He Needs Saving Too

Part 9

The mission to Lagos hadn't gone exactly as planned. Although, to tell the truth, things could have been much, much worse. Wanda was getting a lot of hate because she had killed those eleven Wakandans. You did your best to try and make her feel better, but you used to be an assassin, and that fact didn't really help any.

"Steve," you started as you entered his room. He was sitting at his desk watching the news. He turned off the computer and looked up at you. "Do you think that you could go talk to Wanda? She isn't really handling the whole situation very well." you explained.

"I thought you were going to talk to her." he said.

"I was going to, but then I realized that an ex-assassin might not be the best comfort right now." you replied.

"Alright." he said and left the room.

You stood for a minute after Steve had left, looking down at the computer. The temptation to turn it on tugged at you. You carefully sat in Steve's office chair and looked over to the black computer screen, biting your lower lip, contemplating whether or not to turn the news back on. You wanted to know what everyone thought about what had happened, but you also knew that you wouldn't like it. You couldn't help it though. You quickly reached out and shook the computer mouse to wake it up and the news began to play again.

"The members of the Avengers team in Lagos included Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, and former assassin y/n y/l/n. While y/l/n had helped in Sokovia last year, many have been brought to wonder why the Avengers have included her as a part of the team." the reporter said as several pictures and videos of you during the Lagos attack played on the screen.

The video then cut to a man on the street in Lagos. "I'm just not sure that having a former assassin with no memory of her past on the team is a very good idea. She worked for Hydra. Her view of saving the world might tolerate a few deaths along the way. As we saw today, she quickly dismissed the fact that several people had just been killed or seriously injured."

You thought back to when the explosion went off. You had been running through the market trying to find Steve when you came up on Wanda keeping the blast contained to Rumlow and keeping it from Steve. She struggled to hold it there, so she lifted him into the air, knowing that she wouldn't be able to hold it much longer. She let go and the explosion took off the side of a building. You rushed to her side as she shriveled back in horror. You looked up at the damage. Definitely a few dead. Not sure how many injured. Of course you felt sorry for the few who had died, but you didn't want it to cloud your focus on the mission. You thought that what had happened would be one of the best case scenarios. After all, she kept hundreds more from dying, and people hated her for only eleven deaths instead of celebrating the fact that she saved so many more.

You came back to the present. You didn't really see a problem with the fact that you didn't stop to mourn their deaths for very long. But apparently, in the eyes of the world, that made you heartless. And because they thought you were heartless, they must also think your dangerous. So maybe the next time you go out, people will avoid you. Your eyes began to go wide as your thoughts snowballed into something horrifying. Images of angry mobs of people storming the streets and calling for your arrest flashed in your mind. You quickly shut off the monitor. All you could see was the terrified look on your face reflecting back at you off of the black screen.

"Am I really a heartless monster?" you asked yourself as you pulled your arms across your torso.

Out of the corner of you eye, you saw Steve as he came in the doorway. "You're still here?" he commented.

"Yea." you sighed and looked over at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked once he had seen the look on your face.

"Steve, do you think I'm heartless?" you choked.

Steve's face melted into concern. "No, of course not. What made you think that?" he asked.

You looked back at your reflection on the black computer screen and bit your lower lip.

Steve sighed when he realized why you were thinking you were heartless. "Y/n, you know they don't know what they're talking about. They don't know you." he said.

"But they knew that I didn't stop to mourn the deaths of those people!" you exclaimed, your throat beginning to get tight like you were about to burst into tears.

"But that's not your fault. You've learned to accept what happens and move on with your life. Trust me, a lot of people wish that they could do that." Steve said.

"Like who?" you asked the tears start to roll down your cheeks.

Steve stopped but didn't break eye contact with you. "Me."

You gave him a confused look, waiting for him to continue.

"When I first came out of the ice, I didn't want to believe that I had slept through seventy years. I wished that I could go back and be with my friends, back to the life I knew. And I feel guilty for a lot of things that have happened to my friends. Especially Bucky. It's just always been hard for me to move on." he admitted.

"But none of that was your fault, Steve. You didn't have any more control over what happened to you than what happened to me or Bucky." you said.

"I know." he sighed looking down at the floor.

You stood from your seat, simultaneously wiping the remaining tears from your eyes, and stood in front of your distressed partner. "We'll find him. I believe that." you said with a reassuring smile.

"Thanks y/n." Steve replied, returning the smile.