serenade

eighty three

donghyun

the abandoned school garden, the place where erin and i used to date. she met me here, and this place also witnessed my sufferings when she left.

after erin left, i go here by myself every single day—hoping that she'll be here one day and tell me she'll never leave me again.

but then, eris happened. instead of being miserable at this place all by myself, i chose to go home and wait for her messages that never failed to make me smile.

"hey." her voice interrupted the running thoughts inside my head. it was erin, walking towards my direction.

"oh, hi." bati ko.

she sat at the bench nearby, which made me do the same. ngayon ko lang ulit siya nakasama nang ganto kalapit.

"this place used to be really beautiful before i left." she said.

"yeah."

before she left, this place wasn't abandoned. in fact, it was the both of us who made this garden beautiful like the way it should be.

we were still freshmen when everything started. i was in class 1-b, siya naman sa 1-a. one day, we both got punished at the same time because i was caught cheating during a test, and she was late for 30 minutes. as our punishment, we were ordered to clean and beautify this place for two weeks.

within those weeks, the both of us got close. then suddenly, we found ourselves looking for each other's presence everyday. until we developed deeper feelings for each other, which led to a deeper relationship.

"ano ba yung sasabihin mo sakin?" she asked me.

"you told me there's something you need to tell me too." i replied.

"how about you go first?" she suggested.

"let's say it together."

i took a deep breath. i should end this without the both of us getting hurt.

"let's end everything."

"i still love you."

each other's words surprised the both of us. and hell, erin still loves me?

"go on." i told her. i know she has lots of things to explain.

she sighed. "yes, i still love you. but it doesn't mean that i want the both of us back together. i know i caused you pain within those years that i wasn't here with you. naging selfish ako. i never considered your feelings. so i thought, i think we need to let go of each other than hoping that everything can still work like the way it did before. you deserve someone else. someone who will love you more than i did, and someone who won't hurt your feelings like i did." tears started falling from her eyes. suddenly, my body moved itself and hugged her—like the way i used to.

"when you were gone, i told myself that i will always wait for you no matter if it will take more than ten years for you to do so. i told myself to make everything the way it used to once you come back. but one day, tables turned. i suddenly realized that i should give up. that i should stop hoping for something that is impossible to happen. i missed you. i missed the both of us. but like what you said, let's stop hoping to make everything work like it did before." i said while she's wrapped in my arms, crying.

she escaped from my hug and wiped her tears. "since we both think the same way, so it must be easier for the both of us to let go of each other, right?"

"i guess so." i answered.

a genuine smile rose from her face. "be happy."

i smiled back at her, and said the same words. "be happy, erin."