the bibs & bobs

Little Things

3 years ago Alannah Bennett made a mistake when she fell for one of the biggest flirts of her school.

13 months ago she made yet another bad one that led to his betrayal; that led to her hatred for him which caused them to never speak again.

At least up until Lana’s best friend decided to drag her back on the school oval where old friendships and buried feelings rekindled once again. Where all the boys hung out and where everything she had become used to, got back on the crazy train, throwing her off balance from what she insisted she was okay with. 

Forcing Lana back into the world of love, hate, fights and first-everything’s, she comes to learn what first love is all about, what it means to accept the past and look forward to the future, and how to forgive and move on.

But you know what they say; it’s a lot easier said than done, especially when the person you claim to hate continues to do all the little things that you fell for in the first place.

"Why do you do this to me? Why do you always say those kind of things when you know how I feel about you?" I couldn't meet his gaze, I couldn't even look at him - I was so, so damn angry.

Why did I have to have feelings for the one guy I hated most?

"Because," he said quietly as he tried to step into my line of view only to have me drop my gaze to the ground - to the space that separated us. "Because I can't let anyone else hurt you, I won't let anyone else hurt you the way I did."

"You have no right!" I raised my voice at him as tears burned my eyes and my fists shook, "you have no right to do what you did," I snapped as I stepped away from him and shook my head. "Because I hate you," I said in a calmer tone as I finally met his gaze head on in time to see him flinch.

"But you don't," he said. And he wasn't gloating, he wasn't mocking me, he just knew.

"I do."

And yet, time and time again, I still sounded as if I was telling myself that instead of him; as if I was reminding myself of the simple fact. 

"I'm sorry," he murmured as his throat bobbed in a swallow.

"Yeah," I forced a dead laugh as I continued backing away from the eyes I loved, the eyes that still watched me oh-so-damn carefully, "me too."

Ch. 1

“Hey, c'mon, let’s go oval!” my best friend Katie grinned at me as she tugged my school jumper and led the way.

Scrunching my nose in distaste I couldn’t help but resist, if not stop, at all. “But they’re there,” I grumbled which caused her to roll her honey brown eyes and yank me toward the oval anyway.

“C'mon Alannah, it’s been so long,” she whined as our feet finally met grass and my eyes immediately went straight to where a group of boys, and a couple of girls, hung out – the boys of whom I used to always talk to.

“Fine,” I muttered even though we were on the oval anyway and standing at the very edge, Katie being nice enough to let me make the first move, “but we’re not going over there,” I told her shooting her a warning look as she waved at Tyson, one of the boys, and grinned.

“Okay, okay,” she mumbled as she followed me to where the trees lined one side of the oval, opposite to the buildings, the boys on the same side as us, but far, far away – at least as far away as a school oval could let you.

“I still don't see why you hate them so much,” Kate said as we finally sat down, Katie against the tree and my back to where the boys were, my peripheral on the people playing footy and soccer around us because of my irrational fear of getting hit by a ball. “I mean, sure they’re all so immature and stupid but they’re still fun to be around,” she noted as she turned her head to look at me, and then at – what I figured – where the boys were somewhere far down behind me.