human ↦ calum hood {au}

thirty-two: okay

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO:

| calum’s pov |

You heard it, Calum. It’s your fault.

You were so consumed by useless anger that you left out the most important thing– her well-being. This all started because you wanted to help her, but once you forgot about it not being her entire fault. 

“Fuck; someone kill me,” I yelled, my voice echoing through the halls. 

Some nurses looked at me with wide eyes but quickly turned their attention to whatever they were doing because they were used to this kind of behavior. They worked at a hospital, of course, at least one person died here.

It’s just good that there wasn’t anyone who knew me from this floor of the hospital. I’ve never visited any other floor from here, other than the first floor. 

But it was a relatively small place, having three levels. Someone’s bound to see me lamenting over my shitty mistakes.

I sighed, taking in what the doctor had said earlier. 

It was all because of the pills; the pills that I gave to her. I only ever searched for things that could lessen depression while erasing bad memories.

Guess what I learned in college wasn’t as useful as I thought. I didn’t think of it as some important report I had to do; it was just some fast and easy solution. 

And that’s a fucking dumb move, on my part.

I’m the real problem here; it never was Lynette. The love and understanding I should have given her would have been enough to keep her from being eaten whole by her disorder.

I could have stopped this; I know I could. 

Now I don’t know if Lynette will still be able to function properly after everything that’s been said and going to be said to her.

That laugh she did wasn’t helping. It felt like she was mocking me, yet it was more of an acceptance of how much of a lunatic she is.

But I know she’s not that. She’s not going to be like that.

I won’t allow it.

If I have to tell her the whole truth, then I will. I just don’t want her to give up on life altogether or to disappear from me. 

I still need her to be okay.