whisper | rilaya

eleven

"Do you like me?" Her eyes were wide, eagerly awaiting my answer to a question that was asked out of the blue.

The two of us were being the textbook definition of useless. It was a late Sunday night and we were laying beside each other on an uncomfortable air mattress. Nothing happened between us besides lots of horrible jokes and giggling, but the tension in the air was thick enough to cut with a knife.

"Okay... where did that come from?" Sometimes, Riley was painfully blunt, but I guess it kept things straightforward. I avoided her question, knowing that everything would change if I told her the truth.

Riley kept her voice down because my parents were still upstairs. However, the necessity in it continued to grow. "I just need to know Maya. We're running circles around each other. One second you look at me like I'm your world and the next you want me gone."

Our eyes met and suddenly I couldn't breathe. "I feel whatever you want me to feel."

"No! Maya, this is about you. You've been putting others in front of you your whole life, do something for yourself please. Just once." Riley begged, holding my left hand between both of hers. The grip was tight, she was scared that I would somehow leave her.

Silence.

"Tell me what you want Maya." She sat across from me, searching every inch of my face for something that would tell her how I was feeling.

I shook my head, reminding myself to not allow myself to get hurt again. Everything that Riley is has been a fragment of my imagination, I've constructed her from scratch to be this perfect girl. It's only inevitable that when she regains her memory, she'll become a completely different person.

"It doesn't matter what I want, life always finds a way to ruin it anyways." There's no point in hoping." I sighed.

"Do you want me?" She whispered. I shuddered, noticing that whispering has somehow become our primary form of communication. It's always gentle, and intimate, something that I wasn't quite used to.

No response.

"Maya. Answer me."

"YES! Of course I want you! You're beautiful and smart and kind and ever since you came into my life you've made me feel all kinds of things that I've never felt before." I poured my heart out to her, panting for air when I finished.

Searching my soul for courage, I pulled her left hand off of my own with my free hand and placed it over my chest, right above my heart. It was beating so fast that you could feel the effect this girl had on me. Riley's skin was soft, it was like an angel was touching my heart.

Riley gasped quietly when she felt how quick my heart was racing. "Am I doing that?" Her voice was so low that a pin drop would have been louder.

I was too overwhelmed with my own emotions to respond. Shyly, I nodded my head and stared back at her. Our faces were so close that I could see the way her eyes sparkled in the low lit atmosphere.

With her hand still planted firmly on my chest, Riley cupped my cheek with her other hand and kissed me, hard. It was desperate and passionate and rough, making it too many things at once for me to understand.

I gasped in shock when our lips collided. It took me a couple of seconds to respond to the kiss but when I did, it was so beautiful. My hands wrapped around her petite waist as Riley climbed onto my lap, not separating from me once.