The Cursed House

The End

~Rana~

It's been 4 months, 120 days

I tried to be okay, i know this isn't supposed to be easy, But i keep waking up in the middle of the night screaming because of a nightmare. I barely sleep now. It always feels like if i close my eyes for a second something terrible would happen so i just try not to close them and instead i keep remembring all those bad things and cry till i fall asleep then i wake up screaming and crying and it goes on and on and on. Im still alive, but im barely breathing.

Everything here suffocates me.

It's hard to stay here .. nothing is the same anymore.

My friends, or should i say my ex- friends, we barely look at each other

We walk past each other and pretend that we never met.

It's almost like we all agreed not to talk to one another .. to forget one another, but we never really said that.
I don't know when we decided not to talk. Maybe it was the day when we got out of that house.

I know it just happened.

I know that we all just stopped talking for no reason, or maybe for every reason there could be.

Life is hard, i know. And Sometimes we have to go through things we are not supposed to go through, and there are people that we cant live without but have to let go because maybe holding on to them is hurting us or reminding us of the things we dont want to remember. That's why i knew i had to let them go, my friends i mean.
I wanted to hold on to them. To be here for them but i cant.

The places i used to call home and feel the warmth in are no longer warm and all i could ever feel in them is coldness.
Everything i had to go through made me lose parts of me. Parts that made me who i was before i lost them and when i lost them i couldnt recognise me at all. I look in the mirror every morning and i wonder who is that girl i see in the mirror everyday? Its not me, but do i know who i am anymore? I dont.

That's why i have to go, to find out who i am. I need that. I need to find me.

The boys, they took a break and everyone went home to their families, we haven't contacted each other since then.

Even harry, we didnt talk.

Sometimes stiles would call me in the middle of the night crying, he would tell me how much he misses amber, he would say that he wants to go to her, and i would talk him out of it. I would try to help him but i couldn't do much, he is depressed but so am i, so is everyone i guess.

Farha and Rahma , i don't see them much, i would see them in college if i went but we dont talk anymore, we barely even make eye contact.

Dina, we live in the same house yeah. But each of us is locked in her own world. I dont get out of my room unless i have to or want to.

Those people, the people i used to call my bestfriends, we are no longer friends. We are no longer ourselves even.

So i decided to leave. I arranged everything i need, im moving to New York , so far away from here.

I need to start over. I need to forget what happened.

I wrote a letter to each one i cant look in the eyes and say goodbye to.

"Dear Harry,

The greatest boyfriend i've ever had, The only boyfriend i've ever had.

I don't know if we broke up or not, our relationship is a messed up one, isn't it?