Random writings

That feeling

You know the feeling? The feeling that you get when you think someone is ignoring you . You get this aching sensation in your stomach, that voice  in the back of your mind telling you something's up, you get the feeling that things are going down hill. But you ignore it and think you're just over thinking things. A few days pass by and still nothing from them. You start believing the voice in the back of your head everything it told you seems to start happening. Then one day you suddenly get something from them, your heart jumps out of your chest. So many things run through your head, some good, some bad. Your hand starts to shake as you open the message, tears sting at your eyelids as you read the message that breaks your heart in half, the message that changes everything. You blame yourself, you start asking yourself questions, what's wrong with me, where did I go wrong, why am I not good enough, why did I mess up, Thought you loved me, I thought I loved you , theses questions eat you alive. You talk to this person and ask them theses questions they answer them but they answer with , nothing's wrong with you, you didn't ever go wrong, you are good enough, you didn't mess up, I do love you. But you don't believe any of that this person hurt you found someone new but yet they still say they love you , they really don't love you no matter how bad you want them to they really don't. Someone who loves you is not supposed to hurt you like that. So now things are over between you to you cry yourself to sleep. You wake up the next morning eyes swollen from crying and there's that feeling again, in your stomach, the tears sting at your eyes once again but this time you have to hold them back. You look at yourself in the mirror make up stained down your face, puffy red eyes, you see the pain your feeling and it hurts more. you go through your day and act happy none sees the pain you're in because you're hiding it and hiding it well. You get back home walk to your room flop on the bed and break down once again. Everything hurts but you realize something. You realize that you shouldn't be going through this pain , you deserve better. You start think this is not worth the pain You start to move on, things get better. The past is in the past, you forget all that  pain and your happy again. Your happy because you deserve to be happy.