by this point in the conversation, I was more upset that the chef at this over-priced café did not know that kale needs more than a 'light lemon vinaigrette' to be edible. What do culinary schools even teach these days?

I took a sip of lemonade.

"Are you being bullied?" she asked.

Before I could spit out my lemonade, she jumped into this rant about my thirteen year old stepsister, Margie.

"Margie is being bullied. She says it's because she doesn't have a boyfriend, but I think it's because I leased the same color Escalade as one of the little brat's moms. I mean, sorry, but I see what I want, and I go after it."

I attempted to stab one of the crotons in my salad with my fork. It jumped out of my plate and onto the ground.

"That's the secret to happiness," my mom placed her hand on top of mine. "You have to see what you want, and go after it. No questions asked."

I watched a couple of ants investigate my croton. My mom's phone buzzed on the table top and she picked it up.

"JESUS CHRIST," she flung her head backwards. "I leave the office for ONE AFTERNOON, and already Juanita is gunning for me. I hate women." Her gaze fell back on me and she observed my gender. "Not you, though. You're my best little friend."

She squeezed my hand.

"Don't grow into a woman, okay?"

"Mom," I said, "I'm seventeen."

As you can see, there was no joy there either. Only the illusion of it. The O'Shaughnessy laws are at play. As they have been since probably the beginning of the universe. Heck, I bet when the first protozoan fell in love with the second protozoan, God decided right then to invent asexual reproduction, so they wouldn't even get to touch each other. It's enough to keep me from going to Mass most Sundays. That's the thing about God. He makes all these rules and laws, perfects physics and mechanics. Then, on the occasion things don't work out so well, he almost never intervenes.

I say almost never, because Valerie DiPaolo exists. Her joy has yet to be suffocated by the O'Shaughnessy laws of inevitability. I keep waiting for it, but no. I've never seen her dreams unceremoniously crushed. In fact, I've never seen a bad thing happen to her. There is no explanation. I've checked her natal chart. Her Jupiter happens to be in Sagittarius, which is lucky, but not that uncommon. There's no evidence that she should have this special, divinely-ordained luck. And yet, she does.

Which begets the question: why her? Why not everybody?

The answer is simple.

Life is unfair.

***

A/N: Next update Friday! Thanks for reading, voting, following! <3 Also let me know if Stevie and Valerie's voices are too similar- I've been worried about that for a little while now!