Conflicted Identities (Ackley Bridge)

Chapter 13

Nas

Walking into school, bag slung over her back- Nas begins to realise that people are staring. They know, they know about her guilty secret. Muslim girls can't be gay, everyone already knows that. But that isn't the only thing. A voice is whispering from afar, barely audible. She listens closer and closer. "Nas, I love you. I love you so much". She turns around and Lila is there, surrounded by a gleaming white light. They touch palms, then Nas cautiously steps forward and then they are kissing. Not the crazy kind, just kissing, the way all lovers do. Suddenly, Mrs Carter and Mr Nawaz appear, dragging Lila away into the distance. Nas begins to cry, but Lila remains calm as they pull her from her true love's grasp. "Nas, I love you. I love you so much". This is all she can hear, above the taunts and jeers escalating from the crowd behind. Everybody knows, and now she is all alone. "Nas, I love you. I love you so much"

Awaking with a jolt, Nas realises that she's safe. The sunlight is desperately attempting to poke its way through the blinds, managing to illuminate the room only slightly. Relaxing, she rubs her eyes and stretches her arms, exhaling deeply. She rolls over on to her back, and sitting smiling over her is Lila, also safe from the taunting potential of Nas' nightmares. Nas cannot contain her adoration, and automatically beams the moment they register one another's presence. Lila is sitting up, teasing Nas' hair with her fingers, smoothing it out over the softened, slept in linen of the bed. Nas mumbles to herself, enjoying the sensation of having another person play with her hair. She lifts up her own arm and strokes Lila's curls, then her cheek, and then slowly easing her thumb over her lover's lips. Lila faintly kisses Nas on the tip of her thumb, and they remain silent for those crucial, priceless moments together- the outside world blissfully unaware of their entanglement. Nas is awash with vibrant memories of the night before, the taste of Lila's lips and the touch of her soft palms. She wants those feelings to last forever, and desperately hopes that they can. A wave of self-consciousness begins to confront Nas, as she remembers that under Lila's crumpled duvet, she isn't wearing a thing. She rolls over to wrap an arm around Lila's bare waist, nestling her head into her thigh and closing her eyes in contentment. Lila is first to break the silence. It isn't awkward, nor is it negative. "Well, good morning to you too, sleeping beauty" she teases, continuing to run her hands through Nas' tangled yet unfalteringly beautiful hair. "Mmmmhmmm" Nas mumbles, her head still pressed firmly into Lila's thigh. She giggles, and Lila feels the vibrations echo through her body. When Nas finally looks up, her eyes are wide and pleading. "Hey" she says, "I think...I mean I know...but I think that I love you". Lila should feel alarmed by this dependence, but things just feel so right with Nas, regardless of how unconventional their love may be. "I love you too, Nas", Lila replies ever so quietly. They are both mentally picturing their future in all of its bright and wonderful glory, yet neither will admit it. For now, each other's company should be enough, but Nas' stomach is uneasy at the prospect of losing her one true and undying love. She eases herself away from Lila's thigh and they both lie down flat on their backs, pondering the things to come. "Sooo, did you enjoy last night then?" Nas cautiously enquires, feeling her cheeks burn a deep crimson. Nas has absolutely no previous experience in the events of last night, and is therefore relying upon Lila for justification. "Yeah, maybe a bit too much" Lila replies, and although she isn't showing it- Nas is ecstatic. "Ooooh well I'm very glad you did! Beats a Biology lesson in my opinion." She winks, and Lila rolls her eyes- smiling from ear to ear. "I assume you'll need to borrow some clothes, unless you plan on wearing that sparkly blue dress again" Lila teases. Knowing full well that she has yesterday's clothes still in her bag, Nas places it to the side of her mind and bats her eyelids at Lila, who has gotten out of bed and is rummaging through her drawers in only her underwear. "Can't spare a shower, huh?" Nas hints, to which Lila laughs and chucks her a towel from a nearby stack. "Feel free to join me, Miss Sharif" Nas giggles, dancing from the bedroom into the bathroom, humming the tune of 'Suraj Hua Maddham' as she goes.