Stay | Arctic Monkeys Fanfiction

Thirty Seven- I Heard an Unhappy Ending

I had stopped the tears by the time I got back to Alex.  He couldn't see me like this.  Not if I wanted my plan to work. 

And it had to work.  Even if it broke me to do so.

"That didn't take you long," he said as I walked through the door.  He stood from my bed and crossed the room to me, smiling that smile as if nothing in the universe was wrong.

Little did he know.

"I was thinking," he continued.  "And I have a plan.  Because I can't marry Estella now that I know that I have feelings for you.  That I have, erm, always had feelings for you."

"Al..."

"I think that you and I should book our flights out for tomorrow or the next day.  Then in the morning we should just sit Stell down and tell her how it is.  She's very understanding.  I'll repay her for all of the wasted wedding money, which might leave me fucking broke, but I don't care."

Shut up, Al. Please please please just shut up. 

He smiled again, wide and beautiful and unsuspecting.

"I have so much to say to you that I've been waiting years to say," he said, moving closer. "If I had stayed in Sheffield, Dav, it would have been you. And even though I didn't stay, I think it always has been you."

His words were only making it harder. Of all times in our relationship, he chooses now to spill his poetic guts everywhere.

I felt my heart break a little as he closed the space between us.  He kissed me but I couldn't find it in me to kiss him back.  I pulled away after just a second before the tears could start.

"Dav," he said, seemingly undeterred by my withdrawal.  "This might be a stupid fucking question.  But earlier when we were talking and I said that I think I might be in love with you... you never told me how you felt."

Fuck.

There was nowhere to hide now. I tried to gather up my strength.  What little I had left.

"I think this is a bad idea, Al," I said, pulling out of his arms.  He kind of stood there for a moment, like he was unsure of what to do.

"Of course it is," he told me.  "But you and I have always been trouble, haven't we?"

"Alex."

His brows pulled together.  "Is something wrong?"

Everything.  Everything was wrong.

"We need to talk," I said simply.

"So then talk."

I took a deep breath, because what else could I do right before I was going to lie straight to the face of the boy I loved more than anything else on this Earth.

"Alex," I said to him.  "I don't love you."

He didn't react.  I don't think he believed me.

"You're my best friend, but nothing more."

Still no reaction.

"We're not going to leave together," I continued.  "Nothing will ever happen for us, and you know it."

His mouth parted slightly, but he didn't say anything.  His face was still stone, cold and unmoving.

"And I think it's best that I don't go to the wedding. For everyone."

Neither of us moved or breathed or spoke, and we settled into a still silence that began to eat me alive.  Our eyes stayed locked until he broke the stare, his eyes drifting to stare at nothing.